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20 September 2006 @ 02:53 pm
Prison Break Slash Fanfiction: Someone Else's  
Title: Someone Else’s
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Lincoln/Michael (Slash)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Sometimes he feels like his whole life with Lincoln has been spent waiting.
SPOILERS: Season 2, episodes 1-3.
Author’s Notes: Written for summercon (Michael/anybody) and for fanfic100 where I have the Slash pairing of Lincoln/Michael (for prompt #42, “Triangle). This is also the expansion of the long-ago “Stories I Never Wrote You” prompt and ficlet of the same name.

x-x-x-x-x

Sometimes Michael feels like his whole life with Lincoln has been spent waiting.

Waiting for Lincoln to come home in high school (and worrying when he didn’t). Waiting for Lincoln to straighten up and sober up, and live toward a goal instead of the weak promise of the next twenty-four hours.

Waiting for everyone else standing between him and Lincoln to just clear out of the fucking way so he could have more than two minutes where his brother belongs only to him.

There has been a steady, life-long parade of something or someone always dragging Lincoln’s attention away. Girls, booze, girls, drugs, girls, prison, girls, girls. It’s a three-cornered relationship where something else is always winning. For awhile it was LJ, and Michael felt like a jerk being jealous of a baby. But Lincoln moved out to live with Lisa and be LJ’s father, and then never came back home after he with Lisa were through. So maybe Michael’s allowed some bitterness over that, even though it’s awfully petty.

Women have been hanging all over Lincoln as long as Michael can remember, and that never made it any easier to watch. It’s so wrong he would never begin to say it, but each kiss Lincoln gave away always felt like betrayal. Every slow slide of Lincoln’s hands along some girl’s body was a torturous reminder of what Michael would never have, could never ask for… should not even want. He hates this obsession he has with Lincoln, hates that he just can’t let it go. It’s a soul-deep curse that will haunt him the rest of his life.

Veronica got in Michael’s way, over and over. She was there in High School and for some time after, and again in secret when Lincoln was living with Lisa. She just wouldn’t stay gone, and Lincoln kept on letting it happen. Michael was always this third wheel around the two of them, friends with Veronica but jealous of her too. Pretty soon there was no Lincoln-and-Michael that wasn’t really Lincoln/Veronica-and-Michael. She wormed her way into their family and pushed Michael out to the edges, and there was absolutely nothing he could do to stop it no matter how he tried.

She was headed there again near the end, Michael is convinced of it. Coming to see Lincoln on his execution day, declaring her love for him to the world when she’d lost any right to claim him.

She would have found her way into the escape plan, and taken Lincoln for herself all over again.

But she’s gone now, a victim of the conspiracy that targeted Lincoln. She must have stumbled onto something big. They’ll never know what it was.

Michael’s genuinely sorry-- she was his friend, despite both of them wanting the same thing.

But feeling bad isn’t the same as having regrets.

Lying here on the ground with Lincoln curled around him against the cold, Michael can’t help thinking he might finally have the chance that he’s always wanted.


-------- fin --------



 
 
 
I'm the girl that you just won't admit you adore.tabularassa on September 21st, 2006 04:24 pm (UTC)
*sigh*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB slashhalfshellvenus on September 22nd, 2006 05:44 pm (UTC)
It's a little dark, isn't it? But you can see how a lifetime of hopelessness over this one thing might drive a person to finally become a little ruthless.
I'm the girl that you just won't admit you adore.tabularassa on September 23rd, 2006 06:20 am (UTC)
Yes, I completely understand that.
cranberry117cranberry117 on September 21st, 2006 04:43 pm (UTC)
Wow. That ending. Just wow. I find this view of Michael very intriguing.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB slashhalfshellvenus on September 22nd, 2006 05:45 pm (UTC)
That ending. Just wow. I find this view of Michael very intriguing.
There's a certain fierceness to him, isn't there? A little bit of an edge that isn't entirely altruistic.

