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29 June 2006 @ 09:24 pm
Supernatural Gen "Drowning" Drabbles: Deluge  
Title: Deluge
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Dean, Sam, John in turns (Gen)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: 5x100 Gen drabbles for the supernatural100 challenge on “Drowning.”

x-x-x-x-x

Tuned Out
Sam’s resentment alone should be enough to envelop the car, but he’s been edged aside by Dean’s music for the last two days.

It has more guitars than singers sometimes, and there’s a certain pounding sameness to it all. Sam glowers, too many trips through “You owe me” wearing him down with their silent accusations. So he left for Stanford—it isn’t news. And now he’s back, though that could change if Dean keeps testing his sanity like this.

He slides down, too muddled for reason or revenge, as his thoughts struggle for air in the swelling tide of Metallica.


A River of Lost Hope (John)
Three klicks into the jungle, Mackleby hit a trip-wire that ended his tour for good. John was on point, struggling to route his unit backwards as quickly as possible without running into any more booby traps.

It was too late then. The noise had brought in a group of VietCong, flanking them on three sides and closing in on the fourth. John’s troop edged in reverse, determined and cautious, before a rain of bullets filled the air around them. They streamed and pinged, driving the men downward until there was no place to breathe that wasn’t already crowded with death….


Picket Fences
They’d lived in a place like this once, a bedroom town outside Detroit when Dean was eleven.

Dean still remembers it— too-tidy lawns when their own sported weeds, uncomfortable questions like, “Who are your parents, dear?” and “How come you’re never home?” and “Now Dean, where did these bruises come from?”

He couldn’t wait to get out from under the scrutiny of an entire community based around something he’d never be.

Now they’re investigating a knagkrulth attack at a nearby playground. Walking through picture-perfect streets, the apple-pie expectations of suburbia crowd in until he feels like he just can’t breathe.


Running On Empty
If Sam were here, they’d fight over the front seat.

Instead, it’s all his—when he’s not actually driving. There’s no bickering or jostling, no laughing over stupid things. It’s so terribly quiet all the time.

If Sam were here he’d tease Dean, and once in awhile he might look at him the way he used to, when Dean was the answer to his questions, his problems, and all the longed-for things Sam still wanted but couldn’t have.

Dean’s chest is tight with the memories of what is missing.

How can a man drown from an excess of empty space?


Dissolution (“Devil’s Trap”)
The wall is a phantom behind him, unstable and unsure as Dean sways with the agony of his battered, fractured soul.

The demon bends and breaks his spirit, ruptures his very foundation from within. “They don’t need you,” it says, and Dean’s heart aches from the words and the pressure in his chest.

It veers closer, pushing up against him, eyes flickering from demon to father to demon again as it seeks to destroy him both for sport and for revenge.

Dean’s insides gurgle and his lungs begin failing, as they fill with the unnatural presence of his own blood.


-------- fin --------

 
 
 
Kronette: Sam and Dean-can't go on like thiskronette on June 30th, 2006 04:38 am (UTC)
Do you need me to squee and say these were wonderful? Can I just make a cheerleader icon for you? *g* Ahh, poor Dean. Poor John. Poor Sam. I even feel sorry for the Impala, having the silence instead of the banter.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on June 30th, 2006 05:21 am (UTC)
Do you need me to squee and say these were wonderful?
Why yes, yes I do. *flails happily*

I even feel sorry for the Impala, having the silence instead of the banter.
It's all wrong somehow once Sam is gone. And doesn't Dean know it...

So glad you liked these. Thank you, kronette! :)
The Grammarian about whom your mother warned you.acostilow on June 30th, 2006 04:58 am (UTC)
Oh, beautiful. Just beautiful. You kill me. You hurt me and kill me and I can't help but love you for it. And other good stuff.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on June 30th, 2006 05:25 am (UTC)
You hurt me and kill me and I can't help but love you for it.
Oh thank goodness. I can see how that could just as easily send you fleeing for the hills!

Five drabbles, and none of them about water. God, I hope get the slash set out. Not written yet, but I have the concepts. It's been awhile since there were slash ones for the prompts. Perhaps because so many of these have involved John lately. :0 (Parents! They just put the kibosh on those kinds of hijinks! Even the fictional parents...)
(no subject) - acostilow on June 30th, 2006 05:27 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on June 30th, 2006 06:09 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - acostilow on June 30th, 2006 06:27 am (UTC) (Expand)
moveablehistory on June 30th, 2006 06:04 am (UTC)
I love all of these, but these lines - Dean’s chest is tight with the memories of what is missing.

How can a man drown from an excess of empty space?
- are amazing. ♥
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on June 30th, 2006 06:14 am (UTC)
:D Thank you!

How can a man drown from an excess of empty space?
This one is probably the most unusual use of the "drowning" prompt, because it occurs entirely in the negative (the absence of something, not the presence, makes Dean feel like he's drowning).

I wrote these all before tonight's SN, but rewatching "Home" again brought all that woobie!Dean right back into my memories. His heart was on his sleeve that entire episode, and I'm still bothered by how mean Missouri was to him. She had to know how he felt, all hurt and alone and scared. I can't fathom why she would pick on him in that state (other than... the writers forgot that aspect and played everything for laughs). *Oops-- sidelining the ramble now*

Thank you for your comments-- I always appreciate them. :)
(no subject) - moveablehistory on June 30th, 2006 06:24 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mooyoo on June 30th, 2006 06:43 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on June 30th, 2006 04:14 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mooyoo on June 30th, 2006 04:58 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on June 30th, 2006 05:08 pm (UTC) (Expand)
mooyoo: Dean/Sam - Orangemooyoo on June 30th, 2006 06:37 am (UTC)
I love the last two, particularly Running on Empty - there's something about that period, when Sam left and Dean was alone with John, that I'm completely fascinated with. Dean trying to continue like things are normal, but they're not really because half of him is missing. I especially loved How can a man drown from an excess of empty space?
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on June 30th, 2006 04:17 pm (UTC)
Dean trying to continue like things are normal, but they're not really because half of him is missing.
That must have been so godawfully depressing for Dean. Especially now that we've seen more of John, and there is less of a "partner" aspect to his relationship with Dean than a "Yes, sir" and "No, sir" that just... hurts me to think about. Can you imagine losing Sam AND having that be all that's left? And then being conflicted about it, because you just know Dean would hate himself for the disloyalty of thinking John could/should be somehow different.

