The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors (halfshellvenus) wrote,
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
halfshellvenus

Real LJ Idol: "The K-Tel Wordmaster"

The K-Tel Wordmaster
real lj idol | week 12 | 229 words
Some Assembly Required



Have you dreamed of becoming an author? Of writing your own bestselling novels, or creating compelling classified ads?

Well, now there's a product for you: the K-Tel Wordmaster! This amazing word kit is all you need to start writing your own masterpiece, and it can be yours for the low, low price of only $19.99.


Image: Excited elderly man reading "My Masterpiece, by Wilfred Wordsmith"


The K-Tel Wordmaster offers thousands and thousands of words: verbs, nouns, adjectives, adverbs, prepositions, conjunctions, participles, and more!

Create your own sentences, paragraphs, and storylines. The sky's the limit!

And, for a limited time only, we'll send you a bonus Pocket Thesaurus, a $2.99 value. Now how much would you pay?


Image: Tiny "Pocket Thesaurus" on a person's hand.



Tired of all those ordinary words?


Image: Crumpled balls of paper and frustrated woman sitting in front of paper with the words "cat the sat fat mat" on it.


The K-Tel Wordmaster provides you with an enormous selection to choose from, including four-syllable vocabulary expanders, rare modifiers, valuable verbs, and exciting intensifiers!

Still not satisfied? All orders also feature an extra two-hundred power words: obliterate, trepidation, prowess, mitigate, exonerate, scrutinize, and more!

Operators are standing by. Call within the next twenty minutes, and we'll conjugate* ten of the most-frequently-used verbs for free: be, go, can, do, will, run, drive, lie, lay, and may.
*Offer prohibited in some areas, including Arkansas and Tennessee.

What are you waiting for? Order your Wordmaster today!



**The K-Tel Wordmaster is not sold in any stores. K-Tel is not responsible for grammar, syntax, or the marketability of any results. Some assembly required.




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Tags: crack, my_fic, original_fiction, real lj idol
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  • Now, With Less Eye-Bulging

    Boy, late-night television is its own weirdness. Especially the medical ads! \o? And speaking of weirdness, HalfshellHusband was in the shower…

  • Meanwhile, in the blast furnace...

    We had a few days of reprieve before the next Doom Cycle begins. And by 'reprieve,' I mean 92-96 o days instead of 99 o-plus. I got out for a nice…

  • And then, a month and a half later...

    I don't know why I'm having such a hard time getting back into the swing of reading and posting. I guess the doseage for my anti-depressants just…