The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors (halfshellvenus) wrote,
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
halfshellvenus

LJ Idol Season 11: "Unlike Any Dream"

Unlike Any Dream
idol season 11 | week four
Impossible

x-x-x-x-x

When you are young,
in your innocence
you dream your dreams
of all you've been told
you will never do.
You'll take to the air,
explore other planets,
and become the biggest,
best, and strongest
of everything
that ever was.
You are absolutely certain.

You never imagine
the impossible things
that being an adult
will make you grateful for
instead:
that your father,
so afraid of dying,
grew somehow ready,
and slipped away
unknowing
and unafraid
when it finally happened.
This is your miracle.

Or that the old friend,
lost too soon
to dementia,
is finally freed
by death
at last, after
the remembering
became more painful
than the forgotten.

That the young man,
so smart, so funny,
so broken and tormented
by the war
he brought home with him…
that his sudden death
was a tragedy of biology
and not the suicide
it could have been.

He was not so desperate
(your thoughts whisper)
that he did that to his family,
or lost hope in himself.

Who,
you would have wondered,
would ever want
such terrible things?

But they matter,
underneath
the heartbreak
and regrets.

You are so impossibly,
pathetically
grateful
for how deeply
they all matter.


--/--

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Tags: my_fic, original_non_fiction, poem, real lj idol
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