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24 February 2011 @ 11:21 pm
Iron Man Slash Fiction: "The Corollary Of Concomitant Inspiration" (Tony/Rhodey, PG-13)  
Title: The Corollary Of Concomitant Inspiration
Fandom: Iron Man (Movieverse)
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Tony/Rhodey (Slash, Humor)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The robot either had decaying algorithms, or it was making a suggestion.
Author's Notes: A late birthday ficlet for realpestilence. :)
Also for writers_choice ("Technology").


"What's this?" Tony asked.

"The robot's showing initiative," Rhodey said.

"Impossible. And it has a name, by the way. But Butterfingers has no initiative, his programming isn't that complex. Though he might be confused…" Tony took the robot's offering and set it on the table, then leaned forward to look Butterfingers over. "Do you need re-programming? Is that it? A little time on the table while I rewire your circuits?"

"Look, he's going away now," Rhodey said. "Maybe he's smarter than you think."

"Not a chance."

"So, are we going to use that, or what?"

"Really? You're going to cater to a voyeuristic robot?"

"No!" Rhodey said. "I didn't mean here—that's too damn freaky. But we could go upstairs..."

Tony raised an eyebrow and snatched the container of lube off the table. He grinned as he started to herd Rhodey up the stairs ahead of him.

"So where did he get that from, anyway?" Rhodey asked.

"Probably the bedroom."

Rhodey stopped suddenly, and Tony ran right into him.

"The bedroom?"

"We'll the lock the door, it'll be okay," Tony said.

"What about Jarvis?"

"Jarvis," Tony commanded, "Cease all monitoring activities in the master bedroom."

"And the bathroom," Rhodey added.

"Somebody's feeling adventurous," Tony said. "And the bathroom, Jarvis."

"Confirmed," Jarvis said. "Enjoy yourselves."

"See, now that's what I'm talking about!" Rhodey said. "It's disturbing."

"Knock it off, Jarvis." Tony said. He put his hand on Rhodey's waist. "Better?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Good." Tony pulled Rhodey close and kissed him with slow, dirty sweeps of his tongue until Rhodey's mouth tingled. Then Tony stopped, and Rhodey shivered as Tony nuzzled along his face before putting his lips next to Rhodey's ear.

"Race you to the bedroom," Tony murmured.

Rhodey was still standing there, flushed and flat-footed, as Tony clattered past him and slammed through the door at the top of the stairs.

-------- fin --------

realpestilence: aelfsiden's win!realpestilence on February 25th, 2011 12:40 pm (UTC)
I guess it would be a bit disturbing to have all the AIs and robots in the house being so knowing. Tony's matter-of-factness amuses me-of course he sees no problem, he made them, lives with them...and he's kind of not right in the head, lol.

Well, Rhodey, what are you waiting for? Get in there, man! ;D

Thank you, hon. It's funny and sassy. \0/
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Birthdayhalfshellvenus on February 25th, 2011 05:37 pm (UTC)
I know I'd be bothered by it-- especially by Jarvis, who is everywhere and always "on". :0

Even though Rhodey is also a scientist himself, those are not his own creations, and any sign of excessive interest on their part has got to be disturbing. Hey, there are people who don't like their pets in the room during those intimate times, let alone things with potentially fewer "boundaries."

Well, I'm so glad you liked it! "Sassy" is exactly what I would have hoped for.

Many happy, belated returns! \o/
LadybBlkRose: Stark and his Suitladyblkrose on February 26th, 2011 02:47 am (UTC)
Oh that was so damn cute and inventive. (& I bet you don't need reprogramming either) Yeah, I'd feel a little weirded out is a robot bought me & mine a tube of lube. Either that or I would think that he wanted in on the action, again weird. But I loved the fic and your Tony's reaction to his creation's inventiveness and interactions. They all love their Tony 8D
Thank you for sharing this one, it was just a real smile maker
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: IronManhalfshellvenus on February 26th, 2011 03:53 am (UTC)
Oh, your words were like music! This was such fun to write, and it kind of started itself and then had to wait for feedback from the birthday girl as to whether it could go slashy or not. Butterfingers' offering of lube is more fun (and perhaps more worrisome) than, say, a bottle of beer.

I get such a kick out of Tony's interaction with his robots, including (or even especially) when he insults the poor things.

It all worked in Rhodey's favor, though, didn't it? After an unsettling little detour through the question of exactly how much initiative Butterfingers took, and what that might mean in the larger sense. :0

Thanks for reading and commenting!
marienomadmarienomad on March 1st, 2011 06:55 am (UTC)
I think that Tony's pervertedness has finally been rubbed off onto his robots. That's kinda creepy. Makes me wonder if JARVIS doesn't show off 'home movies' of Tony to the other bots?

Anyway, this is a interesting ficlet.

Sorry, I didn't comment sooner.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: IronManhalfshellvenus on March 1st, 2011 07:07 am (UTC)
Could be! Or that they're learning, based on past actions, what some of the possible (predictable) futures are.

But creepy is right, when it looks as if they're trying to egg Tony and Rhodey on. Tony is far too blase about his robots, so he hardly even notices. :0

Thanks for making the return trip to comment!
hwin_the_horse: Foundhwin_the_horse on March 9th, 2011 01:03 pm (UTC)
They are sooo in-character! You're just awesome, you know that? :)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: IronManhalfshellvenus on March 9th, 2011 07:47 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad you enjoyed this! The two of them are such fun together, and I still firmly have Rhodey 1.0 in my mind for all of these. Darn the recasting of his character! :D
hwin_the_horsehwin_the_horse on March 10th, 2011 11:37 am (UTC)
I know! I was so sad to see Terence Howard replaced :( I like Don Cheadle, but still... To me, Old Rhodey will always be the REAL Rhodey :)