lj idol | season 11 | week 0
Hi, I'm HalfshellVenus, and I am probably a person. Probably.1
I may or may not live in a house in one of the scorchier California cities, or I may only live inside your computer.2 Nothing is certain!
Except that there will be stories.3 Funny stories, sad stories, weird stories,4 and possibly even the kind of thing I choose to call 'non-fiction.' You can never be sure what I'll do. An Idol topic might inspire genius,5 or it might force me into a place of desperation that results in crack6 based on the most literal interpretation of the prompt. Possibly both.
In addition to concocting stories, I may talk about other things happening in my 'life.' Work, family,7 philosophy, and hobbies8 are common subjects. I probably read books—or I have a bot9 that does it for me. I either ride my bike a lot, or I have an intelligent word-generating algorithm10 that runs on top of data stolen from Strava updates. What is the nature of reality?11
My (programming? temperament?) causes me to enjoy kindness and reasonable discussion.12 New friends are always welcome and appreciated.13
Thanks for stopping by!
1. Offer void where prohibited. Not sold in any stores.
2. In which case, watch out!
3. Prerecorded for this time zone.
4. Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse. Keep away from open flames.
5. For a limited time only. Allow four to six weeks for delivery.
6. Use only in a well-ventilated area.
7. Action figures sold separately.
8. At participating locations only.
9. Batteries not included.
10. Some assembly required.
11. Apply only to affected area. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate.
12. No substitutions allowed. Driver does not carry cash.
13. You will be assimilated.