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13 November 2011 @ 11:03 am
Real LJ Idol: "But Enough About You..."  
But Enough About You...

The Real LJ Idol | week four | 661 words
What does narcissism have to do with me?

x-x-x-x-x

With what I have to put up with, sometimes it's a wonder I even get out of bed.

At breakfast, Dan started nagging me about using the last of the shampoo and not putting a new bottle in the shower. Honestly, I can't be expected to remember everything. He said it wasn't the first time, but the man loves to exaggerate. I'm sure he's wrong.

The traffic coming into work was slower than a funeral procession. Hello—some of us have places to be! We can't just lollygag down the freeway, hoping to catch a glimpse of Jessica Alba or Kobe Bryant or whoever. Move along, people. Stop stargazing and drive.

My office assistant forgot to pick up my dry cleaning today. She claimed she was distracted by having to take her mother to the emergency room last night, but how does that get my blue Chanel suit here in time for the shareholders' meeting? Plus, she started crying at her desk and making a scene. Talk about unprofessional! I fired her on the spot.

I ran errands at lunch (including a trip to the dry cleaner's, thank you very much), and some woman had the nerve to accost me about donating to a charity for homeless veterans. I told her I wasn't made of money, and I had a schedule to keep. As it was, I just barely managed to stop off and get a venti latte before my manicurist's appointment at one.

So now we're into the afternoon, and I have a ridiculous number of things to do. I have to put an ad together for a new assistant. So inconvenient. After that, I need to go over numbers with Accouting and—hold on, my cellphone's ringing. As if I have time for random interruptions in the middle of a workday!

Oh, it's my daughter, Cassandra. The one who never calls. Seventeen hours in labor and a lifetime of stretchmarks, and she can't pick up a phone once in awhile? Kids these days, I swear…

"Hello, dear, nice to hear from you," I say brightly.

"Hello, Mother. Do you have a minute? I'm calling about Christmas."

Not even, How are you? or How was your trip to Belize? "Christmas," I say.

"Yes." I can practically hear Cassandra fidgeting. "It's only six weeks away, and the baby's due in two. I'd like to get things settled."

"Settled?" I laugh. "What's there to settle—we're having Christmas at the house, of course."

"Mother," Cassandra says (and how I hate it when she takes that tone), "that's half a day's drive for us, and Rob wanted to invite his mother over."

Oh yes, the widow Francine. Dreadfully gloomy. "Well, I'm afraid there just isn't room—she'll have to make other plans. But don't worry about the trip, sweetheart. Babies adore car rides. You always did."

"I got carsick."

"Nonsense. That was just the excitement."

I can hear Cassandra sighing. Always so dramatic… "What Rob and I were really hoping," she says, "was that you and Dan would come here."

"Your house?" Good lord. "Well, I'm sure that's a very nice idea, dear, but it just wouldn't be home. And our house is much more comfortable."

"You've only been living in that house for four years. None of the rest of us ever lived there!"

"Yes, well, that's because your father got the other house in the divorce." Bastard. "But we'll have a lovely time, you'll see. I bought new sheets for the bed in the sewing room just last week, you'll love them."

My office phone buzzed—probably Accounting. "Well, darling, I'm afraid I must go. Promise me the baby won't cry too much while you're visiting? You know how I need my beauty sleep."

*click*

What the—? My own daughter just hung up on me. Unbelievable.

I'm sorry, I know how pregnancy can affect the hormones, but that's just rude.

Ah, well. I'm sure she'll call back and apologize later.



 
 
 
Mars Tokyomarstokyo on November 13th, 2011 07:35 pm (UTC)
Oh YEAH!!!! you nailed it.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 13th, 2011 09:32 pm (UTC)
Thank you! The obliviousness just sets your teeth on edge, doesn't it? Eek!
beldarzfixonbeldarzfixon on November 13th, 2011 09:37 pm (UTC)
And I'm sure she just HATES it when certain other people think only about themselves. Who do they think they are? =)
Excellent entry.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 14th, 2011 03:33 am (UTC)
Or people who make every conversation about them-- so annoying!

And thank you. :D
cindytsuki_no_bara on November 14th, 2011 12:44 am (UTC)
this is perfect for the prompt, seriously. i can really hear this woman's voice in my head.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 14th, 2011 03:34 am (UTC)
And you want to smack her, don't you? Gads, I don't think I've ever written a character that annoyed me as much as this one. Geez.
A Sentient Being: Kitty Tonguealien_infinity on November 14th, 2011 02:07 am (UTC)
I too can hear the narrator's voice in my head, very vividly. :)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 14th, 2011 03:38 am (UTC)
Thank you! What a piece of work, eh? And what's worse, there are people who aren't too far from being exactly like this. I hope never to meet any of them. :0
basric: Basric yin gigbasric on November 14th, 2011 02:21 am (UTC)
That was very narcissistic. Well done.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 14th, 2011 03:40 am (UTC)
Thank you! There are some pieces of truth in there, and I tell you-- people like this just make me tired. Yeesh!
Vice Captain of the Universe: greetestsweeny_todd on November 14th, 2011 04:42 am (UTC)
*snort*

well done!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Bookshalfshellvenus on November 14th, 2011 06:38 am (UTC)
Thank you! Glad you liked it. :D
Vixenvampedvixen on November 14th, 2011 05:31 am (UTC)
Ha! That's exactly how it is dealing with my mother too. At least someone else has been there too!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 14th, 2011 06:40 am (UTC)
Some of this is my Dad, though not quite this bad. Oh, it's exhausting, isn't it? I had a coworker whose mother was just about this bad (complete with phone calls from the stepfather re: "Your mother is very hurt by your behavior...") The guy finally packed up his family and moved two states away to minimize the opportunities to get backed into his mother's traps. Oy.
Marjory Frautsmarjory on November 14th, 2011 04:41 pm (UTC)
I've met her!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 14th, 2011 05:14 pm (UTC)
Haha! And don't you wish you hadn't? :D
the middle of the road's fine with no cars aroundnoodledays on November 14th, 2011 09:06 pm (UTC)
hahaha ouch, very well done!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 14th, 2011 09:33 pm (UTC)
Hee! Thank you! :D
createdestinycreatedestiny on November 15th, 2011 05:03 am (UTC)
Yes! Good job. :)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 15th, 2011 06:28 am (UTC)
Thank you!
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 15th, 2011 06:45 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
Athelas K. Weedmalinaldarose on November 15th, 2011 01:55 pm (UTC)
Wow. I just want to smack this woman, real or not!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 15th, 2011 06:46 pm (UTC)
That's exactly how I feel about her! Never have I hated a created character so much. Gah. Which is the thing about narcissism, I guess-- it only annoys other people, so where is the motivation to change?
solstice_singer on November 15th, 2011 10:20 pm (UTC)
(Grin) This entry fit the prompt perfectly. Really, really nice job.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 16th, 2011 12:47 am (UTC)
Thank you!

People like this are just so aggravating, and they have no idea because, "La la la la la"-- in their world, it really is all about them. :0
Myrnamyrna_bird on November 15th, 2011 10:52 pm (UTC)
Brilliant!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 16th, 2011 12:48 am (UTC)
Thank you very much!
Jessicakf4vkp on November 16th, 2011 03:05 am (UTC)
Well written!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 16th, 2011 07:09 pm (UTC)
Thank you!