Glad you liked these, mooyoo. :) Nice to have you back-- AND your new icon. Haven't seen that one before.
(no subject) - mooyoo on June 30th, 2006 05:09 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on June 30th, 2006 06:15 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mooyoo on June 30th, 2006 06:28 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mooyoo on June 30th, 2006 05:13 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Vanzetti: brothersvaznetti on June 30th, 2006 11:04 am (UTC)
Nice -- I really like all the ways you've used the prompt here. It's too hard to pick a favorite, but I do particularly like the first of them.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on June 30th, 2006 05:02 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I love to experiment with all of the different flavors you can get out of a prompt. Finding the non-obvious ones can be a real challenge.

Poor Sam. Dean wanted him back, but now he has to get a little revenge for the pain of that absence. Nothing like making a person's ears bleed to get your point across. ;)
Entendre? Make mine a double.: Prose before Hosdeirdre_c on June 30th, 2006 12:57 pm (UTC)
Brilliant!! The first one is perfect, perfect, perfect. I was going to quote from it, but every line , every WORD is amazing. "...edged aside by Dean's music." Damn, you're good!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on June 30th, 2006 05:04 pm (UTC)
:D Thank you, deirdre!

I'd probably be going nuts in Sam's place. Led Zeppelin, yay! Boston-- mostly yay! Blue Oyster Cult-- yay! Metallica/metal/metal/metal... ow. Bored AND overwhelmed all at once. ;)

OMG. This is the first time I've read the text on your icon. I bow before its evil humor... :D
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on June 30th, 2006 09:03 pm (UTC)
Hi, wenchpixie! It's been awhile.

Dean sways with the agony of his battered, fractured soul.
I was wondering when someone would notice the language in that last drabble, and that hopeless feeling of being crushed from within, physically and emotionally.

*Sigh* That demon knew how to destroy Dean but good. :(
getting the chocolate in the peanut butter: owned by an impaladotfic on June 30th, 2006 09:32 pm (UTC)
Oh, I really like these. Sam's thought being drowned out by Dean's music, interesting idea. It's like the music symbolizes their power struggle with each other. John in Vietnam, good job with a difficult subject matter.

My favorite line is How can a man drown from an excess of empty space? Lovely.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on June 30th, 2006 09:36 pm (UTC)
It's like the music symbolizes their power struggle with each other.
It really does. There's no sharing or concession at the beginning while they work out their issues and Dean's anger at Sam for leaving.

My favorite line is How can a man drown from an excess of empty space? Lovely.
:) Thank you. Definitely the most unusual take on the prompt among the five here. I love the challenges that are a bit more open-ended in how you can interpret them.

Love that icon. ;)
(no subject) - dotfic on June 30th, 2006 09:45 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on July 1st, 2006 02:26 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! :)

Are you a little more of a Dean person, then? Those are so strongly angstyDean...
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on July 2nd, 2006 05:28 am (UTC) (Expand)
bluesister on July 1st, 2006 07:40 am (UTC)
I love when fics actually make me understand these chars better. These did that.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on July 2nd, 2006 05:27 am (UTC)
I love when fics actually make me understand these chars better. These did that.
Ooh, what an awesome thing to say! Thank you so much. *glee* :D
Pixpixel_0 on July 7th, 2006 04:21 am (UTC)
Mmm...lovely. My favorite one was, hands down, the last drabble of Dean during "Devil's Trap." I think it's because that was such an important moment for Dean on a whole, and I always like to read different writers' interpretation of it. I like, also, the "pairs," per se, in your sentences (I think there's a technical literary term for these sorts of things, but it's too late for me to remember it): ...Dean’s heart aches from the words and the pressure in his chest. and ...it seeks to destroy him both for sport and for revenge. The last line, especially, was just devastating.

On a whole, though, I liked them all and how you brought each of the Winchester's lives into play. Also, kudos on the John one--I haven't seen very many people who are willing to write about John in Vietnam, so it was a refreshing change from John the hunter to John the soldier. Overall, I enjoyed them greatly. :D
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on July 7th, 2006 05:06 am (UTC)
I think it's because that was such an important moment for Dean on a whole, and I always like to read different writers' interpretation of it.
Such a terrible moment for everyone-- Dean being destroyed mentally and physically by the demonFather, John trapped inside his own body as it's used to destroy his children, and Sam helpless and forced to witness it all even as he wonders why his powers won't come to him now when he so desperately needs them. Gah! I could probably go on all day about it.

I like, also, the "pairs," per se, in your sentences
Thank you! I don't know the literary term for it either. I tend to use it when the flow and contrast feel right to me. That doesn't sound particularly scholarly, does it?

I haven't seen very many people who are willing to write about John in Vietnam, so it was a refreshing change from John the hunter to John the soldier.
This aspect of John seems to be stealing my brain right now. This is the fourth drabble in the last few weeks that has touched on/featured his past in Vietnam.

Glad you liked them, pixel. I so look forward to reading your comments. Always insightful and full of ideas. :)