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05 October 2006 @ 09:15 am
Supernatural Slash Fiction: Of Galleons And Ghosties (AU Sam/Dean PirateFic, Crack)  
Title: Of Galleons And Ghosties
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Sam/Dean (Pirate AU, Slash, Crack)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The cracked-out adventures of the wily and wanton Winchesters on the high seas.
Author’s Notes: This be the cracky pirateFic, with the romantic one here. Both were written for summercon, at impertinence’s bidding…

Serendipitous visuals by leyna55 to get you in the mood can be found here.


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Buckles and swashes and pirates that slashes...Collapse )



 
 
 
BEWARE OF JENMAR.: SPN - Gay Boys - SamandDeanclex_monkie89 on October 8th, 2006 04:27 am (UTC)
Wow. You are insane in the very best way possible and I love you for it.

Also? This is me not reading anything (Why do I sign up for nine million different challenges?). Sh, don't tell.

And? PIRATES!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on October 9th, 2006 05:11 am (UTC)
Wow. You are insane in the very best way possible and I love you for it.
That's really the only possible explanation for something like this, isn't it?

Except that this was totally not my idea! I said yes to something at summercon and got stuck with this prompt. Although the results were worth it. :D

And? PIRATES!
Because it apparently must happen. :0
(no subject) - clex_monkie89 on October 9th, 2006 07:03 pm (UTC) (Expand)
belleimani on October 8th, 2006 04:08 pm (UTC)
I really want the crack you're smoking.
This is hilarious and Jack hitting on Sam and eyeing up Dean makes me giggle.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on October 9th, 2006 05:12 am (UTC)
I really want the crack you're smoking.
:D I could really have used it about a week earlier, the first time I tried to write this thing!

I can so easily see Jack turning his slut on for Sam and Dean-- individually, but even moreso as a pair. ;)

Thank you, belleimani. :D
(no subject) - belleimani on October 9th, 2006 03:20 pm (UTC) (Expand)
darkhavensdarkhavens on October 12th, 2006 09:54 pm (UTC)
“We be the wily and wanton Winchesters,” Samuel agrees. “With unrivaled swordplay in bedchambers or in battle.”

Hee! Oh, this is crack in its purest form. Wonderful! :D
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on October 13th, 2006 12:02 am (UTC)
:D Thank you so much!

I so rarely write Crack, and it's hard to say which one is Crackier-- this, or "When Godzilla Attacks," which is in the Prison Break fandom.

Pirates vs. Godzilla. Which will win? ;)
Entendre? Make mine a double.: OMG crack yaydeirdre_c on October 13th, 2006 04:20 pm (UTC)
OH MY GOD, hon, this is TOO FUNNY!

“Aye,” Samuel says softly. “I plan to roll about and rut with ye this morn, afore the deck-swabbing and buccaneering begin.”
“Arrrr,” Daring Dean croons. “’Tis a good team we make, with thy planning and my plundering.”
“We be the wily and wanton Winchesters,” Samuel agrees. “With unrivaled swordplay in bedchambers or in battle.”
“Come close, me lad,” says the Captain. “’Tis time to unsheath our weapons…”

Ah Samuel, it sets me loins a’burning when ye fathom such darkling deeds.”

BWHAHAHA!

And a Sam/Dean/Jack Sparrow sounds awfully pretty! Mmmm.

Thanks for sharing this one!! Yay!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on October 13th, 2006 05:25 pm (UTC)
OH MY GOD, hon, this is TOO FUNNY!
Yay! Crack is hard for me to write, but Pirate!Crack!Fic is doubly hard. :0

I will say this... Sam and Dean are well-satisfied in this story, for pleasure if not for treasure. ;)

And a Sam/Dean/Jack Sparrow sounds awfully pretty! Mmmm.
:) Except that I can't see Dean sharing Samuel with another man. I think that would hit way too close to home. Ahhh, jealous!Dean and jealous!Sam. How I do love them. :D
the only blowup doll bobblehead on the internet: omgyay yellowimpertinence on October 13th, 2006 08:37 pm (UTC)
Oh, man.

