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01 November 2006 @ 10:24 pm
Prison Break Gen Fiction: Always Tomorrow  
Title: Always Tomorrow
Author: HalfshellVenus
Character: Lincoln (Gen)
Rating: PG-13 (subject matter)
Summary: PreSeries. Good intentions alone are not enough.
Author’s Notes: Written for prisonbreak100, where I have the Gen pairing of Lincoln and Michael. This is for prompt #20, “Colorless.”

x-x-x-x-x

Tomorrow would be different.

This was the vow Lincoln made to himself.

He would try harder, act more responsible. He’d be at work on time, and come home when the day was over.

He would not get fed up with the little things, not with the crew boss’ attitude or with Michael’s questions. He would be there for his brother, emotionally as well as financially.

And above all, he would resist the temptation to give in to alcohol or drugs.

But in the end, his tomorrow wasn’t different enough.

All the frustrations came back so quickly. Maybe he was short-tempered… but then maybe other people were just jerks. It was such a battle every day, dealing with their whining and their demands, and half the time what they wanted would be cancelled out by the next thing they asked for two hours later.

All the days ran into each other— an elongation of blandness broken by irritation. There was no future on the horizon. He lived in an endless repetition of the same flattened-out, colorless day.

By the time the worksite closed down, Lincoln was worn-out and restless all at once.

He was edgy and disgusted with his job, and he was bored with every facet of being alive. Nothing but back-breaking, dull routine for the sake of a paycheck. And at home all that waited for him were the accusations in Michael’s eyes.

When Rod Forbes suggested a ride to the lakeshore, Lincoln took it. Any thoughts of consequences and promises had already slipped away.

They sat at the edge of the water, a flyspeck of acid dissolving on their tongues. Lincoln leaned back on his arms and enjoyed the mounting haze, the washing away of all the dull gray sameness that defined his entire life.

The waves took on colors, and the air vibrated at the edges of everything he saw. He let it take him, let it transform him on a journey toward welcome escape.

Today was already gone, but tomorrow would be different, his mind whispered inside itself.

He summoned the promise again in a mantra of Then as he drifted to where there was only ever Now.



------ fin ------




 
 
 
bluesister on November 2nd, 2006 06:50 am (UTC)
When this started, I thought it was set post-now so it was interesting to adjust. And I like the respect you give Lincoln's decisions--viewing them from the inside rather than as *another* frustrating mistake.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB Final Hughalfshellvenus on November 2nd, 2006 07:07 am (UTC)
Oooh-- I should mark this as a "Pre-Series" story. I forget those details sometimes.

And I like the respect you give Lincoln's decisions--viewing them from the inside rather than as *another* frustrating mistake.
This is one of those areas where Lincoln is so UNlike me, that I strive to get inside his way of thinking, and to understand how something that seems like so obviously a bad idea just keeps happening (though canon shows us that he hates himself for it and has tried and tried to change that).

To Lincoln, this must flow out in some way that stems from who he is, and how he views his life. The idea of it being so frustratingly empty and dull is an intriguing difference-- if you don't like where you're stuck, and you don't think you can really change it... then escape is the one thing that will work for you.

Thanks so much for your comments! You must be a night-owl like me-- I should be in bed right now and not here!
mooyoo: Lincoln - Wall shadowsmooyoo on November 2nd, 2006 07:13 am (UTC)
Mmm, very nice look at how easy it is too fall into that trap of "I'll do it tomorrow" (I wrote something similar on Papa Burrows last season sometime [before he was part of the conspiracy and was still just a dead beat dad] about him wanting to go back home every day for years but each day putting it off until the next day, etc etc), especally for Lincoln at this point in his life, when he wants to be straight get himself together but can't seem to pull himself out of the hole he's in. Or at least, that's how I've always pictured him during this period.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Lincoln (pensive)halfshellvenus on November 3rd, 2006 03:50 am (UTC)
before he was part of the conspiracy and was still just a dead beat dad
Yes, back when he was a viable and thankfully absent character. :( I remember those days...

Or at least, that's how I've always pictured him during this period.
And that would have such a great father/son addiction parallel-- the predisposition to want a better tomorrow but to always take the easier path today. And in the end, nothing changes except that you get closer to the gutter and let it pull you down...
aeroport_artaeroport_art on November 2nd, 2006 09:00 am (UTC)
A very interesting take on Lincoln's life, I don't think the fandom concentrates enough on how and why Lincoln became the way he did (drugs, arrests, etc). The idea that he's driven to drugs because life is just difficult and dull seems like such a natural explanation.

All the days ran into each other— an elongation of blandness broken by irritation. There was no future on the horizon. He lived in an endless repetition of the same flattened-out, colorless day.
Very evocative.

Boohoo, Michael's a butt in this. I guess they can't all be M/L T__T
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Lincoln (pensive)halfshellvenus on November 3rd, 2006 03:56 am (UTC)
I don't think the fandom concentrates enough on how and why Lincoln became the way he did (drugs, arrests, etc).
Canon has not show us enough of the "how" and "why" itself-- a year later, there are still these gaping holes in who Lincoln and Michael were back then, and why the hell Michael would go to such lengths to save someone who feels himself to be so worthless and who has such a short path back into self-destructive behavior.

Canon's short answer is "Michael is dumb like that because of his LLI," and given that I think the angle on Michael being infatuated with Lincoln is far more viable.

