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22 August 2006 @ 09:48 am
24 Fanfiction: Chicks Rule, Boys Drool  
Title: Chicks Rule, Boys Drool
Fandom: 24
Author: HalfshellVenus
Character: Chloe
Rating: PG
Summary: Jack is not the only one who has these incredibly long and difficult days….
Author’s Notes: This ficlet is for missyjack, who requested a funny 24-fic from my last Drabble Meme. Hope you like it, Sweets!


So last night was good— I think it was last night—until he got all intense this morning, all serious and clingy. I hate starting over every time one of these guys gets too hooked on it, like it’s something special and deep.

I pushed him off until later, and then he turned out to be a traitor or something. Whatever. I was kind of busy after that.

Edgar tried to screw me over this morning and then got all sorry. And then he was trapped, and we both knew that was it, and then I was sorry. I didn’t like him the way he liked me, but he was sorta nice anyway, and it still hurt.

Paranoia-Chick was a blip on the radar, and thank god I didn’t touch her. Would’ve loved to wring the Weasel’s neck, though—rotten little snitch. I’m sure he was up to something.

The Bar Freak was the ultimate. Fat-assed sales-droid who can’t take a hint, just kept coming at me again and again like a wind-up lounge-lizard.

I got him but good— got him close enough to Taser him. Stupid, stubborn jerk—I had to keep at it ‘til the phone call was finally done. Zap! Zap! Take that, you MacIntosh-loving moron!

Four virtual desks and multiple systems, and I win again, even on borrowed computer crap.

Not bad for a neurotic gear-headed bitch.

If half this stuff weren’t illegal, my resume would kick massive butt.

------- fin --------

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Venushalfshellvenus on February 24th, 2007 07:28 pm (UTC)
:D I thought you'd like that. It's S5 from Chloe's POV, and what an incredibly snarky and short-tempered view it is.

I LOVED paranoia chick. She was hilarious
What was funny was that she started out as seeming reasonable, and then as the "day" went on you could see that she manufactured issues out of thin air-- constantly!

And the Taser scene... one of the best parts of S5, in my book. "Now that you mention it... uh... heh... I could use a little help." *Zap!*
The Good, The Bad and The Lana: 1ww william wallacethelana on February 24th, 2007 08:15 pm (UTC)
And Chloe's uh-oh 0__o reaction to her craziness made it even better.

BTW, any chance you could email me your home address? I'm normally not the kind to send postcards and stuff (note my total absence in the whole Christmas card sending things), at least in part because I'm deeply lazy. But I have been saving up some real life stuff I want to send you one (unless you mind, then of course not).
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Venushalfshellvenus on February 25th, 2007 07:19 am (UTC)
And Chloe's uh-oh 0__o reaction to her craziness made it even better.
Oh, completely-- because for Chloe to realize someone is weird, they have to really be pushing it. :0

I'm emailing you my home address, assuming your email hasn't changed in the last month or so. ♥
The Good, The Bad and The Lana: Blade Kristathelana on February 25th, 2007 07:37 am (UTC)
Yepp, address is still the same :)

BTW, if there is anything you might want (Northshore burnt to DVD? John Doe eps on DVD? something Austrian?) just say the word :)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: DominicSexyhalfshellvenus on February 25th, 2007 07:43 am (UTC)
I would love both of those (!), but most especially "Northshore" because I think it would be harder to come by. I've got some great screencaps from it saved up, thanks to you. :D
The Good, The Bad and The Lana: 1ww lasso draw inthelana on February 25th, 2007 07:59 am (UTC)
I'll see what I can do :)

The problem with downloaded files is that sometimes they are slightly damaged in a way so that oddly you can watch them without a problem but somehow they balk at being copied :D

I assume you only want the Dom episodes of Northshore? (though personally I think it's hard to appreciate just how awful the main couple is and just how much they deserve to be broken up without the preceding episodes; but I don't want to torture you) Do you have the Dom episode of House? I could pack that on as well.