LJ Idol Season Ten: Introduction ("A Day In The Life")

10101010101

#include "stdio.h"

void halfshell_parallel_universe(char *your_name, boolean yay, int seasons_in_the_sun)
{
   int week;

   printf("Howdy, %s.\n", your_name);
   printf("Welcome to the universe of HalfshellVenus' day job.\n\n");

   if (yay)
   {
       printf("It's great to have you here!\n");
   }
   else  /* Not 'yay' */
   {
       printf("All right, sure-- the back door's right over there.\n");
   }
 
   if (seasons_in_the_sun == 0)
   {
       printf("Hello, new person! Looking forward to getting to know you.\n");
   }
   else  /* An Idol veteran */
   {
       printf("Oh, you couldn't help signing up either? Must be the water.\n");
   }
 
   if (idol_prompt_release_day)  /* Yikes. */
   {
       prompt = get_the_topic(&week, &wacky);

       if (wacky)
       {
           query_who_the_hell_comes_up_with_these_things();
           re_ponder_wisdom_of_signing_up_for_idol();

           /* Hunker down and get serious. */
           if ((week > 3) && (week < 10))
           {
               consider_crack();
               weigh_remaining_byes();
           }
           else if (week > 11)
               consider_meta();

           else  /* Most of the season */
               heaven_help_us();
       }
       else /* Reasonable topic */
       {
           realize_that_doesnt_help_much_either();
           rattle_brain_and_see_what_falls_out();
       }
    }

   /* 
    * Whoops, look at the time!
    * Better do some real work now.
    */

   while ((dead_muse) || (work_hours))
   {
       check_project_email_backlog();
       answer_feature_questions();
       triage_released_code_issues();
       code_new_features();

       take_lunchtime_bike_ride(&brainstorm);

       if (brainstorm)
       {
           germinate_idea();
           finish_ride_and_shower();
           if (idea_was_story)  /* Yay! */
           {
              write_down_idea_and_attempt_detail();
              realize_work_deadlines_loom_and_resume_coding();
           }
           else /* idea was new approach to work problem */
           {
              try_out_new_problem_approach();
           }
       }

       /* Back into work flow again */

       create_more_code();
       if (someone_broke_the_build_again)
       {
           delve_into_breakage();
           generate_PLEASE_FIX_THIS_email();
       }  
       wonder_why_we_cant_have_nice_things();
       attend_yet_another_meeting();

rework:
       test_new_code();
       poke_parts_that_are_not_correct ();
       read_hardware_specs_again(asic_feature_area);
       invoke_who_designed_this_asic_behavior_anyway_rant();
       recode_and_try_again();
       if ((code_not_working) && (not_dinnertime))
       {
           goto rework;
       }
       else break;  /* The work day is over! */
   }

   drive_home_while_thinking_about_idol();
   talk_to_family_and eat_dinner();
   eye_tv_or_shiny_new_book_longingly();
   logon_to_do_idol_stuff_anyway();

   if (writing_cycle)  /* Ow, my brain! */
   {

work_it:
       if (prompt_already_known)
       {
          if (idea_working)   /* The rarest and best of all possible worlds */
          {
              write_more_story();
              prod_stubborn_stallouts_with_fork();
              continue_until_bedtime();
              return;
          }
          else  /* No solid story hook yet */
          {
              try_writing_different_approaches();
              see_if_one_takes_off();
              iterate_until_bedtime();
          }
      }
      else
      {
          prompt = get_the_topic(&week, &wacky);     /* Duh. */
          goto work_it; 
      }
   }
   else /* Story is written! Read everyone else's stuff. */
   {
       read_read_read_read_read();
       post_comments();
       read_more();
       panic_over_remaining_stuff_to_do();
       realize_have_nodded_off_three_times_by_now_so_go_to_bed();
   }

   if (workday_tomorrow)
   {
       make_lunch_for_tomorrow();
       long_for_retirement();
   }
   else
   {
       celebrate_by_sleeping_in();
   }

   printf("And that's just the work-week version.\n");

   return;
}