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18 November 2015 @ 11:29 am
Real Lj Idol Friends and Rivals: Introduction  
idol friends and rivals | week 0 | 308 words
Introduction

x-x-x-x-x

"Come in, everyone, and find a seat. Anywhere will do. There are copies of the course syllabus on the tables at the ends of each aisle—be sure to take one. We have a lot of material to cover this quarter, and the course information will help you know what to do. Yes, keep moving, we're almost ready to start.

"Ralph Hardwick! Either behave, or drop the course right now. You've been a pest since you were ten years old, and everybody knows it. I will not have you treating my course the way you treated my front yard this past summer. Sit down, pay attention, and do not talk unless I call on you. That goes for everyone, people!

"All right, let's get started. This is "Introduction to Writing," and I am your instructor, Dorothy Dash.

"More than anything, this course is about words. Long words, short words, nouns, verbs, adjectives, and gerunds. There will be more words than you can shake a stick at, though why would you want to? We will read them, write them, digest them until they are part of us, until they consume our thoughts:
Wizzle, wuzzle, if words were puzzles,
then who would walk the dog?
"What is life, really, but words? We will—

"Sit down this instant, Megan Blakely, I'm talking!

"As I was saying, we will take words and move them around and ponder, and then we will ponder some more, because that is the essential part of what we do here. There will be four written assignments a week, mandatory attendance, and extra credit will be given to those who can guess what books I've been reading in my off-hours over the term.

"I do not grade on a curve, and I do not accept late—

"Hey! Sit down, you kids, for the last time. I mean it!"


--/--

 
 
 
kick_galvanic, zagzagael, skull_theatre: ariesbleodswean on November 19th, 2015 12:27 am (UTC)
Ah! This course is about words!!! This is delightful!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 19th, 2015 12:56 am (UTC)
So many words. Words and more words.

And little else, except tedium and the kind of teacher you always hope to avoid!
Danmuchtooarrogant on November 19th, 2015 04:29 am (UTC)
Wow! I love writing, but I'd have a hard time putting up with a teacher like that. LOL

Imaginative and fun intro!

Dan
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 19th, 2015 06:12 am (UTC)
I think all of us, at one time or another, have had that teacher at least once. :O

Run! Run while you can!
rayasorayaso on November 19th, 2015 10:05 pm (UTC)
A great start! And what a rotten teacher --- no wonder the kids are getting up (and leaving the class?).
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 19th, 2015 10:22 pm (UTC)
I swear, Christopher has had teachers with elements of this personality from time-to-time. The "Extra credit if you can remember which branch of the armed forces I served with" offered by his freshman-year math teacher comes to mind.

I was thinking of this as a college environment, where kids would be able to drop the class if they had the sense to do it. And yet, the teacher would never imagine that they would, because she's convinced her class is fascinating...
Teo Sayseternal_ot on November 20th, 2015 01:21 pm (UTC)
Haha...this was a nice introduction..reminded me of an online course on writing that I started and left half way..:P (now you know the reason why I missed Idol) Good to see ya..:)Hoping to read many more wonderful stories this season as well. Cheers!

Edited at 2015-11-20 01:22 pm (UTC)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 20th, 2015 06:46 pm (UTC)
Glad you enjoyed it, though I'm sorry you had a real-life experience that resembled it!

Nice to have you back for this season!
favoritebeanfavoritebean on November 20th, 2015 11:31 pm (UTC)
Hahaha! This is delightful, if only because I had a teacher similar to Dorothy Dash once. She was something.

Glad you're participating!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 21st, 2015 02:07 am (UTC)
I feel so bad for people who have had teachers like this, but there's always at least one along the way who has some of these negatives. Fortunately, there are usually some amazing ones, too. :)
Jennkickthehobbit on November 21st, 2015 06:34 am (UTC)
This was cute. :D

Welcome back to Idol!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 22nd, 2015 08:00 am (UTC)
Thank you! You too. :D
blahblahblah, whateverkathrynrose on November 21st, 2015 02:17 pm (UTC)
It's interesting how quickly the first paragraph called up the internal preparatory feeling of the first day of a new class. :)

I enjoyed this.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 22nd, 2015 08:00 am (UTC)
A feeling quickly followed by a sense of dreaaaad, as you realize what kind of teacher you're dealing with here! Yikes.

Glad you enjoyed it!
hurricanes & heartachesrejeneration on November 21st, 2015 08:20 pm (UTC)
Gerunds! My favorites of all words! <3

Hello gorgeous! I cannot wait to read you again! <3
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 22nd, 2015 08:02 am (UTC)
When I went off to college, my dad sent me a handwritten cartoon about parts of speech for some reason: "These are nouns. Name, nouns, name! These are verbs. Move, verbs, move! And these are gerunds-- they live under bridges and collect trolls."

Bwahahahaha! If that isn't what gerunds do in their spare time, they should. :D
carindaeeyore_grrl on November 22nd, 2015 04:42 am (UTC)
Words can be so damn yummy. As far as digestion goes: ya win some ya lose some.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 22nd, 2015 08:04 am (UTC)
Yes-- some are less delicious than others, and some are much harder to digest. Especially mundane or repetitive ones, or words that bog you down in nothingness like an epic Senate fillibuster. :O
swirlsofblueswirlsofblue on November 22nd, 2015 08:20 am (UTC)
Glad to see you're doing Idol this season!

Love this Interp, very funny.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 22nd, 2015 08:50 am (UTC)
Thank you! I've done introductions to myself and to other Idol players, so I figured... why not a character instead, doing her own introduction of something that isn't entirely what you'd expect?
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 23rd, 2015 04:09 am (UTC)
Hopefully with a better instructor! :D
Your argument is invalid.logical_fallacy on November 23rd, 2015 11:57 am (UTC)
Hey Teach, take a chill pill.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 23rd, 2015 07:04 pm (UTC)
Well, it's hard when you're clearly God's gift to teaching and your students are just rudely walking out on you!
misfitmanor: The Princess Bridemisfitmanor on November 23rd, 2015 09:31 pm (UTC)
Oh my. I'm glad I missed this class, or I'd have never taken an interest in writing! Looking forward to reading you again, though, my dear!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 28th, 2015 07:29 pm (UTC)
You too! I love-- LOVE-- these pictures of you and minion that are popping up in this fancy garb. You make such a lovely couple. :D
prog_schlockprog_schlock on November 26th, 2015 10:22 pm (UTC)
Greetings! I've been responding to introductions with songs that the introductions make me think of. Yours made me think of my favorite song about words:



Have fun playing LJI!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 30th, 2015 07:07 am (UTC)
I'd never heard that song before. It made me think of Talking Heads a little (the sardonic singing style, the lyrics) but with a more interesting music background.

Thanks!
alycewilsonalycewilson on December 6th, 2015 12:10 pm (UTC)
What a clever beginning! I love how, even in so few words, you create a fascinating world.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on December 7th, 2015 06:16 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I think we've all had a teacher like this at one time or another, or our children/siblings have. If you can't drop the class, it can be the longest quarter/semester/year of your life. :O