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02 March 2017 @ 01:19 pm
LJ Idol Season Ten: "Managerial Discretion"  
Managerial Discretion
idol season ten | week ten | 1033 words
Take a hike!


Griblitz loved his job in Hell.

Well, -ish.

As much as one could love anything in Hell. The combination of Hell and "love" was confusing, like a triple negative that kept flipping from Yes to No until it was spinning. Much like his Afterlife, really…

What Griblitz did not love was working in Limbo, or the relocation costs of moving from Limbo to Hell and back, depending on his current Evilness Index standing. If Hell was confusing, Limbo was even more so. Griblitz would have preferred to stay in Hell full time, but he kept tripping himself up and crossing over one line or the other. He aspired to be Bad with a capital B, to fulfill his demon calling.

He just wasn't very good at it.

His last job evaluation came back with a personal scorch mark of disapproval from the big "S" himself: Needs More Cruelty.

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If you enjoyed this story, you can vote for it along with many other fine entries here.

hwangohwango on March 6th, 2017 05:19 am (UTC)
I'd never heard of the marabou stork before. My goodness, they're...charming. Photos of them on desks in Hell seem reasonable. = )
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on March 6th, 2017 07:55 am (UTC)
Aren't they horrifying? If ever there were a creature that looked like something out of a nightmare, one those birds would be it. They are just so disgusting and wrong in every possible way. :O

So yes, why wouldn't they be admired in Hell? The aesthetic seems perfect. :O
Elеnakehlen on March 6th, 2017 07:45 pm (UTC)
This is an awesome story with a very logical end *giggle*

I have a little suggestion: maybe it would be better to say "what he did right", not wrong — because this is Hell where things are upside down 😇
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on March 6th, 2017 07:54 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you enjoyed it!

I'm thinking the right and wrong are clear, because they are not as "loaded" as good and bad... and yes, those are very much inverted in Hell!

Missteps are still missteps, even if they venture into nice behavior instead of the usual bad. Or in this case, really... UNnasty behavior is all that's required. Kind of like being a hitman who takes pity on the person they're assigned to kill. That's very much wrong from their perspective, and their boss will agree... though the reader would always root for that. :)
🐶d0gs on March 6th, 2017 10:12 pm (UTC)
seventy-two Shades of Grey made me snort with laughter, lmao.

this was such a delightful read! <3
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on March 6th, 2017 10:45 pm (UTC)
You know that in a place like that, which suffers from dullness, there could easily BE that many shades of gray. Which would not make a single thing any more exciting, just more tedious. ;)

Thanks for reading!
morettaallstarmorettaallstar on March 6th, 2017 10:15 pm (UTC)
This reminded me so very strongly of Good Omens, which is an excellent thing.
[Love the "cave-icle".]
Well done!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on March 6th, 2017 10:46 pm (UTC)
Haha-- I'm glad someone noticed "cave-icle"! That seems like two hellish things combined, cubicles and caves. With, of course, disgusting pets on display instead of cute children or puppies and kittens. ;)
Jenmy_name_is_jenn on March 6th, 2017 11:28 pm (UTC)
Haha, love the ending!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Beelzebothalfshellvenus on March 6th, 2017 11:31 pm (UTC)
There is NO happy answer when you're in Hell. Which you'd think Griblitz would have known, but there's also the chance that other demons appear to him to be happy, but are not. There's no way to be sure. :D

Thanks for reading!
Laura, aka "Ro Arwen": Capricorn iconroina_arwen on March 7th, 2017 01:55 am (UTC)
Very creative and a fun read! Poor Griblitz!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on March 7th, 2017 07:27 am (UTC)
Thank you! This was a fun one to write. :)
magazhchi: pic#126839207magazhchi on March 7th, 2017 02:38 am (UTC)
LOL. This is excellent in details which ups the funny quotient without being obvious about it. I really enjoyed this take. The end is perfect.

"Haven't you ever considered that maybe all of this is your version of Hell?" Oh! Ya.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on March 7th, 2017 07:29 am (UTC)
And oddly enough, that very simple solution to all of the contradictions Griblitz sees just isn't one that would ever occur to him on its own. Or to most people, I think!

Thanks for reading!