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10 July 2006 @ 10:25 pm
"24" Crackfic for 60_minute_fics  
Title: Lack of Information
Author: HalfshellVenus
Fandom: 24
Character: Jack Bauer (Gen, Crack)
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Summary (S3. -Ish): I was so torn on the 60_minute_fics triggers for the week of 6/23/06. I wrote a Supernatural “Amnesia” fic, but a voice was calling almost as loudly for writing “24” for most (later, ALL) of the prompts. So, this follow-up fic is all the triggers at once. I hope to have a separate post later with a “24” trilogy, all triggers handled separately.

x-x-x-x-x

Sometimes information is extricated by subterfuge and cunning. And other times, it falls right into your lap.

A television blared in the living room of a 3-bedroom cottage in the coastal hills of the Bay Area. On the screen, a man lurked around the edges of a supply yard, ducking in and out of cover as the news helicopter hunted him with an impressive long-range camera.

“Goddamnit!” the man watching T.V. yelled out from his recliner. That was his face on television, and the guy wearing it had a gun and was clearly in the middle of something not at all good.

“Jesus.” The man got out of his recliner, pacing in front of the television set. “I’m retired, for Christ’s sake! I don’t know where they found this guy, but he’s making me look like an idiot.”

Whoever the armed man was—a twin, an Evil Twin, the result of plastic surgery—he’d picked one hell of a guy to impersonate. Jack Bauer’s life had been crap when he worked for CTU. Years of torture-filled, murderous, morally-ambiguous crap. So, fine. This guy was welcome to it. As long as he was discreet about it, and didn’t go around doing things that made Bauer look like some kind of unprofessional incompetent.

“Lexa, can you bring me a beer?” Jack called out.

“Sure thing, baby,” a husky voice responded.

She came out from the kitchen a moment later, a pouty brunette with knowing eyes. Some would say she was a dead ringer for Nina Meyers… and they’d be right. The woman had escaped Federal security—and Jack Bauer—a few years back. Rising from the dead was only slightly more difficult.

Thanks to lingering amnesia from her fatal or near-fatal injury, she was harmless enough right now. She was still an accomplished and willing bedroom partner—some things hadn’t changed at all—but her past and her ultra-destructive obsessions were as forgotten as the name she used to own.

Jack watched her easing on over his way, her lifting smile offering more interesting entertainment than the morning news. If she ever remembered who she was, he’d have to eliminate her. He might be retired, but Jack was a patriot and he was always on the clock.

But until then, he’d enjoy what circumstances had brought him. He pulled her down into the chair with him and let his fingertips start something they knew down to chorus and verse.

For now, it was all beer and lazing around until the sex-train swept on through.

For now, in the ordinary blueprint of one newly-retired Jack Bauer, this life was very, very good.


-------- fin --------



 
 
 
The Grammarian about whom your mother warned you.acostilow on July 11th, 2006 05:38 am (UTC)
Oh, my god. I must love you. WHY? WHY DO I KEEP READING FICS FOR SHOWS I DON'T WATCH?

It's all your fault, you know.

Anyways. It's awesome, you know that. And from the very!little! I know about the show, it's pretty damn cool.

Yeah, don't expect much sense. I like it, is that enough? :D:D:D:D:D
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Venushalfshellvenus on July 11th, 2006 05:58 am (UTC)
WHY DO I KEEP READING FICS FOR SHOWS I DON'T WATCH?
Because you are the soul of kindness? Because the words "CrackFic" compel your brain to readNow? :D

I like it, is that enough? :D:D:D:D:D
Always, always, always. ♥

Hee!
Trystan: Ben Browdertrystan830 on July 11th, 2006 05:41 am (UTC)
(refered over here by acostilow)

and unlike her, i do watch 24. this was great!! :D

Jack will never retire. heh.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Venushalfshellvenus on July 11th, 2006 05:59 am (UTC)
:D Thank you, Trystan!

Jack will never retire. heh.
Oh, god-- but he should seriously think about it! Yeesh. :0
Trystantrystan830 on July 11th, 2006 12:51 pm (UTC)
oh i know he should retire... but Jack's not the kind of character to sit back and watch the world go by. not even when he was supposed to be dead....
The Good, The Bad and The Lana: big smile happy sarathelana on July 11th, 2006 06:06 am (UTC)
Hilarious. And evil :D
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Venushalfshellvenus on July 11th, 2006 06:13 am (UTC)
Hilarious. And evil :D
The evil is key here, I tell you!

Crackfic rulz. ;)
I'm for wine and the embrace of questionable womenmissyjack on July 11th, 2006 06:20 am (UTC)
*This comment occured between 4.19pm and 4.20pm. All words occur in real time*

You have my undying love and adoration. You write with wicked wit about all my beloved shows. This is best 24!crack ever.

*curls up at your feet contented*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Venushalfshellvenus on July 11th, 2006 06:24 am (UTC)
*This comment occured between 4.19pm and 4.20pm. All words occur in real time*
Mmmmm, a fan who knows her details! Niiice...

This is best 24!crack ever.
It might be the only 24!crack ever. Until... I get the next bunch out. :0

Thank you, missyjack! I aim to please. And confound. And entertain, most of all. :)
When it is darkest, men see the stars.witchofthedogs on July 11th, 2006 08:36 pm (UTC)
*laughing*

Poor Jack. Retired with the albatross of Nina around his neck.

Pretty damned good for a sixty minute fic. I haven't been around for any of the prompts lately... Need to fix that.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: heh-hehhalfshellvenus on July 11th, 2006 08:44 pm (UTC)
Poor Jack. Retired with the albatross of Nina around his neck.
:D Though he can both enjoy their chemistry, AND keep an eye on her. Just in case...