But what I'd like to see is some idea of how Lincoln got to be that way, and why in Michael's mind he was still worth saving.

Glad you liked the idea and description of it. Somehow that seems like Lincoln to me-- low frustration threshold and easily bored, and sidestepping the whole situation is one way to avoid it all.

Boohoo, Michael's a butt in this.
He isn't necessarily (and this one's a Gen piece, BTW-- I write half and half). Lincoln anticipates Michael being disapproving (and perhaps he is), but if you depend on someone for your sole support who tends to go off half-cocked over little frustrations (potentially losing a lot of jobs just due to his temper) and doesn't come home and is stoned when he does... can't imagine most people being very tolerant of that. I think Michael would find that scary.

Really, the key thing here is that Michael's disapproval is really Lincoln's disapproval of himself. True of Michael or not, Lincoln projects it (as addicts and people with low self-esteem often do).
The Grammarian about whom your mother warned you.acostilow on November 2nd, 2006 07:34 pm (UTC)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Lincoln (pensive)halfshellvenus on November 3rd, 2006 03:57 am (UTC)
Hee! Thank you. :) *whispers-- It's Thursday!*
PamalaX: domclosepamalax on November 3rd, 2006 08:38 pm (UTC)
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh perfect!!

I'm on a weird *colorless* kind of mood myself
at the moment so this hit the spot like you
can't begin to imagine today!
Thanks
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB Final Hughalfshellvenus on November 3rd, 2006 09:44 pm (UTC)
:D Thank you, Pamala. Is it your weather that's causing the blahs? I hear it's snowing in Chicago already.

I so do not miss my short time living in the Midwest. Eternal snow from October-April. Bleah.
PamalaX: Domkiddnpamalax on November 3rd, 2006 09:49 pm (UTC)
We have snow on the ground and its falling again
today. I posted pics of it yesterday and all
the warm weather people were all * awwww pretty *

So yes its the weather and the passing of another
year! :oP~~~

I posted a new challenge for Nov that you might
want to do so pop by and see if you want to snatch
one of the characters
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB Final Hughalfshellvenus on November 3rd, 2006 10:05 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the poke! My f-list explodes with post-Supernatural wank on Fridays, and I just don't tend to be able to tackle it in any timely way. *steals off to take a peek* :D
blazeorfadeblazeorfade on November 6th, 2006 10:29 pm (UTC)
This is just so sad. Its amazing how you brought out the hopelessness Lincoln feels and the way he tells himself that things will be different. I really like this one a lot.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Lincoln (pensive)halfshellvenus on November 7th, 2006 07:07 am (UTC)
Its amazing how you brought out the hopelessness Lincoln feels and the way he tells himself that things will be different.
It's such a burden being stuck, and wanting to get out while being drained of the energy to leave. I sometimes wonder if too much responsibility drove Lincoln to drugs. Or it could have been so much of what was here-- low frustration threshold and becoming so easily bored.

So much denial here. So much Lincoln.

Thanks for reading and commenting! Nice to hear from you over here. :D
Are we back to hos over bros?lissa_bear on November 7th, 2006 03:47 am (UTC)
Ah, you capture the frustration perfectly! And this totally makes you sympathize with fuckup!Lincoln.

And at home all that waited for him were the accusations in Michael’s eyes.


Love this.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB Final Hughalfshellvenus on November 7th, 2006 07:09 am (UTC)
And this totally makes you sympathize with fuckup!Lincoln.
I so often think he really wanted more, and too much of it was all the wrong things.

The projection of his own self-hatred onto Michael... Lincoln's a master at damning himself for everything, whether it's actually his fault or not. Why not buy disappointment and disapproval as well?

Glad you liked this, Elissa! The PB muse apparently went off on a Cruise or something thanks to the weirdness that has been much of Season 2. Must.Chain.Muse.To.Radiator. ;)
happy is as happy doeshappywriter06 on November 9th, 2006 01:31 pm (UTC)
Seriously (I so need to stop saying that and typing it), you are my idol in fan fiction. I just all your stuff.

"All the days ran into each other— an elongation of blandness broken by irritation. There was no future on the horizon. He lived in an endless repetition of the same flattened-out, colorless day." I love that line. It just evokes such an image.

We've gotten a lot of info on Michael, the writers need to give us more on Linc. There is so much there.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Lincoln (pensive)halfshellvenus on November 20th, 2006 07:59 am (UTC)
Thank you so much, happywriter! It just makes me dance inside when I receive comments like this. :)

I love that line. It just evokes such an image.
Oh, so happy to hear that! I really wanted to convey the idea that Lincoln could be driven to escape the monotony more than anything-- that there aren't enough sharp edges in his life otherwise to make it worth living.

the writers need to give us more on Linc. There is so much there.
My first Gen pieces were about Lincoln, and the main reason for it was exactly as you say-- given that Michael is risking his life and destroying his future for Lincoln, who IS this man exactly? Is he worth it? Is it mutually-assured destruction through loyalty? What?

And it's Season 2 now, and we still really don't know much about Lincoln at all. How is that possible?

happy is as happy doeshappywriter06 on November 20th, 2006 03:54 pm (UTC)
I'm happy to make you dance. :-)

Season 1 was Michael. It seems like season 2 is all about action. So maybe season 3 will give us more about Linc. Keeping my fingers crossed.