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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
halfshellvenus
06 April 2011 @ 04:16 pm
Poetry: Vogon Fragment  
Oh freddled gruntbuggly
thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.

Groop, I implore thee,
my foonting turlingdromes.
And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
see if I don't!

~ Prostetic Vogon Jeltz


From The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy: Vogon poetry is the third worst in the Universe...

Hey, nobody said it had to be GOOD poetry! I think this is a glorious example of awfulness. The most disgusting line here is, "Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes," which sounds like some kind of revolting sexual solicitation combined with a threat, to wit: "See if I don't!"

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11 comments | Say what you feel
 
 
11 comments —
( 11 comments — Say what you feel )
getting the chocolate in the peanut butterdotfic on April 7th, 2011 12:24 am (UTC)
\o/ I love it. Reading it out loud for extra fun.
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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Bad Robothalfshellvenus on April 7th, 2011 12:27 am (UTC)
Hee! I've always wondered what a lurgid bee would be like.

But I'm still absolutely certain that I don't want to groop anyone's foonting turlingdromes.

It's kind of... gloriously gross... isn't it? :D
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getting the chocolate in the peanut butterdotfic on April 11th, 2011 12:25 am (UTC)
Fandom should have a "footing turlingdromes grooping" fest. :D
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realpestilencerealpestilence on April 7th, 2011 01:43 am (UTC)
It's not exactly "Jaberwocky", is it? lol
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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Bad Robothalfshellvenus on April 7th, 2011 03:26 am (UTC)
Haha! Not remotely!

Though, like Jabberwocky, there are parts you feel you almost understand... Except here, you wish you didn't. :0
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Genevieve: bear by ???msgenevieve on April 7th, 2011 10:58 am (UTC)
Ha ha ha ha ha! Hitchhiker's was my ideal of funny when I was in high school. *beams* My favourite line of this one has always been the 'see if I don't!' at the end. Heh.
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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Bookshalfshellvenus on April 7th, 2011 04:56 pm (UTC)
:D I didn't even find out about it until college, when I was introduced via the radio plays (still my favorite)!

The "See if I don't!" is so wrong, in both a poetic sense and, really, ANY sense. :D
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Genevieve: baldrick by bomburjomsgenevieve on April 11th, 2011 09:46 pm (UTC)
Most Aussies my age grew up on a diet of British comedy, so we were bombarded from an early age, lol! I'm with you on the radio plays, btw. Best thing ever!

"Ford, you're turning into a penguin! Stop it!"
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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: heh-hehhalfshellvenus on April 13th, 2011 12:35 am (UTC)
I still quote lines from it even now, though "Hey, you stupid bird" has become "Hey, you stupid cat."

Thanks to that show, I will always think of economics as having the caveat of a Shoe Event Horizon. :D
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shaitanah: evil teashaitanah on April 7th, 2011 05:16 pm (UTC)
The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy is plain made of WIN! XDDD
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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Half Evilhalfshellvenus on April 7th, 2011 06:55 pm (UTC)
It totally is!

I never get tired of it. Not the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal, not the Vogons, and certainly not the rare kind of situation best summed up with a line like,

"Excuse me. I can't help but notice that you seem to have parked your ship... through mine."

\o/
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