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23 September 2017 @ 12:29 am
I'm back home again, after driving our son down to UCLA for his move-in. It's a long drive—6.5 hours or so—but practically brief compared to the 10-11 hour (or 12 hour) trips to San Diego to take our daughter to school. It's a much more manageable distance.

The weeks leading up to this were tough, but the trip and separation itself a little less so, mainly because he was actually ready to be going. Well, emotionally, anyway. I still wound up packing most of his stuff, because neither of our children inherited my godlike Tetris skills.

Originally, we'd planned for both parents to drive south for the journey, but HalfshellHusband's broken hip keeps him from going anywhere. That was hard on him, having to stay behind again and say goodbye so abruptly. We went through this with our daughter too, but that was mainly because she'd packed too much stuff to fit a third person in the car!

So now I'm back, in the empty nest, and it is strange and likely to feel stranger over time, at least for awhile. HalfshellHusband saw the orthopedic surgeon a week ago, and while the pieces of bone have moved a little (PIECES, not just a crack as I'd originally hoped), the current thinking is still that surgery might possibly be avoided. Given HSH's tendency to overdue, I'm not so sure. He's supposed to keep weight off of that leg, but I catch him free-wheeling around without his walker or even the cane—or trying to make dinner on the sly because it's "not that hard," even though standing up for long periods is forbidden. This is usually followed by a long, sleepless night due to pain. :( I'm really dreading trying to juggle all of those chores and responsibilities while also having to nag HSH to stop helping when he shouldn't. Give me strength...

Other news... Work=grief, and I have no idea when/if I'll be able to get away for a few days to visit my mother. We've watched a couple of movies (The Girl On The Train was much twistier than I had expected), I've read some books, I've listened to more Chris Cornell (because I'm already feeling sad, and the mood aligns), and now a future of tackling the in-home chaos awaits me... And to think, Fall is usually my favorite season. \o?

riverotter1951riverotter1951 on September 23rd, 2017 02:01 pm (UTC)
Consider my suggestion of hiring a cleaning service weekly or every two weeks. It is much easier to keep up once the cleaning is done then to have to do it on a daily basis.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on September 24th, 2017 07:32 am (UTC)
Yes-- we're planning to do that, at least during the recovery. But first, the interview process. The first weekend after the fall, I spent a lot of time getting the bathroom from "shockingly dirty" to "eh." It had been possibly a year since it was cleaned, due to little use and my husband not being able to get up the stairs. :(
riverotter1951riverotter1951 on September 24th, 2017 01:58 pm (UTC)
I use a cleaning service called Merry Maids.
bleodsweanbleodswean on September 23rd, 2017 02:16 pm (UTC)
That's a lot going on, K. I hope you can find some time to center yourself and go into Autumn fully charged. Will both kids be home for Thanksgiving? I'm sending out crazy positive vibes for G and his return to full capacity!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on September 25th, 2017 06:29 am (UTC)
The kids should be home for Thanksgiving (which presently feels a LONG way away). There will be negotiating about whether they have to make the trip together via car, since their political views are in context and neither of them has the self control to just stop talking about that when the other is around. Because that would be too easy... :O
cindy: spn - metallicar (by mara_sho)tsuki_no_bara on September 23rd, 2017 04:34 pm (UTC)
allow me to high-five you from one tetris packer to another. :D sucks when you're the only one who can do it, tho. a little help is always nice!

i guess you can't tie hsh to a chair to keep him from getting up and doing shit he shouldn't be doing.... or tie him to the walker or something. good luck not going nuts, and i too hope you can find some time for yourself to relax and be able to enjoy the season.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on September 25th, 2017 07:23 am (UTC)
Haha-- I did not know you were also a super-packer! My husband calls those "Jenga skills," but that would be more about unpacking. It's really Tetris, all the way.

Getting our son to stop playing with his phone during the packing up was hard enough, but when it came time to UNpack... he was fixated on organizing his desk, while we had bedding, clothes, and three bins of stuff blocking half the room. I kept having to tell him, "That desk is the last thing you need to worry about-- you won't be using it for almost a week!" Argh. It does not come naturally to him.

Our daughter is at least super-organized, but she also wants to take half her room with her and has no real concept of the difference between necessities (or paring down) and sizeable amounts of decorative crap to prettify her room. It's all crucial in her book.o_O