*bursts out laughing*

“Aye,” Samuel says softly. “I plan to roll about and rut with ye this morn, afore the deck-swabbing and buccaneering begin.”

I can picture Sam saying this and AAHAHAHAHAHAH.

“’Tis unseemly to take a baby from its parent, though its parent be otherwordly and freakish.”

*SNERK* Oh, Pirate!Dean. <3<3

“We be pirates, Dean, not politicians. Plunder and push on—‘tis the motto of our trade!”

Aaand now I'm down for the count. \o/

Thank you so much for writing this and sorry about me sucking with the commenting. You write the absolute BEST crack. ♥♥♥♥♥

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on October 13th, 2006 09:36 pm (UTC)
though its parent be otherwordly and freakish.”
:) I'm so glad someone finally noticed that line. ;)

Aaand now I'm down for the count. \o/
Yay! Death by a thousand cracked-out tidbits!

Thank you so much for writing this
Oh, you're so welcome. It would never have happened without your summercon prompt (I might be the only one that wrote any of the prompts! Had trouble finding the follow-up part in the comm).

Crack is TOUGH to write, I say (and pirate-ese as well), but when all is said and done... I think the fandom needed something as random, wrong and just all-out bizarre as this!

Thanks for the inspiration. \o/ PirateDean raises a bright red parrot in your honor! :)
Mitochondrial Eve: SPN show mewhosjeebus on October 31st, 2006 12:57 pm (UTC)
before i get started, let me just say i that hope foul and sacriligeous language does not offend your gentle ears...

holy fucking god!

i don't think i've laughed that hard in a month of sundays. this is hands down

the.

best.

crack!fic.

EVAH.

and this: '“Months at sea, with the galley slave or thine hand alone for company,” Samuel counters. “Perhaps longer, if thou’st continue to belabor the point!”

“Arrrr!” Daring Dean growls in frustration. For a man ruled by such unnatural urges—shared, ‘tis true, but yet unnatural—his Samuel is remarkably prudish.'


i had to stop reading to go into the bathroom and splash water on my face, because i was laughing like a crazy woman. TEARS of laughter, and i ended up with a stitch in my side to boot.

and then it started all over again when jack sparrow showed up.

this is SO mem'ed by me, and anyone else i can convince to read it.

my love for you continues to grow in leaps and bounds. i would stalk you harder than i already do, if only i had more time...


The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on October 31st, 2006 07:55 pm (UTC)
don't think i've laughed that hard in a month of sundays. this is hands down the. best. crack!fic. EVAH.
Whoo-hoo! \o/

I dream of hearing that, especially after a story tries to kill me in the writing of it.

i had to stop reading to go into the bathroom and splash water on my face, because i was laughing like a crazy woman. TEARS of laughter, and i ended up with a stitch in my side to boot.
:D *thrilled beyond containment!* I'm glad you noticed that particular exchange-- Sam's ultimatum there just about kills me. And, who can blame him? ;)

The Jack Sparrow thing was irresistible too. And jealousSam and jealousDean in the same fic are hard to beat!

So glad you liked it! It is probably the most insane thing I've every written. Took a week to get "pirate-speak" out of my head. :O

Arrrrr!

(Anonymous) on March 23rd, 2007 06:27 am (UTC)
Dude, you used the word "ken"! You rock!

~RaeS
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on March 24th, 2007 10:45 pm (UTC)
I managed to use it with its earlier meaning, too!

Getting into the pirateSpeak was half the fun of writing this. Getting back out again was harder than I thought. Arrrrrrrr! :)
peccare on June 12th, 2007 04:04 am (UTC)
oh my god. oh. my. god.

most hilarious thing in the history of time???

i think yes.

ps captain jack *snortflail*

pps ur dialogue, with the accents, is just so good.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on June 14th, 2007 09:03 pm (UTC)
:D So glad you liked it! It's quite the demented adventure all around, but aye spirited and piratical in nature. ;)

I'm thrilled that everyone recognized Captain Jack, even though I didn't name him explicitly. And you certainly know poor Samuel would be tempted by his offer... Arrrrr. :D

Thanks for reading!
realpestilencerealpestilence on July 21st, 2007 06:10 pm (UTC)
This whole thing amused me very much. I must admit my favorite part was when Daring Dean got upset at taking the kraken baby away from its parents. Awww...



