The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors (halfshellvenus) wrote,
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors


I was thinking today about how much I wished viagra lived closer, so I could go hiking with him—except that he's in Florida, on the other side of the country. *sigh* Then I realized that I hadn't hiked in the Sierras in eons, and briefly wondered if it was too late to try to fit that in this year before the snow season. Because it was what, October right now?


And this was after putting away the indoor Xmas decorations last night, and taking down and packing up most of the outdoor Xmas lights over the weekend! What a year, what a year...

The remaining outdoor lights are along the roofline and in one of the front-yard trees, and HalfshellHusband usually takes those down... but I might wind up having to do them, too. They're a pain because I am not tall, and can't always reach where I need to. Unlike the other household members, who are 4, 8, and 10 inches taller than me. :/ I also need to take a bucket out there and clean the mud off of all the extension cords (because we have no groundcover, so the cords all get dirty).

Getting them down is still easier than putting them up, though my real challenge over the past few years has been how to power the lights across the various dead spots in the front yard. There are a few places next to the house and in the front planter-bed where things consistently die, even when we re-plant them. Both of those areas are like this:

Plant 1: Hi. Still midgatory. Maybe next year.
Plant 2: *is ded*
Plant 3: *is ded*
Plant 4: Hi?
Plant 4: *kkkh* *k-k-k-k-k-kkkkkh!* *is ded*

I just realized that this year's dead-ee was a replacement we planted 15-20 years ago after its predecessor died, so not as pathetic as I'd thought. Still a pain, though.

I really enjoy Xmas lights, though other houses' holiday displays are hit-or-miss as more and more people switch over to LED lights. The neighbor across the street used to have dangling off-white icicle lights across the front of her house. Now, she just has a long Hell-strand of those sickly-gray "white" LED bulbs. They're like a ghoul beacon, there to draw in all of the doomed souls to feast on any large elves and stray reindeer that might happen to be nearby. :O

Inflatables are also increasingly popular, offering "holiday cheer with low effort," as our son puts it. You can guess where he gets his pragmatism from. ;) There's quite a variety of those. Near the bike path, there's a T-Rex in a Santa hat clutching a present in his tiny, useless claws, and also a bear and a penguin with a (???) dark red treat-sack shaped like a pumpkin. I could swear I've mentioned that one before, because I have a sneaking suspicion that it's probably made in China and created from a pattern that is only slightly modified from another pattern used to produce a ghost, a penguin, and an actual pumpkin as a Halloween decoration. :O

In our own neighborhood, we have Santas in airplanes, a Santa in army camo (whatever), too many Olafs, a couple of large chipmunks with vaguely munching mouths, a spinning snowglobe, a dachsund, and at least one Abominable Snowman. Most are out in people's yards, or occasionally on the roof. But once, while I was out walking in the dark, I spotted a porch display that featured a Santa, a regular-looking snowman, and a janky-ass snowman that looked like something a drunk put together in the dark. It was mystifying—why bother with the crappy second snowman?

Until I got closer, and saw that the janky snowman was actually an inflatable BB-8. And then I felt bad for thinking all of those pejorative thoughts about its lack of quality and attractiveness. Sorry, little droid-let. :O

Tags: me, random

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