Pretty damned good for a sixty minute fic.
This is the only one I've written that did NOT take, like, 65 minutes to write followed by frantic fixing up and formatting. Most of my ideas are too long to execute without rushing and struggling. :0

I haven't been around for any of the prompts lately... Need to fix that.
It may honestly be past your bedtime, based on most of your RL posts. The window is 10-11pm EST, and you're ON EST. And that sounds a little late for you. I typically wind up doing them from 10-11 PST, because at 7-8pm we are putting the kinds to bed, and from 8-9:30 my husband is up and we're visiting and such. Sadly, 7-8 would be a much more lucid time for me, even though I'm a night-owl.
Mitochondrial Eve: da avatarwhosjeebus on July 13th, 2006 06:27 pm (UTC)
i swears, you are the busiest of bees, aren't you? and so ambitious, with that '24' trilogy in the works, too...

you're makin' me look bad, 'cause i can't seem to keep up. but i heart you ennyway.

i totally know what you meant about friday nights, tho. now that sci-fi is airing new eps of sg-1 and atlantis on fridays, i'll NEVER actually get around to writing more fic.

so... lemme float an idea past you that i've been kicking around for awhile: how are saturdays for you? i know that not everyone has a m-f, 9 to 5 job, but early evening on saturdays might be a decent time for members in inconvenient time zones who haven't been able to participate so far, and for those who don't want to even THINK on a friday night, after working a grueling week at the office/sweatshop. my only concern is that it might kill the friday night sessions.

ideas, opinions?
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Venushalfshellvenus on July 13th, 2006 06:37 pm (UTC)
You know, Saturdays are actually worse for me. On the off-chance that my husband and I will have a date, it's usually Saturday. But I can be flexible. On Fridays, my husband's exhausted and goes to bed early, which makes that a better writing time for me! :D And I try to hit the Mondays where I can.

I suspect it's more likely to be quiet since it's summer. I'll be missing this Friday, because we're going camping. But will I consider writing the Friday night triggers later? Absolutely. I'm kind of flexible that way. I mean, I'm still working on the 6/23 triggers, and the "mix and match" set had so many possibilities (I'd re-run that one again-- people can pick a different combo).

My hardest thing, actually, is polishing all the stuff I write! That's better by far than the "no inspiration" thingy. I'm writing the "Amnesia" one into a chapter fic, and I finally polished "Unbreakable" and posted it today. Still have "Down That Lonesome Road" to polish.

I love the community as is, really-- and I get a huge kick out of the write-ups for the prompts. They're entertaining all by themselves.

So, there are only two real suggestions I might have. One is to possibly tag the fics later, such as "Supernatural" (or have the tag set known, and let the writer tag it later). I have 5 SN fics so far, but only 1 of them is in the memories. Tagging would easily flag them (and everyone else's SN stuff) down.

And the other suggestion is to have memories/tags for the Trigger dates. I.e., something like 062306 (ugh) for June 23, 2006 triggers, OR trigger_5 for trigger set #5, and what-have-you. That accomodates those of us who post for triggers after-the-fact, as for this fic. :)

Must get the anniversary one written or decided on! That's next week. :0
Mitochondrial Eve: SPN wtfbbqwhosjeebus on July 13th, 2006 06:50 pm (UTC)
' I have 5 SN fics so far, but only 1 of them is in the memories. '

okay... i am SO freaking out here, because i have been on top of all the fics, all the fics everywhere, so you have to tell me what i've missed.

*freaks out more*

srsly, i thought i had them ALL. i'm like, doing that 'chicken with its head cut off' thing RIGHT NOW.
Mitochondrial Eve: SPN o rlywhosjeebus on July 13th, 2006 06:58 pm (UTC)
okay... so, in a panic, i went and checked, and i found 5 spn fics by you, yourself, the person who is [Bad username: halfshellvenus"] in the mems, altho i DID add one earlier today. is that all of them?

apologies, but i am in full-on pissy, obsessy, PMS-y mode today, so if i ramble, you can kick me and tell me to go away. i'm just trying to sort some shit out before i get back into 'the zone' and try to come up with some prompts for tomorrow. and yis, i'm totally gonna find a way to do that 'mix and match' thingie again.

FYI, i love LJ tags, but they're rather limiting. you can only use a specific tag 100 times (i think), and it won't be long before we have more SPN fics than that. i suppose i could get more technical and group them by author and pairings as well, but i'm really trying to keep things simple right now. i'll have to look into it more, methinks.

looking forward to the anniversary fic, and i need to get back up in there and remind everyone about that.

*sigh* when i find the time.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Venushalfshellvenus on July 13th, 2006 11:14 pm (UTC)
and i found 5 spn fics by you,
Yes-- now they're all there. I think I checked over the weekend, and there was _one_ SPN for me only. So, you're up-to-date!

you can only use a specific tag 100 times (i think),
Whah-oh. Well, I'm OK on that in my own LJ for now. Good thing fanfic100 and prisonbreak100 only HAVE 100 fics (OMG, I said "only". *insanity moment*)

My "PMS-Y modes" lead to 1)Chocolate?Chocolate?Chocolate? and 2)Salt-salt-salt-salt and 3)This shirt tag must DIE! and 4)Occasional bitchiness. My figure and my clothing tags suffer the worst of it. ;)

Your triggers are harder to come up when they're centered around a theme. Disjointed ones, like "South of the Border" (nice and broad) and "Ice" and "Speed" are a lot easier. Which is why I admire the ones that are tied together so much. :D