Fandom: Iron Man (Movieverse)
Characters: Tony/Rhodey (Slash, Humor)
Summary: The robot either had decaying algorithms, or it was making a suggestion.
Author's Notes: A late birthday ficlet for realpestilence. :)
Also for writers_choice ("Technology").
"What's this?" Tony asked.
"The robot's showing initiative," Rhodey said.
"Impossible. And it has a name, by the way. But Butterfingers has no initiative, his programming isn't that complex. Though he might be confused…" Tony took the robot's offering and set it on the table, then leaned forward to look Butterfingers over. "Do you need re-programming? Is that it? A little time on the table while I rewire your circuits?"
"Look, he's going away now," Rhodey said. "Maybe he's smarter than you think."
"Not a chance."
"So, are we going to use that, or what?"
"Really? You're going to cater to a voyeuristic robot?"
"No!" Rhodey said. "I didn't mean here—that's too damn freaky. But we could go upstairs..."
Tony raised an eyebrow and snatched the container of lube off the table. He grinned as he started to herd Rhodey up the stairs ahead of him.
"So where did he get that from, anyway?" Rhodey asked.
"Probably the bedroom."
Rhodey stopped suddenly, and Tony ran right into him.
"We'll the lock the door, it'll be okay," Tony said.
"What about Jarvis?"
"Jarvis," Tony commanded, "Cease all monitoring activities in the master bedroom."
"And the bathroom," Rhodey added.
"Somebody's feeling adventurous," Tony said. "And the bathroom, Jarvis."
"Confirmed," Jarvis said. "Enjoy yourselves."
"See, now that's what I'm talking about!" Rhodey said. "It's disturbing."
"Knock it off, Jarvis." Tony said. He put his hand on Rhodey's waist. "Better?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"Good." Tony pulled Rhodey close and kissed him with slow, dirty sweeps of his tongue until Rhodey's mouth tingled. Then Tony stopped, and Rhodey shivered as Tony nuzzled along his face before putting his lips next to Rhodey's ear.
"Race you to the bedroom," Tony murmured.
Rhodey was still standing there, flushed and flat-footed, as Tony clattered past him and slammed through the door at the top of the stairs.
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