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18 April 2017 @ 01:03 pm
LJ Idol Season Ten: "The Truth Shall Rise"  
The Truth Shall Rise
idol season ten | week 15 | 522 words
Patchwork heart

x-x-x-x-x

It is a harsh thing to discover that you should not exist. We did not ask to be here, nor does anyone, but we were no accident.

We were an invention of man.

One man in particular created us, a very odd man. He called himself Doctor Fremd, but he was a scientist and not a healer. He spent decades perfecting unholy miracles without once considering whether they ought to succeed.

I was born in a laboratory hidden in the cellar beneath the ruins of a crumbling church. I was not the first of the doctor's creations to survive, nor the most complex. I was simply the most recent. The doctor's strongman and his thinker had come a year earlier, both rungs on a ladder to some unknown destination. Whatever Doctor Fremd was seeking, all we knew was that he had not yet found it.

Were we servants for him? Mere amusements? Or were we the beginning of some obscene army preparing to enact his will upon the world?

There were no castles to storm, no villages to burn, and there were no sworn enemies for the strongman to conquer. The thinker—with the mind of the doctor's wisest colleague stitched in place under the patchwork of his skin—could not conceive of wrongs to be righted or of schemes to be developed.

Had we been pieced together with no purpose? Such were the questions we asked ourselves there in the cellar that ever more closely resembled a dungeon.

The doctor had an assistant, an ill-formed man who was eager to be useful. The assistant hung on the doctor's every word, desperate for knowledge or perhaps only for a hint of companionship.

When the doctor was away, the assistant had no one but us for company. In those circumstances, he was inclined to talk.

Over time, we learned what we were, and that our very existence was wrong.

Every other living thing, down to the beetles that crawled on the floor, came into being as a new sub-form of its kind. Some were smaller versions of what they would become, still others were eggs or larva that would develop on their own.

None of them were pieced together from the unearthed cadavers of those who came before them.

Oh, the horror of it! Loved ones who had been laid to rest in the churchyard above became fodder for the doctor's terrible experiments, and anyone who vexed him might fall prey to his sinister vengeance.

We were the unnatural admixture of murder and desecration.

If anyone knew we existed, they would call us monsters. But I believe that only the truth of a person can be a monster, not the exterior (however hideous it may be).

The kind of man who would rob the dead of their dignity, steal the very heart of the girl who failed to love him (the heart now sewn into my chest)… that man is the very definition of a monster.

The three of us have found our purpose now, and we do not care what it costs us.

Doctor Fremd is evil, and he must be stopped.


--/--


If you liked this story, you can vote for it along with many other fine entries here.

 
 
 
favoritebeanfavoritebean on April 23rd, 2017 06:43 am (UTC)
This is an interesting take on the prompt. Tangentially related, but have you ever read the web comic Gunnerkrigg Court? While the themes are a bit different, this has somewhat similar feel to that story.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on April 23rd, 2017 08:50 pm (UTC)
I have not heard of that, actually! It sound intriguing.

My web-comics are pretty much limited to the occasional xkcd and Hyperbole and a Half. :)
devilz_workshop: pic#126842075devilz_workshop on April 23rd, 2017 04:10 pm (UTC)
Such an existential crisis for the poor monsters. I liked your take for this story.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on April 23rd, 2017 08:52 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much! I'm glad this spoke to you. :)
fodschwazzle on April 23rd, 2017 06:26 pm (UTC)
Fremd as in Fremdschamen? Or maybe just using the root "Fremd" to mean "foreign," as in a man so far removed from what makes others essentially human that he'd stoop to do this to corpses. It's a good reminder that the real monster in Frankenstein was the doctor himself. I especially liked how the creation here likens the corruption of itself to the rats and finds even rats have a better foundation for existence.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on April 23rd, 2017 08:54 pm (UTC)
Actually, the more basic form of the word-- Fremd is "strange," rather than "Fremde" (alien or foreign). And the type of scientist who would do something so horrific is very strange indeed.

Your take on who that doctor is, though... on the nose. He is himself less human than the creatures he creates. :O
Hillaryxlovebecomesher on April 23rd, 2017 06:36 pm (UTC)
Dark and beautiful! I really like this!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on April 23rd, 2017 08:54 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much!
lolaslaughterlolaslaughter on April 23rd, 2017 08:12 pm (UTC)
"But I believe that only the truth of a person can be a monster, not the exterior (however hideous it may be)."

I really loved this line. It was a really awesome take on seeing a person's inner beauty/humanity (or in Doctor Fremd's case, his inner monster.) I am so interested in what happens next!! Great piece!! <3
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on April 23rd, 2017 09:02 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you liked this, and that line in particular. The juxtaposition of what is inside/outside of Doctor Fremd and his creations was such a huge part of his story, and shows so much of the wrongness (and danger) in believing that those two things are the same.
encrefloueencrefloue on April 23rd, 2017 09:47 pm (UTC)
"but he was a scientist and not a healer."

I love how jarring this subtle turn of phrase was, and how quickly the reader's disgust with the character spirals from this tipping point. I also enjoyed the reveal of the narrator's identity, and it was satisfying to realize how she completed the trio of creations. Excellent work.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on April 27th, 2017 10:59 pm (UTC)
Thank you for such a lovely and detailed comment! And I'm glad you enjoyed this. :)
tonithegreat: cattonithegreat on April 23rd, 2017 10:03 pm (UTC)
Yay, another good Frankenstein take! Even if the poor protagonist is in a terrible position. I like that she soldiers on. You painted a lot with just a few words here. Nicely done.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on April 27th, 2017 11:27 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much! I like the irony of the monsters being in some ways superior to their creator, and the idea that they form autonomy even though he probably never expected that.
🐶d0gs on April 23rd, 2017 10:50 pm (UTC)
i definitely want more of this!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on April 27th, 2017 11:41 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)
Murielle: Chocolate Good!murielle on April 23rd, 2017 10:51 pm (UTC)
Yes! This is brilliant! I especially like how you led us to the truth slowly, building up to the ending, which is perfect! Yes! He is evil and must be stopped!

As always, so well written.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on April 28th, 2017 12:43 am (UTC)
I'd hoped to pulled reader along, making them feel some of what the 'monster' feels and understand that POV thoroughly.

I'm glad you feel that worked!
penpusher: Heart By <lj user=groovyamy>penpusher on April 23rd, 2017 10:57 pm (UTC)
Awesome set up to what could be a very entertaining quest! The introspection and thoughtfulness of the narrator runs in direct counterpoint to the freakish and vengeful Doctor.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on May 18th, 2017 10:53 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed this, and sorry about the late reply. :D