When I thought about writing this ages ago, I'd intended it to be more despairing and not so ruthless. But it became something else in the translation somehow...
cranberry117cranberry117 on September 23rd, 2006 02:28 am (UTC)
When I thought about writing this ages ago, I'd intended it to be more despairing and not so ruthless. But it became something else in the translation somehow...
It totally works though. Canon Michael is such a mystery as far as his motivations go. The writers came up with that whole money thing as a potential influence, but it seems like there must be more under the surface.

It's nice to see the brothers together, and I wish we could see more of that on the show. They seem to be having a little too much for two convicts on the run.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB Final Hughalfshellvenus on September 23rd, 2006 06:19 am (UTC)
but it seems like there must be more under the surface.
I sure hope so, but sometimes it looks as if they are prone to opting for the easy way out. I.e., character depth vs. running amok-- Hmmm...which will win? ;)

and I wish we could see more of that on the show.
I'd like to see more of their personalities in tandem (and some hints of their past dynamic) in addition to strategy bickering and such like we're seeing now.
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB slashhalfshellvenus on September 22nd, 2006 05:51 pm (UTC)
I loved this, especially the ending. I loved this view of Michael, it's something I haven't really seen before.
Other than "Payback," I just don't tend to write Michael as anything dark.

But he IS kind of dark here-- frustrated and fed up, and now at the point now where a sense of opportunism outweighs his regrets.

Not my usual Michael. ;) But not so far off that I can't see him harboring these thoughts. There's a lot going on inside him that he'll never tell anyone until he has to.

Thanks for the comments! :)
I'm for wine and the embrace of questionable women: lincmissyjack on September 22nd, 2006 10:37 pm (UTC)
This owrks in so well with the canon of Michael's "Veronica, meh" (as you dubbed it!) reaction to her death.

Love this line: But feeling bad isn’t the same as having regrets.

And there is a darkness in Michael - I hope we see more of it.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: MichaelInBarshalfshellvenus on September 23rd, 2006 04:38 am (UTC)
This owrks in so well with the canon of Michael's "Veronica, meh" (as you dubbed it!) reaction to her death.
It does. I think that's what changed the tone of this story from what I thought it was going to be to what it became instead. It just wasn't the reaction I expected to her death.

And there is a darkness in Michael - I hope we see more of it.
Oh, better darkness than either Low-Latent-blah, or "Whoo! I'm nuts!" (not that I'm that last one's going to happen, just that it better not).
I'm for wine and the embrace of questionable women: lincmissyjack on September 23rd, 2006 04:45 am (UTC)
For the moment I'm going to explain Michael's behaviour by the fact that he is distracted by Linc's hotness!

BTW I am so loving the charming evolness of Kellerman ;)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: DominicSexyhalfshellvenus on September 23rd, 2006 06:20 am (UTC)
For the moment I'm going to explain Michael's behaviour by the fact that he is distracted by Linc's hotness!
Well, that certainly works for me. As you might have guessed. ;)

BTW I am so loving the charming evolness of Kellerman ;)
Me too. I feel like I shouldn't (just as I shouldn't enjoy his chuckling sociopath routine), but I can't help it. The actor just sells it. ;)
I'm for wine and the embrace of questionable women: crack piemissyjack on September 23rd, 2006 06:24 am (UTC)
It's funny, Linc didn't do much for me last season *was distracted by other pretty* but now? with the chest and the smarts? *am in love*

And Kellerman? I love when a minor character just shines becuase the actor and the writers find some synergy.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Bladehalfshellvenus on September 23rd, 2006 06:28 am (UTC)
It's funny, Linc didn't do much for me last season *was distracted by other pretty* but now? with the chest and the smarts? *am in love*
The attraction for me was based on Dominic's ManSex aura and honestly also knowing how he was capable of looking (hellooo "John Doe.") THIS season, he actually looks as hot as he always should have-- he has hair, which brings out those gorgeous eyes, and that dark stubble brings out that fatally attractive mouth, and then... The Shirt. (should have its own billing in the credits). Shirt Of Reveal vs. Jumpsuit Of Lumpy. It's just no contest. G.U.H. (lookit the icon)

