The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors (halfshellvenus) wrote,
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
halfshellvenus

LJ Idol Season Ten: "The Notorious B.U.N."

The Notorious B.U.N.
idol season ten | week eight | 1300 words
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x-x-x-x-x

It was difficult to deny his involvement when the farmer's rake scratches still adorned his posterior, but Peter Rabbit refused to admit to anything. McGregor's vegetable patch was unnaturally alluring, and Peter was an ordinary rabbit. He just didn't have the willpower to ignore it.

The word around the fields and garden was, "Resist!" No matter how juicy and tempting the vegetables, all of the birds and animals knew they were meant to pretend indifference and just keep moving. Woe to those who did not.

While Peter's mother and sisters had no difficulty holding themselves in check, Peter was less fortunate. He was his father's son, through and through—his dead father, to be precise. Father Rabbit had met his end several years prior, at the hands of the same farmer who had so recently chased Peter round the garden.

There were stories far and wide of other animals who were not always on their best behaviour. A certain reckless toad had acquired quite a reputation, as had a group of mice who commandeered a pumpkin and went joyriding. A few townships over, there was even talk of a mole who had taken a human bride!

What were a few missing beans and radishes compared to that? Why, Peter wondered, was everyone making such a fuss?

Mother Rabbit's friend, Jemima Puddle Duck, thought the problem was that Peter's naughtiness embarrassed the other animals, while Peter thought the problem was that Mrs. Puddle Duck was a complete ninny. He didn't put much stock in her opinion.

"So, that business with the garden," Peter's cousin Benjamin began.

Peter bristled. "Who's asking?" he said.

"Me," Benjamin said. "Who do you think? So, what was it like, anyway?"

Peter squinted at him, one ear going lopsided with the effort to look as confused as possible so as to perpetuate his denial of the entire affair. "What was what like?" Peter asked. "And anyway, how should I know?"

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Tags: crack, my_fic, original_fiction, real lj idol
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