Category: Sam, Dean, the dead spn_hate community
Summary: So, I wrote a bunch of these up to aid impertinence in her task to lighten up the ugly at spn_hate. Now, I inflict them on you, and invite you to join in. Yes-- add your badness in the comments! Some of these are not quite as bad as they could be (eep. At least one is serious), but I tried to go for the painful rhyme and dumb-ass theme where I could.
Enjoy. Or, whatever. If you cringe or smile, well then-- my work here is done. :D
Now ghosts are quite messy sometimes;
they leave broken windows and slime.
The Winchesters don’t clean—
they eradicate those beings—
and leave home improvement behind.
There once were two brothers so strong
they could battle all demons and wrongs.
But they had in their Dad
a man crazed, numb or mad,
so their victories could never last long.
There once was this studmuffin, Dean,
who tried to act badass and mean...
His bro' knew his weakness--
steam showers and neatness--
Metallica Man? Or more... Queen?
A demon said "Moms are for burning"
and for vengeance their Dad has been yearning,
but the hunt never ends--
despite Eye Blood, dead friends--
and there's no sign the tide's even turning.
There once was this psychic, Missouri,
who was all over Dean in a hurry.
She could see every move,
hear his thoughts (they were rude!),
though she knew underneath… it was worry.
These boys live on other people’s plastic.
Their fake ID cards are fantastic!
They hustle pool bucks
from big drivers of trucks
and hope to escape hurt bombastic.
The brothers were bound to each other
and had no eyes left for another,
so they hunted their demons
and scattered their semen (!)
and Dean hit on bar-babes as cover.
The boys are such hotties-- we lick them!
Though some readers say no-- Wincest squicks them!
But we do what we must
to write Pant, Moan and Thrust
and we honestly can't seem to "Quit" Them.
----- this one is appalling, be warned -----
A clever young lad (call him Sam)
thinks the hunting life ain’t worth a damn.
Though he does it, it’s tiring
(not like law books), expiring
his patience. At pranks—- he da’ man!