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23 September 2006 @ 11:21 am
Supernatural Slash Fiction: If I Would You When?  
Title: If I Would You When?
Author: HalfshellVenus
Pairing: Sam/Dean (Slash)
Rating: R
Summary: A swift storm of sensuality and second thoughts.
Author’s Notes: A trifecta! Written for 60_minute_fics (“Dreams”), for kaz2y5’s “The Great Outdoors” challenge, and most importantly… jetpants’ birthday. :D

x-x-x-x-x

Water mist. The air is heavy with it, a haze in the afternoon sun.

Secret or solace, it brushes their skin. Silk-wet touch over bodies no more separate than a hair’s-breadth second drifting past.

If I— but the answer is there. Dean’s mouth captures the thought before it is lost, his fingertips drawing the shape of Sam’s soul.

The wind is now is Forever and Yes, its soft embrace curling around the edges of where they meet. Dean is flush against him, hands gently holding Sam’s face. His kiss is love-pure ardor-bright passion, and Sam is helpless as the heat of it steals his breath. Down, down, sinking soaring lifting roaring he rides Dean’s mouth in a shockwave of Wait and There and Ohhhh…

His hands measure the moment, the hard-smooth muscle of shoulders and back that say Dean and Would you? and Mine. Sam pulls him up, closer, a slick-rub-slide of Yes and More and Please. The careful pierce and glide of Dean inside is orange-sky vivid and sweet.

Arching and angling, Sam’s hand wrapped around Dean’s hip, theirs is a rhythm of perfect, fluid trust. Dean rocks up and in, the two of them tangle-fire wrought-up and gasping in the dizzying swell of pressure-pleasure-promise. A cry escapes Sam’s throat, head thrown back into purple twilight freefall, and Dean’s moan pulls him back to mark their completion with tooth-sharp muffled ecstasy against Dean’s shoulder.

In lakeside quiet, waves lap against the rocks in time with their heartbeats. Dean is heavy perfection between Sam’s legs, against his chest, and his hair lifts feather-light against Sam’s neck under birdcall branches.

With darkness comes silence. But neither man moves toward the world from this cloudfall haven. Here, the future will find its tomorrow, and necessity lies buried underneath the blanket of Ever and Always.

Through the soft-black nighttime of muffled sounds, coldness seeps in like a summons from the unloved Present. Sam shifts under a too-thin threadbare sheet.

His eyes open to the light from the parking lot, and he can see that the bed beside him is empty.

He’s alone, with the rain and his dream-swirl thoughts. Because Dean still hasn’t come home from the bar-room down the road.



------ fin ------




 
 
 
i ate your carshrimp: JSquared Lovehayden_clone on September 23rd, 2006 06:47 pm (UTC)
*tear*

This is beautiful, but why, why must it be a dream?? *cries*

*thumbs up*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on September 23rd, 2006 06:52 pm (UTC)
This is beautiful, but why, why must it be a dream?? *cries*
Well, literally because of the challenge it was written for (wouldn't have come about otherwise!).

But I wish it were the reality and not the dream. And now, so does Sam. *Sigh*

Thank so much for reading. :)
do do dodead_antics on September 23rd, 2006 06:51 pm (UTC)
Aw, poor Sammy. Just a dream. :(


That was lovely, you described everything beautifully and its so well written. I enjoyed it.

Keep it up.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on September 23rd, 2006 06:53 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much! Sometimes those 60_minute_fic challenges just bring out all kinds of stories I didn't think I was going to write. :)
Destina: spn sam serious gorgeousdestina on September 23rd, 2006 07:04 pm (UTC)
Oh, such lovely lyrical dreaming, and such a sad awakening. But still, beautiful. :)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on September 23rd, 2006 08:26 pm (UTC)
Thank you, destina. :) It's hard to make Sam suffer so at the end, but it brings such a nice contrast to what he wishes down inside were actually happening.
Entendre? Make mine a double.: SN slashy brothers looking by marishnadeirdre_c on September 23rd, 2006 07:35 pm (UTC)
Lovely and sad. Thanks for sharing, hon!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on September 23rd, 2006 08:27 pm (UTC)
Oh, you're so welcome. Thank you, Deirdre! :)
Ladyhump: zoolandercherry87a on September 23rd, 2006 08:13 pm (UTC)
*sniffs* beautiful, poor Sammy it was only a dream poor him *patts him on the head*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on September 23rd, 2006 08:28 pm (UTC)
It's saddest of all when your dreams haunt you with what could be and what you want. :(
The Grammarian about whom your mother warned you.acostilow on September 23rd, 2006 09:19 pm (UTC)
Damn. Oh, damn, that's so beautiful and then it hurts.

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on September 23rd, 2006 11:14 pm (UTC)
Damn. Oh, damn, that's so beautiful and then it hurts.
I know, I know-- once in awhile, it has to go the wrong way. Especially when the first part is just a dream...
MF Luder: SPN lost w/o youmf_luder_xf on September 24th, 2006 12:30 am (UTC)
Oh. OH. Make them better!! Please? *whimpers*

Lovely, amazing, and poetic.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on September 28th, 2006 08:43 pm (UTC)
Oh, I wish I could, but sometimes the pain has to remain unresolved. :(

So glad you liked it, despite the "ouch" at the end. :)
(no subject) - mf_luder_xf on September 30th, 2006 04:32 am (UTC) (Expand)
Shainalady_shain on September 24th, 2006 12:53 am (UTC)
The whole thing is just lovely; I love the way that you paint an image - in the mind; in the heart - there's something about the way that your words flow that gets to me, so that your stories linger, like a fond memory.

