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13 January 2015 @ 03:05 pm
LJ Idol Season Nine: "Closer"  
idol season nine | week 33, quick fire | 126 words
Open topic


Something lives in the shadows under the stairs.

It whispers whenever I go near, almost-words that are as scary as anything. I run past and try not to listen.

We're not moving, Daddy says. You're imagining things. Maybe he's too tall to hear?

Our cat won't come inside anymore. It's been weeks. She bites and scratches if you try to make her. Nobody but me understands.

"Susie!" Mama calls.

I'm almost in the kitchen before I remember my mother's dead.


A cold whoosh of wind pulls me right off my feet and down into the darkness under the stairs.

"Help!" I yell. "Someone help me!"

I fall into the shadows, fall and fall 'til there's nothing but laughter and the echoes of my own screams…


bleodsweanbleodswean on January 13th, 2015 11:28 pm (UTC)
EEEEEE! Nicely done.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on January 14th, 2015 12:42 am (UTC)
I had thought about writing this out as a longer story, but given the deadline decided to try the other route-- getting the same, distinct elements in with the sparest of structures.

I hope it worked. Poor little girl. :(
bleodsweanbleodswean on January 14th, 2015 04:02 am (UTC)
It did work. Sometimes a short sharp shock is best. I think you have a true voice for flashfiction!