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01 October 2006 @ 10:46 pm
Supernatural Gen "Hearing" Drabbles: In Translation  
Title: In Translation
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Sam, Dean, John (Gen, Angst)
Rating: PG
Summary 3x100 drabbles on “Hearing” for supernatural100.

x-x-x-x-x

Commitment (Sam)
When he said he wanted a normal life, his family heard houses and holidays and Pop Warner football.

All that would be nice—but only window dressing on a life spent chasing all the wrong things.

What Sam’s really saying isn’t encompassed in a mortgage or a calendar of school activities.

Stop hunting is what he means. Commit to the simplicity of living, not the lure of darkness and unending chances to die.

His family hears apple-pie boredom. But what Sam’s asking for is a life that’s more than just looking to find the thing that will finally kill them.



In Translation (Dean)
The world belonged to him once, before it ended in flames.

He’s lived in this new world more than twenty years now, this world where he listens but is no longer heard.

He watches, learns before he needs to. How to take care of Sammy and Dad… how to already know things with the smallest chance of being wrong. He is afraid to disappoint... afraid to someday lose his right to a second chance.

Do you need me? is the question every selfless act hopes to answer.

Do you love me? is the deeper translation of what it really means.



Voices (John)
He hears things in his dreams, things that sound like Mary or like much-needed answers. Mary’s voice brings such happiness, unless she’s screaming. Those times, he wakes with her terror in his heart.

Any answers that come are too vague to discern when he’s conscious. Almost-maybe, if-and-then are simply colors that linger without clarity.

He hears things in his dreams that sound like destruction. He’s learned to discard them when the imminent end is his own. But when the anguish is his sons’, he cannot remain casual. He memorizes contexts, desperate to recognize the clues should they ever become real.



------- fin --------
 
 
 
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on October 2nd, 2006 06:13 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! And yes-- the difference between what you mean and what other people hear (or what you won't say but what your actions speak for you) can just be huge.

I love that icon. And Kripke's ideas on music. Because while alternative rock was a worthy genre... alternative 'pop' is a meaningless phrase that just means the same crap every other station plays.

Go Zeppelin and grunge! Die emo-boys and their accoustic guitars.
Ice-T: an actor, also a refreshing beveragefiddleyoumust on October 2nd, 2006 06:14 am (UTC)
this world where he listens but is no longer heard.

Oh Dean. Poor thing. I just ache for him.

His family hears apple-pie boredom. But what Sam’s asking for is a life that’s more than just looking to find the thing that will finally kill them.

Exactly. His family thinks he's running from them, but really he's holding on to them for dear life. And that knowledge combined with what we know of Dean's insecurities just makes everything all the more heart breaking.

I loved all three of these. They're perfect and the last lines in all three of them really punch you in the gut.





The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on October 2nd, 2006 07:45 pm (UTC)
Oh Dean. Poor thing. I just ache for him.
I ache for him the most of all. Such a happy, treasured little boy could not possible know that he was giving that up forever at the age of four. :(

Exactly. His family thinks he's running from them, but really he's holding on to them for dear life.
He's looking at their preservation, which cannot be bought with 20+ years of chasing death. Neither John nor Dean looks beyond "the ending," perhaps because they won't be there to see the "after" anyway once it's done.

They're all such different forms of ... listening, really, than anything. Waiting to be heard, hoping to hear that you really matter, and afraid to miss anything useful in the nightmares that never stop haunting you.
The Grammarian about whom your mother warned you.acostilow on October 2nd, 2006 06:29 am (UTC)
Oh, Jesus.

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on October 2nd, 2006 07:46 pm (UTC)
Maybe needs an angst warning, huh? All three of them went that way.
(no subject) - acostilow on October 2nd, 2006 07:48 pm (UTC) (Expand)
bluesister on October 2nd, 2006 06:32 am (UTC)
The distance between what is said and what is meant is a clever take on the prompt. I especially like your explanation of what Sam meant by "normal."
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on October 2nd, 2006 07:48 pm (UTC)
The distance between what is said and what is meant is a clever take on the prompt.
It's funny-- Sam's started out that way right off, but that set the tone of the other drabbles as well.