Which sounds overdone and melodramatic, until you consider:

His hands measure the moment, the hard-smooth muscle of shoulders and back that say Dean and Would you? and Mine. Sam pulls him up, closer, a slick-rub-slide of Yes and More and Please. The careful pierce and glide of Dean inside is orange-sky vivid and sweet.

..and realise that communication and poetry are not always found solely in the spoken word.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on September 28th, 2006 08:46 pm (UTC)
there's something about the way that your words flow that gets to me, so that your stories linger, like a fond memory.
Ooh, I love this kind of compliment. This story, in particular, was written partly to and from the "subconscious." So if it gets down inside you and stays there, even below the level of analysis, then that's perfect. *is hopeful*

..and realise that communication and poetry are not always found solely in the spoken word.
Yes, yes-- there are things the mind understands that it would be hard-pressed to later explain. Communication can be tangible without being fully understood-- as I hope it is here. :)

Thank you, Shaina. :)
(no subject) - lady_shain on September 28th, 2006 11:34 pm (UTC) (Expand)
dc_longwing on September 24th, 2006 01:21 am (UTC)
So sensual, so poetic. And then the thump of realizing it's a dream. I kept re-reading each sentence before I moved onto the next one because imagery was so gorgeous and fresh.
Yowza!
Thanks,
DC
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on September 28th, 2006 08:47 pm (UTC)
I kept re-reading each sentence before I moved onto the next one because imagery was so gorgeous and fresh.
Ooh-- I love that it's worth letting evolve slowly into your mind, as if you're part of this wonderful scene that's unfolding.

So glad you liked it. Thank you, Dawn! :)
darkhavensdarkhavens on September 24th, 2006 01:51 am (UTC)
ouch. *huggles lonely Sam* So sad.

Thanks for answering the challenge! ;)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on September 28th, 2006 08:49 pm (UTC)
It does end sadly-- which is rare for me. But every once in awhile, the ending is not the happily-ever-after.

I'd write for all the challenges, if I could! I just don't always get my inspirations/deadlines to coincide with them. I'm glad this one came through. :D
Yumiko: The Yaoi Hunter: WINCEST! <3yumikoyoshihana on September 24th, 2006 01:59 am (UTC)
Oh my god, you write so beautifuly. This was GORGEOUS. the IMAGERY and the symbolism and the almost poetic flow of the whole thing made me shiver.
Through the soft-black nighttime of muffled sounds, coldness seeps in like a summons from the unloved Present. Sam shifts under a too-thin threadbare sheet.

His eyes open to the light from the parking lot, and he can see that the bed beside him is empty.

He’s alone, with the rain and his dream-swirl thoughts. Because Dean still hasn’t come home from the bar-room down the road.

That was just so beautiful right there. it made my heart clench with sorrow
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on September 28th, 2006 11:37 pm (UTC)
Oh, thank you so much! I love to use imagery in fics, and this one has a great deal of dreamlike almost-unreal aspects to it (as if the reader is dreaming along with Sam).

Your comments made my heart sing! Thank you again. :)
zenamydogzenamydog on September 24th, 2006 02:15 am (UTC)
*Crys and smashes a close by vase* NO NO NO, tell me it wasnt a dream!!!!!


Beautifully written!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on September 28th, 2006 11:41 pm (UTC)
Crys and smashes a close by vase* NO NO NO, tell me it wasnt a dream!!!!!
Oh, I SO empathize with that reaction!

Everything he wants, even if he never knew it before... Every now and then, I have to take the ending that is more reality than wishful thinking. :(
moveablehistory on September 24th, 2006 02:23 am (UTC)
You have this way with words... gah. I'm kind of speechless. Just, oh Sam!

Kronette: Silencekronette on September 24th, 2006 03:28 am (UTC)
A word I've always wanted to use for feedback on a story: Evocative. This was every inch, every word, every note, evocative.

the unloved Present.

That got me, right there.

This needs to be read slow, because I normally love to rush through stories, but to get the full effect, and to not miss the fleeting feelings between words, this must be read at a proper pace. Lovely.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on September 29th, 2006 12:03 am (UTC)
This was every inch, every word, every note, evocative.
Ohhhh... that is exactly what I was going for here.

and to not miss the fleeting feelings between words,
There's so much here that is to be felt rather than fully understood, if that makes sense. "Fleeting feelings" is a lovely description for it.

Thank you so much for your wonderful comments, kronette. They are so inspiring. ♥
(no subject) - kronette on September 29th, 2006 04:08 am (UTC) (Expand)
Are we back to hos over bros?lissa_bear on September 24th, 2006 04:41 am (UTC)
*sigh* So beautifully written.

My favorite bit, for some reason? With darkness comes silence. But neither man moves toward the world from this cloudfall haven
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on September 29th, 2006 12:05 am (UTC)
My favorite bit, for some reason? With darkness comes silence. But neither man moves toward the world from this cloudfall haven.
Oh, I'm so glad someone noticed that line. It's a description of a perfect, unreal place that will disappear if anyone so much as breathes.

So glad you liked this one. I've missed you. (VM has stolen you away):)
(no subject) - lissa_bear on September 29th, 2006 02:44 am (UTC) (Expand)