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08 June 2006 @ 11:54 am
Limericks Are For Laughing  
Title: Buckets O' Blarney
Author: HalfshellVenus
Category: Sam, Dean, the dead spn_hate community
Rating: PG-13
Summary: So, I wrote a bunch of these up to aid impertinence in her task to lighten up the ugly at spn_hate. Now, I inflict them on you, and invite you to join in. Yes-- add your badness in the comments! Some of these are not quite as bad as they could be (eep. At least one is serious), but I tried to go for the painful rhyme and dumb-ass theme where I could.

Enjoy. Or, whatever. If you cringe or smile, well then-- my work here is done. :D

x-x-x-x-x

Now ghosts are quite messy sometimes;
they leave broken windows and slime.
The Winchesters don’t clean—
they eradicate those beings—
and leave home improvement behind.


There once were two brothers so strong
they could battle all demons and wrongs.
But they had in their Dad
a man crazed, numb or mad,
so their victories could never last long.


There once was this studmuffin, Dean,
who tried to act badass and mean...
His bro' knew his weakness--
steam showers and neatness--
Metallica Man? Or more... Queen?


A demon said "Moms are for burning"
and for vengeance their Dad has been yearning,
but the hunt never ends--
despite Eye Blood, dead friends--
and there's no sign the tide's even turning.


There once was this psychic, Missouri,
who was all over Dean in a hurry.
She could see every move,
hear his thoughts (they were rude!),
though she knew underneath… it was worry.


These boys live on other people’s plastic.
Their fake ID cards are fantastic!
They hustle pool bucks
from big drivers of trucks
and hope to escape hurt bombastic.


The brothers were bound to each other
and had no eyes left for another,
so they hunted their demons
and scattered their semen (!)
and Dean hit on bar-babes as cover.


The boys are such hotties-- we lick them!
Though some readers say no-- Wincest squicks them!
But we do what we must
to write Pant, Moan and Thrust
and we honestly can't seem to "Quit" Them.


----- this one is appalling, be warned -----

A clever young lad (call him Sam)
thinks the hunting life ain’t worth a damn.
Though he does it, it’s tiring
(not like law books), expiring
his patience. At pranks—- he da’ man!

Tags:
 
 
 
Jessy Bootsjess_darkwater on June 8th, 2006 07:21 pm (UTC)
You are absolutely brilliant =D

That made my day =D
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on June 8th, 2006 07:46 pm (UTC)
:D

Aren't they dreadful? Hee! ♥
jellicle on June 8th, 2006 07:36 pm (UTC)
Can you hear that? The ovation? Can you!
Perfect!

And I can't believe the evil eyed monster hit the LJ world like that. It's so stupid.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on June 8th, 2006 07:49 pm (UTC)
They're horrific, aren't they? But of course... that is mandatory for limericks!

And I can't believe the evil eyed monster hit the LJ world like that. It's so stupid.
I honestly don't know what gets into people. Why have "not reading" or "ignoring" stopped being options?

Humor and painful quantities of kindess are the best defense. :D

Oh, and bad rhymes are the best offense, really. None can withstand them!
ezgal on June 8th, 2006 07:43 pm (UTC)
The brothers were bound to each other
and had no eyes left for another,
so they hunted their demons
and scattered their semen (!)
and Dean hit on bar-babes as cover.



bwah!

*SNUGGLES IT*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean slashhalfshellvenus on June 8th, 2006 07:50 pm (UTC)
Heh-heh. It's bad AND truthy all at once. ;)
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on June 8th, 2006 08:50 pm (UTC)
Beer... all over my keyboard
! Yay! I think.

I still laugh about that whole steam shower thing. Dean, Dean-- what's up with that, man? ;)
Entendre? Make mine a double.: SN Dean squee by quietdiscerningdeirdre_c on June 9th, 2006 04:32 am (UTC)
Score! \o/
These are awesome!!
The Dean, queen and demon, semen rhymes CRACKED ME UP!

And I loved the last one. I always am a sucker for ones whose lines don't scan exactly (oh, and for Sam). *g*

Thanks for bringing teh funneh! :D
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on June 9th, 2006 05:39 am (UTC)
The Dean, queen and demon, semen rhymes CRACKED ME UP!
There's a certain amount of evil in both those choices of rhyming. Heh!

And I loved the last one. I always am a sucker for ones whose lines don't scan exactly (oh, and for Sam). *g*
It's evil partly because of the blatant MIS-use of the limerick line form. But... I do it because I can. And to make the rhyming that much more dreadful.

Glad you liked these-- we can always use a good laugh, heaven knows! :)
BEWARE OF JENMAR.: SPN - Ha! - Sammyclex_monkie89 on June 9th, 2006 01:31 pm (UTC)
These are awesome and I may try and memorize a few to keep me giggling when I'm bored.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on June 9th, 2006 03:18 pm (UTC)
XD I'm guessing the "steam shower" one will be the first. :0

God any to add of your own? Did you PBFE, and are you released now?
BEWARE OF JENMAR.: SPN - Writer's Block - SamandDeanclex_monkie89 on June 9th, 2006 07:43 pm (UTC)
XD I'm guessing the "steam shower" one will be the first. :0

How'd you know? :P

God any to add of your own? Did you PBFE, and are you released now?

I am released and it feels amazing. I kinda suck hard at lymrics and poems and anything that requires any sort of rythem at all but I shall try maybe. Odds are it shall suck mighty as though