I especially like your explanation of what Sam meant by "normal."
:) Thank you! If I were Sam, that would be the biggest fear underlying those words. All his family hears is "shallow" and what he's stuck on underneath it is "survive."
I'm for wine and the embrace of questionable women: feetmissyjack on October 2nd, 2006 09:20 am (UTC)
All wonderful.
Fav lines:
Commit to the simplicity of living, not the lure of darkness and unending chances to die. Sam says it in the pilot doesn't he? what he is after is "safe". ironic that after he is drawn back, he takes up the pursuit of death so strongly.

afraid to someday lose his right to a second chance
you've captured an aspect of Dean here I hadn't quite thought of before

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on October 2nd, 2006 07:54 pm (UTC)
Sam says it in the pilot doesn't he? what he is after is "safe".
I couldn't remember that far back, actually. I just liked the idea that "Normal" was not just the trappings of a certain 'lifestyle.' It's really about not spending your life doing something that will bring your own destruction. Live to be living, not just waiting to die.

you've captured an aspect of Dean here I hadn't quite thought of before
The difference between what his insecurities drive him to think (backed up by facts, such as abandonment by absolutely everyone he's ever loved) and what his family thinks he's all about is so huge that it's impossible not to speculate on how deep it goes. Dean hasn't done anything wrong... but the way his family keeps leaving him would sure imply otherwise. How can he really know?
     Mandy: Dean by dawnie1970a_phoenixdragon on October 2nd, 2006 09:49 am (UTC)
Ohh!! Oh, Sammy... *Snuggles him....* Maybe someday...

Dean!! *Sniffles* WE love you babe - but we also know why you need your family so damn much... They DO love you honey, even if they don't always listen...

John... Oh John... *Sobs* *Snuggles him* Damn everyone for making me like John!! *Weeps*

*Hugs you* Awesome as always dear...
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on October 3rd, 2006 05:39 am (UTC)
Maybe someday...
I hope someday Dean will at least consider that a soldier need not fight his whole life long.

but we also know why you need your family so damn much...
Sadly, his family doesn't seem to know why, and though they love him they don't show it in ways he believes or trusts in for long. :(

Damn everyone for making me like John!! *Weeps*
I'm still not sure whether I like him myself, but the urge to understand him (even if I disagree) is so compelling that it keeps coming out in these drabbles.

Thank you, phoenix! *hugs*
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on October 3rd, 2006 05:41 am (UTC)
they are so at odd with each other, with the world. Oh.
And isn't that just the worst thing? At odds with the world because of what they do... but at odds with each other in a cruel twist of reality, when they have only each other to support and understand what their family is all about. :(

Is just heart-aching.
Dean still hurts me the most, and it never stops. John knows the boys love him. Sam knows that Dean at least loves him. But Dean... Dean may always doubt. *aches for him*
dc_longwing on October 2nd, 2006 12:31 pm (UTC)
Ooof, girl. Heartbreaking. And lovely. This: Commit to the simplicity of living, not the lure of darkness and unending chances to die. is one of my favorite lines ever. That's exactly what Dean and John need to hear.
I'm shaking my head in admiration.
Thanks,
DC
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on October 3rd, 2006 05:44 am (UTC)
That's exactly what Dean and John need to hear.
And yet they just don't get it. The concept of ever standing back and saying, "I of all the people in this world do not have to live and die this way," just eludes both of them.

The fight is worthy, and they are among the few that try. But that does not have to be the only thing they ever do, and wind up dying before they live even the most basic simple beauties of life. :(
(no subject) - dc_longwing on October 3rd, 2006 10:47 pm (UTC) (Expand)
random_seriousrandom_serious on October 2nd, 2006 04:37 pm (UTC)
These were all vivid and packed a punch. As usual, my heart broke the most for Dean. (I'm just that way!)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on October 3rd, 2006 05:46 am (UTC)
As usual, my heart broke the most for Dean.
Oh, mine too. His is the most uncertain and unsupported position among them all.

He'll support John. And the rest of the world will support Sam (and Dean's love as well, though he may not live in the same reality as Sam).

