The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors (halfshellvenus) wrote,
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors

LJ Idol Exhibit A: "Fornax"

LJ Idol Exhibit A | week 4 | 375 words
Ultra Deep Field

Note for the visually impaired: there are many links below, but a few of them just lead to pictures.


So there I was just minding my own business, planets turning and stars all nice and shiny. Then that snippy little tramp Eridanus tells me I'm all over the news like some attention-whore of a neutron star on the verge of spawning an event horizon. The nerve!

Would you like cameras sneaking in from the other side of the universe and trying to look up your skirts? And not just a quick peek here and there—we're talking multiple time-spans of extensive stalking! Yes, I have an abundance of dwarf galaxies, and a rather shameless and alluring spiral galaxy. I have my own little exoplanet (not that I trust it—it probably wandered in from next door), and a glorious, purple planetary nebula. Not every constellation can claim that! My Fornax A is a radio galaxy, if you like that sort of thing. I'm afraid I can't be held responsible for its actions—if it wants to eat a spiral galaxy once in a while, there isn't much I can do about it. I've tried scolding, but it doesn't listen. Those two supernovae not long ago? Macho posturing. Really, it makes me tired.

They tell me it's something called "Hubble" that's spying on me—a code name for a pervert if there ever was one! Eridanus says he's bothered her in the past, but you know how she goes on, as if the universe just can't get enough of her bragging about her meteor showers or that darned supervoid. You never hear Sculptor or Phoenix talking like that, and Phoenix has one of the most massive galaxy clusters of all!

I can hardly think now, knowing that sicko is out there. What does he want from me? Unique nebula types? An explosion of quasars? I already have Caelum breathing down my neck and sending me mash notes every millennium, and he's such a creepy little thing—hardly there, half the time. I'm sure he's up to something.

Well, that nasty Hubble will be back again, I just know it, and I'll have no say in the matter at all. I can't exactly move, or even close the curtains to protect my privacy!

Oh, where's a good Oort cloud when you need one?

If you enjoyed this story, you can vote for it along with many other fine entries here.

Tags: crack, exhibit a, my_fic, original_fiction, real lj idol
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