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21 September 2006 @ 10:03 pm
Manners Are For Mortals: reluctant Picard/Q, PG  
Title: Manners Are For Mortals
Fandom: Star Trek, TNG
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Reluctant-Picard/Q
Rating: PG
Summary: Q is what he is and he does what he does. Relentlessly.
Author's Notes: Written for summercon, because I couldn't help myself. Yet another fandom I do not write...


x-x-x-x-x

These will do nicely, Picard thought, pulling on the gray fitted briefs.

“Oh, not the gray,” a voice protested behind him. “It’s so dull.”

Picard turned. “Q! Will you stop simply appearing in my bedchamber? It’s impolite!”

“Piffle. Polite. You mortals and your qualms about politeness. Gods do as they will.”

“You’re not a god,” Picard said, fastening his uniform and straightening out the placket. “Gods are mature, worthy beings. Not tempestuous, childlike creatures such as you.”

Q leaned back on the bed, crossing his legs. “Do you really know so little of gods? Read your own Earth history, Jean-Luc. The Greek gods were nothing like you describe. Jealous, unpredictable, untrustworthy, the whole lot of them,” he mused. “I must say, I did rather enjoy being Zeus. Though the swan thing might have been a bit much. Perhaps I drank too much ambrosia that day…”

Picard put on his uniform boots as he resisted the urge to take that particular bait. “What do you want, Q?”

“Dear Jean-Luc, must we stand on ceremony?”

“Quite,” Picard replied.

“Oh very well,” Q pouted. “If you must know. The Continuum has sent me to apologize for turning your little starship into an intergalactic zoo during my last visit. Though I don’t know why it’s necessary. I thought Lieutenant Woof was rather fetching as a Tirellian Arglibeast. But they insist. So there you have it: my apologies.” Q held out his hand.

“Duly noted,” Picard said, waving the hand away.

“I could come back and apologize properly later, with chocolates and silk pajamas.”

Picard stiffened. “That won’t be necessary,” he said, “Really. Don’t trouble yourself.”

“Party pooper. You must learn to appreciate the finer things, Jean-Luc.”

“I’ll make a note of it. However, I’m due on the bridge just now.”

“All right, fine. I’ll be going then. Oh, and Jean-Luc?” Q added carelessly. “I much prefer the red thong.” *snap*

“Q!” Picard bellowed. Damn the impertinence of these undergarments!

Picard commed the bridge in resignation. “I’ve been delayed, Number One. Be there shortly. Picard out.”

He removed the boots and the uniform, and went back to the beginning again…


------ fin ------

 
 
 
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Venushalfshellvenus on September 22nd, 2006 04:44 pm (UTC)
For a fandom you do not right you've got the voices down.
Hee! I actually do a lot of thinking and revising on that for all fandoms, because getting the voices "right" is of utmost importance to me.

So I replay the lines in my head with the actor's voices, until they sound right and no longer awkward.

John DeLancie vs. Patrick Steward ==> a bitchfest for the ages. ;)
Entendre? Make mine a double.: ST Spock bitch pleasedeirdre_c on September 22nd, 2006 01:23 pm (UTC)
Fabulous! ♥
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Venushalfshellvenus on September 22nd, 2006 04:45 pm (UTC)
Hee! Thank you. :D Darn that summercon... 3 fics in one week, and no-one's reading them over in the comm anyway.

For this one, I thought, "Meh. Someone'll write that." And by the end of yesterday I started to hear the character's voices, and when the prompt was still unclaimed... into the void!
The Grammarian about whom your mother warned you.acostilow on September 23rd, 2006 11:28 pm (UTC)
*giggles helplessly*

I heart Q.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Venushalfshellvenus on September 25th, 2006 05:56 am (UTC)
I do too, mainly for what he sets off in Picard. Q is about as aggravating as one can get, especially because he's hard to punish! Damn those omnipotent beings! ;)
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Random Fandomhalfshellvenus on September 27th, 2008 08:20 pm (UTC)
A red thong, eh? *naughty grin*
I think I'd pay money to see Picard in a red thong. He's the right man for that job, if only he didn't find it so horrifying!

They are SO adorable together. <3 I love their slashy bickerings!
Me too-- I love how perfectly engineered each of them is to just bother the other. And that Q is highly persistent. ;)

Thanks so much for reading!
Livin' La Vida Dorka: Haz No Iconzwere_lemur on October 6th, 2008 04:45 pm (UTC)
LMAO

And I'm sure Q is hanging around to enjoy the show ...

(Of course, if he wanted to, he could pop in any ole time to watch his own private striptease!Picard, complete with shower.)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Random Fandomhalfshellvenus on October 6th, 2008 09:26 pm (UTC)
he could pop in any ole time to watch his own private striptease!Picard, complete with shower.

That would be possibly one of the most irritating things about having an all-powerful being take an unwanted interest in you. Privacy and respect becoem distant concepts all too soon!

Thank goodness the Continuum exerts some control over Q. Though usually after the fact. :0
Sayra: LOLaryas_zehral on January 2nd, 2009 07:18 am (UTC)
*giggle*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Random Fandomhalfshellvenus on January 12th, 2009 04:55 pm (UTC)
Q is SUCH fun to write, but especially when he's annoying Picard. Which is any time the two of them are in the same room. :0
kamicountd on February 13th, 2009 07:48 pm (UTC)
Aw man.
Aw man, way too short! Very good though. Characters are perfect.I hope you keep writing more Picard/Q, there is never enough.

KCD
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Random Fandomhalfshellvenus on February 14th, 2009 12:33 am (UTC)
Re: Aw man.
:D I'd write them longer if I had more ideas, but sadly this is about my limit in this fandom. Just enough for the occasional dabbling, and not much more.

Hope it was worthile, nonetheless! :D
wemblee: picard/qwemblee on March 20th, 2011 08:25 pm (UTC)
Crazy-late comment, but I went on a Picard/Q binge today -- I may have found this via Delicious? Or alara_r's recs? I don't remember -- anyway, this is adorable and awesome. RED THONG. Perfect, perfect Q voice. And Picard is so wonderfully stuffy. Also, I love that you made up extra-canonical Q shenanigans; so few writers do this. Good times. :D
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Random Fandomhalfshellvenus on March 21st, 2011 06:00 am (UTC)
This is such interesting feedback, because I never thought much about how Q tends to be written by other authors. This is a fandom I don't really write in, and I had to take a moment to remember how I could possibly have written two Picard/Q ficlets over the years.

I loved their interaction on the show, partly because Picard DOES tend to be stuffy and Q is so very adept at pushing his buttons. They were made to torment each other!

I'm so glad you enjoyed this, and thanks so much for taking the time to leave a comment. :)