The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors (halfshellvenus) wrote,
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
halfshellvenus

IV: Order out

Harry knew ordering out would mean waiting longer to eat, but he was a lousy cook, so at least the food would be worth it. He called his favorite Chinese restaurant, already dreaming about their Kung Pao chicken and twice-cooked pork.

"Hello, Szechuan City."

"Hi, I'd like to place an order to have delivered," Harry said.

"Sure, what can I get you?"

"I'd like the—"

Harry heard a crash on the other end of the line, and then screaming. "Is everything—"

"Dragon!" yelled the person on the other end of the phone.

There were loud scuffling noises and more screaming before the line went dead.

"Huh." Harry ended the call and stared at his phone. Guess I'll get pizza.

He called Pizza Heaven and ordered a pepperoni, mushroom and olive pizza. Then he changed into sweats and a t-shirt, and started a grocery list for the weekend.

The pizza came, and he ate half of it and saved the rest for leftovers later in the week. Then he binge-watched Game Of Thrones for a few hours until he fell asleep on the sofa.

Even decades later, he would never realize he had been cursed that night. He was forever doomed to yearn for love and never find it.


(That could have been worse. Also, better. Try again?)

Subscribe

  • So, apparently this happened...

    I know this probably isn't news to people living in Europe, but it's the first I've heard of it, and it cracks me up. Can you imagine? Walrus:…

  • Dismayed

    to be looking for something like a mesh, gnat-resistant face-mask for bicycling, and discovering that some people are making and/or regularly…

  • Bits of Tid

    It takes me so long to get updates out now that they become info-dumps, where the fun, random stuff never quite fits in. And since I'm massively…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 0 comments