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16 June 2012 @ 09:29 pm
The Real LJ Idol: "Strange Waters"  
Strange Waters
real lj idol | week 30 (prompt 2) | 344 words
Leviathan

x-x-x-x-x

The Loch is not my home.

'Twas aye fair, the green borders with the hills up above. Its strange waters beckoned, drawing me from the sea and growing warmer as I wended my way in. Even the narrow passages and shallow places crowding against me mattered not, for what was that against adventure?

I was younger then, strong and reckless enough for such a long journey.

The light changed as I travelled, dark and bright and dark again, before I reached the loch at last. 'Twas strangely quiet there. No wave or tide shifted its surface, no whale-songs echoed below. Yet, it soothed me. The memory fain calls e'en now, whenever my bones grow weary or weak.

I slid along the bottom of the loch, the rocks as smooth as they'd been from the beginning of my expedition. Other places were softer than any I'd found, softer even than the bonnie brush of sand. The loch had plants to eat—not as lovely as the crisp flavor of those that swayed in the sea, but still delightful simply by grace of being new.

I swam and skulked in its deficient depths, and even wandered out toward the edges and lifted my head into the unfamiliar air. Light traded darkness many times over, and 'twas restful and enchanting. But I couldnae bide my time there forever…

The open sea called to me again. The creatures of the loch were too small to fill my belly, and I missed the cold, cold waters of the ocean's deeps. I needed room to roam broadly, and the comfort of heavy waters to stop my floating away. The loch was strange and beautiful, but 'twas not my home, and I had lingered there long enow.

I moved through the loch 'til found the soft current that led back to the passages whence I came. The journey seemed slower, for my longing was great, but at last it ended.

I tasted the braw waters of the bonnie brine, and slipped sweetly down to the inky depths I loved so well.




LJ Idol voting for this round is open to all current season participants. Details here.

 
 
 
cindytsuki_no_bara on June 17th, 2012 05:12 pm (UTC)
nessie as adventurer! i really like this, and i like the idea to use some scottish dialect.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on June 17th, 2012 06:53 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

Actually, what I most loved was the idea that Nessie hasn't been seen again not because it's fake, but because those appearances were just during visits. ;)
whipchickwhipchick on June 18th, 2012 06:49 pm (UTC)
I like how you incorporate the modern myth into the character's experience!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on June 18th, 2012 07:36 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

I can't resist the thought that this creature has been around a long time, and that a onetime journey visit might have launched an entire set of ongoing lore that the creature is entirely unaware of. One little (days/weeks/years-long) outing. Who knew so much would come of it? :0
A Sentient Being: Fairyalien_infinity on June 19th, 2012 05:01 pm (UTC)
I enjoyed this a lot. The concept was really cool. :)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on June 19th, 2012 06:07 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Boy, once the phrase, "The loch is not my home" floated into my head, this whole thing took wing.

So glad you enjoyed it!
Jemima Paulerjem0000000 on June 20th, 2012 04:02 am (UTC)
Awwww. :)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on June 20th, 2012 05:08 am (UTC)
I can imagine the modern-speak version of Nessie finding out about the whole legend:

Nessie: *swimming and sliding around in the sea, gobbling groupers and whatnot*
Media: "Some people claim that the monster is still there in the Loch, though it rarely surfaces and the last sighting was decades ago."
Nessie: "Wait, WHAT? The Loch? Geez, that was just a one-time thing! What is wrong with you people?"
Jemima Paulerjem0000000 on June 20th, 2012 06:11 am (UTC)
Lol! Poor Nessie, all misunderstood and starting legends and stuff.
notodettenotodette on June 20th, 2012 04:03 pm (UTC)
This is wonderful. I hope you go very very far in this competition. I love your stuff.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on June 20th, 2012 05:56 pm (UTC)
Aw, that is so sweet of you!

I honestly thought I wouldn't make it past the first few rounds, so still being here is a complete surprise. But exploring all of these new (and often bizarre) areas is sure fun!
the_day_setupthe_day_setup on June 20th, 2012 11:22 pm (UTC)
I see what you mean about an incidental intersection. :)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on June 20th, 2012 11:23 pm (UTC)
Exactly! That's the first thing that occured to me when I saw that Nessie picture on your fake album cover for your own entry. :D
medleymistymedleymisty on June 21st, 2012 01:51 am (UTC)
I love this. It's beautiful and gentle and good.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on June 21st, 2012 05:28 am (UTC)
Thank you! The style of this is more lyrical, which rarely seems to fit what I'm doing for Idol. It was nice to marry it with the idea of Nessie adventuring and causing unexpected side-effects by doing so.
basricbasric on June 21st, 2012 02:09 am (UTC)
A lovely story. My favorite
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on June 21st, 2012 05:29 am (UTC)
Thank you! I really enjoyed "being Nessie" for writing this one. It's so interesting to try out these different perspectives. I think that frog from the Fable story is still in here, too. Wonder how long he'll stay? I hope he's not permanent!
m_malcontentm_malcontent on June 21st, 2012 04:44 am (UTC)
I love this take. I once wrote a story that had Nessie as the "last surviving dragon"...so this story holds a place in my heart.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on June 21st, 2012 05:31 am (UTC)
I saw that note when researching Nessie (to see whether he/she was considered to have flippers/legs or not). It mentioned the dragon possibility, the pleiosaur idea, and of course, there's the "picture" of Nessie looking a lot like a brontosaurus with a mouth full of weeds...

Glad you enjoyed this one!
Myrnamyrna_bird on June 21st, 2012 04:24 pm (UTC)
Beautiful!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on June 21st, 2012 06:29 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I loved working with this idea, especially in this style. Felt at one with Nessie by the time this was finished. :)
alycewilson: Alice underwateralycewilson on June 21st, 2012 09:24 pm (UTC)
Love this. Poor lonely sea monster.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on June 21st, 2012 11:45 pm (UTC)
Thank you! With all the prettiness of the loch, and the warmer waters (which humans would probably value more than the sea monster), the sounds of the sea would be gone, and the mysterious murky depths, and the mysterious way the light slants through on sunnier days.

I'd miss it, too!

alycewilson: Alice underwateralycewilson on June 21st, 2012 11:51 pm (UTC)
That's a lovely description.
java_fiendjava_fiend on June 21st, 2012 11:35 pm (UTC)
Beautiful... I love this story. I love how you give Nessie some character and personality. :-)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on June 21st, 2012 11:48 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much!

It's funny how some of these shorter pieces can take longer to write, simply for getting far down into the headspace of the not-necessarily-human protagonist.

I'm still thinking about that frog, several stories back!
java_fiendjava_fiend on June 21st, 2012 11:50 pm (UTC)
Smaller pieces that have the depth you do are totally harder to write. I mean, you really make us feel a certain longing and wistfulness in this piece... not easy to do in such a short space. But you did it well!