I love when a minor character just shines becuase the actor and the writers find some synergy.
Something about his whole loony approach to this role really works for me. Partly because of the light surface touch and the way you can see the results of the wheels turning so quickly underneath.
I'm for wine and the embrace of questionable women: lincmissyjack on September 23rd, 2006 06:37 am (UTC)
We didn't get John Doe in Australia, so I only knew of Dom from Blade3 *g*
He had minor roles in some Aussie TV shows in the mid-90s - I would kill to get my hands on those!

and "Shirt of Reveal" will have a place in the fangirl Hall of Fame!
fabella: on a swing - red_candleswistful_fever on September 23rd, 2006 04:05 am (UTC)
So, so good. I feel for Michael here, enduring that sort of dirty longing that he KNOWS wouldn't be welcomed. The story tastes, honest, as well. I think Lincoln spends so much time looking elsewhere, looking for escapes, that he wouldn't turn to Michael unless he was forced to. One sorta has to wonder if he spends so much time looking away because he's afraid to see something.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB Final Hughalfshellvenus on September 23rd, 2006 06:24 am (UTC)
So, so good. I feel for Michael here, enduring that sort of dirty longing that he KNOWS wouldn't be welcomed.
Can you imagine the pain of that-- of not being able to get out from under that feeling, in the worst unrequited-love scenario of all time?

I think Lincoln spends so much time looking elsewhere, looking for escapes, that he wouldn't turn to Michael unless he was forced to.
This part I like to pretend isn't always true, but I agree with you. I think Lincoln has always had an eye out for opportunity, and opportunity knows how to find him (he's a walking billboard for sex).

One sorta has to wonder if he spends so much time looking away because he's afraid to see something.
An interesting thought. I think he alternates also between feeling that Michael should "divorce" himself from Lincoln (and every disaster he brings with him) and yet also fearing that Michael may always need him too much, for whatever reason.

Lovely comments, BTW. So much to think about! :)
The Grammarian about whom your mother warned you.acostilow on September 23rd, 2006 11:30 pm (UTC)
Wow. That's deep, that is.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB slashhalfshellvenus on September 25th, 2006 10:06 pm (UTC)
It's definitely a different kind of angst than Sam/Dean, isn't it? Michael is more like the "Sam" here, brother to an indiscriminant sex-magnet, but for SPN it's Dean who seems to love Sam more. :(

And there was nothing for Michael to do growing up except watch anybody and everybody come between them (no matter how fleeting or "worthless" those distractions might be).
poisontaster on September 24th, 2006 12:55 am (UTC)
This resonated with me very strongly for Michael's character; for as much softness and kindess are in him, he's very smart, very driven and very ruthless when he has to be and I think that's often overlooked in a lot of fic about him. Michael, as I see him, does things for more than one reasons; a lot of times he'll DO the right thing, but he ALSO does it because he's aware it buys him goodwill or tolerance, etc. I really liked the way this explored that part of him.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: MichaelInBarshalfshellvenus on September 25th, 2006 10:11 pm (UTC)
he's very smart, very driven and very ruthless
Isn't he, though. Those scenes with Haywire (where Michael bullied him into going off his meds) really stick out in my mind. And then there's the whole aspect of his rescue attempt-- just thinking it up and carrying it forward when no-one else would ever have done that-- and the casualties in its wake that he tries not to think about too much.

Michael, as I see him, does things for more than one reasons; a lot of times he'll DO the right thing, but he ALSO does it because he's aware it buys him goodwill or tolerance, etc.
I agree entirely. You might even say that, sensitive as he's said to be, this is where the pragmatic side to him comes out that is almost guaranteed to be part of an engineer's personality. The analytical/find-a-solution/best-solution/take-what-you-can method of thinking and problem-solving inevitably leads to this behavior. It would be hard to imagine Michael passing up this particular opportunity...