But there is no-one in Dean's 'side,' that limbo state pulled between the extremes of his father and Sam. :(
(no subject) - random_serious on October 3rd, 2006 08:55 am (UTC) (Expand)
belleimani on October 3rd, 2006 02:25 am (UTC)
So brutal, they're so close and yet so far from actually hearing, seeing, feeling what the others are going through.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on October 3rd, 2006 05:48 am (UTC)
they're so close and yet so far from actually hearing, seeing, feeling what the others are going through.
So true-- the deepest parts of each others' pain and worry and doubt are the things that none of them truly sees within the others.

Those desperate parts that need to be understood elude the understanding of the only people who might hope to really 'get it."

It's tragic, and yet I love Kripke for making it exactly so. *sigh*
(no subject) - belleimani on October 3rd, 2006 05:03 pm (UTC) (Expand)
iamstealthyoneiamstealthyone on October 3rd, 2006 03:52 am (UTC)
Lovely job here. The last lines in each drabble are so very well written.

His family hears apple-pie boredom. But what Sam’s asking for is a life that’s more than just looking to find the thing that will finally kill them.

Yeah, that really is what it comes down to, isn’t it? The longer they hunt, the more likely they’ll die, and Sam sure as heck doesn’t want that.

Do you need me? is the question every selfless act hopes to answer.

Do you love me? is the deeper translation of what it really means.


Oh, Dean. *cuddles him*

He hears things in his dreams that sound like destruction. He’s learned to discard them when the imminent end is his own. But when the anguish is his sons’, he cannot remain casual. He memorizes contexts, desperate to recognize the clues should they ever become real.

Ever the warrior.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on October 3rd, 2006 07:15 pm (UTC)
The longer they hunt, the more likely they’ll die, and Sam sure as heck doesn’t want that.
And he's seen so clearly by now that 1) They hunt to be hunting (whether it leads to The Demon or not) and 2) Their plan for quitting appears to be that they simply didn't survive one of the battles. :(

So glad you liked these-- all of them, in their different personalities for the different Winchesters. :)
(no subject) - iamstealthyone on October 3rd, 2006 07:21 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Destinadestina on October 3rd, 2006 06:10 am (UTC)
These are all wonderful, but this was the line that struck me hardest:

But what Sam’s asking for is a life that’s more than just looking to find the thing that will finally kill them.

Because, yes. So very true to his character, and captured so beautifully in this.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on October 3rd, 2006 07:18 pm (UTC)
So very true to his character,
And it's odd that he's the only one of them that sees so clearly where this path will lead them. Or perhaps he's just the only one of them who cares.

Thanks so much for your comments! *beams*
plutogirl10 on October 3rd, 2006 10:00 am (UTC)
See *points upwards* I told you wouldn't have issues finding something to write about : )

I loved these all. Sam's esp, because everyones alway so hard on him for wanting to leave, it doesn't come up that it's so his family can *live*

And Dean's, very emphathetic (is that how you spell that word?).

how to already know things with the smallest chance of being wrong

I get. I just do.

thanks!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on October 4th, 2006 04:58 pm (UTC)
Sam's esp, because everyones alway so hard on him for wanting to leave, it doesn't come up that it's so his family can *live*
Yes-- I think ideally that it wasn't Sam's plan to "leave" by himself. He wants his whole family out of that life, and when they refuse he opts for self-preservation. Can't blame him for that.

I get. I just do.
I think that John placed a heavy burden of expectations on his sons. And in previous drabbles, I sometimes speculate that John's parents did the same to him. :(

So glad you liked these. And yay-- actually got some for the prompt! :)
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on October 4th, 2006 04:59 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much, Dawnie. :)
Becky: SN virginewanspotter on October 4th, 2006 01:59 am (UTC)
Wow, these are really great. Short, but they pack a wallop.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on October 4th, 2006 05:02 pm (UTC)
Wow, these are really great. Short, but they pack a wallop.
Thank you so much!

That's actually the goal of drabbles-- to get all the feelings/mood/theme down to their barest essence and have a complete image or story to show for it.

Kind of an irresistible challenge, once you start writing them. ;)