Pesti
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean slashhalfshellvenus on July 23rd, 2007 05:30 am (UTC)
This story was a hoot to write, though it put my brain on "pirate" for a couple of weeks afterward!

Your comment reminded me to finally link the wonderful Baby Kraken drawing that deliciouspear made for the story. I got stalled out by the LJ Scrapbook feature being down for ages when I first wrote this, but now the story is truly complete. :)
Harley: Are You Watching? Supernaturalcrimsonkitty88 on March 7th, 2008 09:07 am (UTC)
*mouth falls open* OH. MY. GOD. *dies*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on March 8th, 2008 01:39 am (UTC)
Haha! Who knew it was even possible to write something this insane?

But for better or worse, there it is. :D
(no subject) - crimsonkitty88 on March 21st, 2008 03:03 am (UTC) (Expand)
livsnddark: dean eats in a crisislivsnddark on July 6th, 2008 08:42 am (UTC)
I think I got here via Wiki?

Just wanted to say I think this is crackTASTIC! Exactly what I needed. Thank you! And there maybe something seriously wrong with me cause I could perfectly see this playing out in my head -and I'm still a mess of giggles! <3
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam/Dean kisshalfshellvenus on July 6th, 2008 10:49 pm (UTC)
The story is definitely meant to help you envision these piratical adventures- from the zombie in the cave to the ships-ala-inferno left behind. ;)

I'm glad you enjoyed this so much. It's uncontestedly one of my stranger offerings, but totally worth the work AND the ten days of "pirate" being stuck in my head. \o/
Unsupervised children will be used as bait.: PotC laughing pirates by ambayuundhvana on July 19th, 2008 11:01 pm (UTC)
Oh, these fics just must have hurt to write. I'm trying to picture writing not one, but two fics totally immersed in pirate language and the thought just gives me a headache. Still, it was worth it--once I started reading, it was like listening to a storyteller speaking naturally, not trying to change anything for a listener who might be unfamiliar to his speech.

But I have to say, this story just cracked me up!

“Rrrarh?” The creature contemplates its uneven stumps.

And then "Daring Dean", who is such a softie, wanting to protect the kraken and the "defenseless maidens", and who doesn't like how the crew enjoys watching others get lashed. Plus, he's a total pushover when it comes to Samuel. Anything Samuel wants, Samuel gets, whether it's burning ships or nights spent with scented oils. The Captain may be "Daring Dean", but clearly Samuel's the one to be feared.

These were a fun couple of stories! A nice break from reality. :)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on July 20th, 2008 07:52 am (UTC)
I'm trying to picture writing not one, but two fics totally immersed in pirate language and the thought just gives me a headache.
They did kind of hurt-- my head was stuck in "pirate" for about two weeks while working on these. :0

Still, it was worth it--once I started reading, it was like listening to a storyteller speaking naturally, not trying to change anything for a listener who might be unfamiliar to his speech.
Yay! That's wonderful to hear, because it's very much "pirate narrative," and that includes a lot of constructs and conventions that we don't use ourselves. I wanted the right tone, but not to make the reader feel as if she were constantly translating the narrative.

But I have to say, this story just cracked me up!
Bigger yay! This one was kind of a challenge- how to work in the "ghosthunting" without Sam and Dean really knowing what they were doing. This one-- the zombie encounter-- is a perfect example of that. It just happens that Dean's first response-- hacking off its arms-- is an extremely useful approach, and removing the head pretty much seals the creature's fate. Do they know what the creature is? No, but I think the reader does. And in the end, the creature is vanquished all the same. ;)

The Captain may be "Daring Dean", but clearly Samuel's the one to be feared.
It's proof of where cleverness can triumph over strength or impulse, isn't it? Samuel knows how to manipulate Daring Dean and keep him in line, and we can tell that it's a neverending task. But not without its rewards, on both sides. :D

So glad you enjoyed these-- and the utter ridiculousness of them. After S3, I think we could all use a moment or two like that. :)