The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors (halfshellvenus) wrote,
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors

The Real LJ Idol: "Like I Was Sayin'"

Like I Was Sayin'
Real LJ Idol | week seven | 380 words


You work hard all your life, try to get something going—a penny for a rainy day, right? Maybe you manage to carve out a little corner somewhere, a little house on a pretty-good street, nothing fancy. You raise a family of decent kids, even if they hardly ever visit any more, and—

Where do you think you're going? Sit down already, I'm talking. You young people, where're your manners? Always rushing off like you've got someplace else to be…

So, you put the effort in, trust it'll take you somewhere. It might kill you first. Did I ever tell you about my heart? This godawful pain comes out of nowhere, boom. I can hardly breathe—feels like I'm dying. The guys in the ambulance won't tell me what's going on, and I have to wait for this schmuck of a doctor at the hospital to come by, only then it's three hours later. 'Angina,' he says, and tells me to cut down on the stress and start eating the kind of crap rabbits live off of. I said to myself, Wait—I worked like a dog all those years for this? You've got to be kidding me.

If you're lucky, you wind up getting old. That's the big prize waiting around the corner. You wake up old and tired, with bad knees, and your blood pressure's going through the roof. If you don't have a hobby, you'd better get one, 'cause daytime television is for the birds. On the good days, you maybe start with the paper and a cup of coffee, and then you stretch out the chores and errands nice and slow. Before you know it, it's time for the Early Bird discount at Denny's.

The bad days, you wonder how you got here. After my Louise passed on (God rest her soul), I had an awful lot of those. They're no fun, let me tell you.

Grandkids help, so don't skimp on those. Otherwise, you become one of those pathetic fossils, those weirdos with nothing left but a pension and a few inches of dirt, guys who waste their time obsessing over the slightest little—

Hey! Yeah, you, with the clown pants and the stupid hat, I'm talking to you:

Get the hell off my lawn!

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Tags: my_fic, original_fiction, real lj idol
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