I always enjoy hearing your thoughts on these characters-- they stretch my insights and opinions on them, and that's all to the good. :)
poisontaster on September 25th, 2006 10:15 pm (UTC)
I always enjoy hearing your thoughts on these characters-- they stretch my insights and opinions on them
I agree. Well, except substitute me for you. Er...you get what I mean, right? Anyway, I think it IS very helpful to hear how other people see a character because it's interesting for it's own sake, especially if your visions diverge greatly and I find it very helpful for articulating what *I* think about that character in a more concrete way.
aeroport_artaeroport_art on September 24th, 2006 04:53 am (UTC)
Oh, I like this one. Longing!Michael is my favorite characterization of him!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB Final Hughalfshellvenus on September 25th, 2006 10:12 pm (UTC)
Oh, I like this one. Longing!Michael is my favorite characterization of him!
:) Mine too, though I do try to give him some different angles from time-to-time. This one has longing combined with ruthlessness, and that's definitely slightly different for me. :)
mooyoo: Julia&Elissa did aquatic M/L!mooyoo on September 25th, 2006 07:46 pm (UTC)
I really like this in particular because of, like missjack said, how well it fits with Michael's reaction to Veronica's death (and his similarly "meh" reaction to the loss of LJ, who you could also probably consider Michael's competition for Lincoln's affection). I like this picture of Michael a lot, as someone who cares about Veronica and LJ and such and doesn't want to be jealous of either, but loves Lincoln even more and can't stop himself from hating their places in his life.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: M/L postcoital crawdadshalfshellvenus on September 25th, 2006 10:16 pm (UTC)
(and his similarly "meh" reaction to the loss of LJ, who you could also probably consider Michael's competition for Lincoln's affection).
It's so odd that I didn't intend to take that tone with this idea back when I wrote the little ficlet for lissa_bear's prompt. But given where canon has pushed the characters, this is the tone that came out instead. It's driven by that lack of reaction to losing Veronica, and to the fact that LJ is clearly expendable to Michael in his larger scheme (not that I blame him, but still...).

and doesn't want to be jealous of either, but loves Lincoln even more and can't stop himself from hating their places in his life.
This description of the dynamic is perfect. He hates the degree of their importance to Lincoln, and probably also hates himself a little for even thinking that.

Loved your thoughts on this one. And the icon too-- because the crawdad L/M stuff will just never stop being funny/perfect to me). :)
tyrical: AP_aJolietyrical on December 21st, 2006 09:00 pm (UTC)
I must agree that it sucks always being close to what you want but never really able to have it. In a way life just kinda passes you by in someways. But for the truly devoted you always get a shot.

Looks like Michael's turn just came up.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB slashhalfshellvenus on January 11th, 2007 07:08 am (UTC)
I must agree that it sucks always being close to what you want but never really able to have it. In a way life just kinda passes you by in someways.
Oh, having your heart's desire staring you in the face is just so hard, and you're absolutely right-- it keeps you from living what you can because you're so fixated on the remotest possibility of hope.

Michael's got a piece of what he wants now, and who can say if in the end he'll get more, at least for awhile?
etherealflaimetherealflaim on February 17th, 2008 08:15 am (UTC)
I love how Michael is so coldly analytical. It reminds me a lot of the guy in my mirror. Especially how it sometimes gets him in trouble, and more often than not drives him to painful and burdening conclusions.

But feeling bad isn’t the same as having regrets.
It's also interesting that Michael would say this... I think that rings true with everything he's done so far in the show. I personally try to live by the principle that you should never regret something you've done and never do anything you'll regret. I think that Michael tries to do this (and succeeds to a point in this fic), but I don't think he's been too successful. His problems, however, are far greater in degree than mine. I really feel for him, especially when his tough decisions--even what to feel about what has happened--are brought out so strongly in a fic like this.
~EF