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05 November 2006 @ 10:50 pm
Supernatural Gen Drabbles: All This Is Not  
Title: All This Is Not
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Missouri, Sam, John (Gen)
Rating: PG
Summary: 3x100 drabbles on “Denial” for supernatural100.

x-x-x-x-x

Blessed (Missouri)
It’s a gift (not a curse) she reminds herself.

The sensing and knowing is part of God’s plan. She cannot question whether she wants it-- He deemed her worthy.

City crowds are overwhelming. Murderous thoughts and doomed children flash inside her as she walks along the street. Darker things may be among them, their presence an odor fouling the sameness of the everyday world.

She stays close to home, but Evil finds her. It shows her everything, miles away or even right next door.

But she helps, she foresees… she comforts.

And these tears aren’t hers.

She swears they’re not.


Imagined (Sam)
They weren’t visions when he had them—they were only nightmares. Buried memories, or awful imaginings based on the stories Dad and Dean had told him about Mom.

The fleeting images of black robes and untold power were nothing he’d known before. They seemed impossible, unreal-- warped distortions of things the Winchesters hunted down.

When he awoke to the flames of family legend, he knew it was hopeless. He’d lost his future for the second time.

But he couldn’t have foreseen what those nightmares had meant.

They were only dreams before— how could he know that was going to change?


Waiting (John)
Would her hair be gray like her mother’s by now? He can’t help wonder, years too late, what they would have had.

Her memory lives not in sweetness, but in her helpless end. He sees her trapped and tormented, as she died and not as she was. Every smile and word is overlaid with fire and horror and shock.

He’ll have peace when he finds the Demon. After vengeance is done, Mary will return again with all those locked-away details of joy.

It haunts him still that he cannot find her. Victory will change that.

It has to. It will.


------ fin ------




 
 
 
bluesister on November 6th, 2006 07:18 am (UTC)
You and your multiple drabbles! I esp dig the insight into Missouri.

those locked-away details of joy
Such a loss and, yeah, with the focus on revenge, it does seem like John always saw Mary burning after that when he should have remembered the years of love. I'd never noticed that before.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Johnhalfshellvenus on November 6th, 2006 10:06 pm (UTC)
I esp dig the insight into Missouri.
I meant to write her for "Second Sight," but I had a backlog and was running out of time and inspiration then. This one suited her really well-- oh the pain of something she can't give back, and isn't allowed to wish was gone. :(

it does seem like John always saw Mary burning after that when he should have remembered the years of love. I'd never noticed that before.
It's part of his makeup, that he's focused on revenge and on the future. His now is an empty place, and the past is locked behind trauma of when Mary was lost.

What a terribly bleak place to be...
B: SpN - Rock Uponstrifechaos on November 6th, 2006 12:49 pm (UTC)
Awww very sad vibe, wicked awesome work though. *grins*

I feel so bad for them all, Sam's whose nightmares have become real, and John who can't move on and remember the good years, and Missouri whose inner sanctum doesn't even keep the monstrous visions away. Ok now I totally need some fluff. *grins* *waves*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on November 6th, 2006 10:09 pm (UTC)
Awww very sad vibe, wicked awesome work though. *grins*
Hee! Thank you!

Ok now I totally need some fluff.
There's so little fluff in SPN-- it's mostly flangst if anything! But... try out this pornariffic gem: Wincest at sunrise...

There's also a cute Lincoln & Michael kidFic on snow... ;)

*waves* *sends magic smarty-pills for mid-terms*
B: Movie - NT goldenstrifechaos on November 8th, 2006 09:19 pm (UTC)
kidFic with snow? *blinks* *gushes* Eeeeei! Love. I'll have to check it out. Thanks for the rec! *bounces*

Pornariffic Wincest gem will totally work. *grins* *glomps* *waves*
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on November 6th, 2006 10:10 pm (UTC)
Poor Sam-- who could honestly know something like that was going to become real?

The prompt lends itself to starkness (though I supposed I could have done a cracky Humor thing with one of them). But it's a good one. Denial is part of how the Winchesters live!
The Grammarian about whom your mother warned you.acostilow on November 6th, 2006 02:24 pm (UTC)
*flappy hands*

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on November 6th, 2006 10:11 pm (UTC)
Hee! Thank you! :D
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on November 6th, 2006 10:12 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much, Dawnie. :) I was so glad to get these out on time, for a change. And oh, what a prompt!
mercurybard on November 6th, 2006 04:13 pm (UTC)
Kudos to you for taking a peak into Missouri's skull.

Sam's one was full of great lines like They weren’t visions when he had them and He’d lost his future for the second time.

But it was John's that was the most heart-wrenching, especially the idea that he can't remember Mary except as the woman stuck to the ceiling.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on November 6th, 2006 10:14 pm (UTC)
I was so overdue to write Missouri-- I thought I'd get her on a previous challenge, but time and inspiration ran out.

especially the idea that he can't remember Mary except as the woman stuck to the ceiling.
God, what an awful, awful thought. But everything he showed-- his obsession, his lack of lightness-- indicated that his past went up in flames right with her, and only the horror of her ending remained. Ouch.

blazeorfadeblazeorfade on November 6th, 2006 10:32 pm (UTC)
This great, my fave is Blessed. I like the insight into the struggle Missouri must go through with an ability like hers. Very poignant.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on November 7th, 2006 08:13 pm (UTC)
I like the insight into the struggle Missouri must go through with an ability like hers.
Oh, I think the only thing worse than having that gift of seeing the offered future (so often a dark future) would be having to try to be grateful for it even as it destroys you.

Ouch. :(
     Mandya_phoenixdragon on November 7th, 2006 03:46 am (UTC)
Whoa!Damn!...and WHOA...

*Squeals and hugs you*

*Sends love*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on November 7th, 2006 08:14 pm (UTC)
:D Thank you, Phoenix. :)
plutogirl10 on November 7th, 2006 09:12 am (UTC)
Three very insightful drabbles into interesting denials; I espcially like Missouri's. She's often overlooked in the spn fandom, and I like seeing more of her.

And poor John,

After vengeance is done, Mary will return again with all those locked-away details of joy.

No one believes it, even him.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Johnhalfshellvenus on November 7th, 2006 08:16 pm (UTC)
I espcially like Missouri's. She's often overlooked in the spn fandom, and I like seeing more of her.
I'd kind of like the boys to touch bases with her as a resource, even from afar (better for Dean in so many ways).

,i>And poor John, no one believes it, even him. </i>
But oh how he wishes he did. Because what's left-- what has he squandered for himself and the boys-- if he's wrong?