?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
02 February 2011 @ 01:04 pm
SPN Gen Drabbles: "Coots In Cahoots" (Rufus, Bobby, PG)  
Title: Coots In Cahoots
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Rufus, Bobby (Gen, Drabbles, Humor, All-Dialogue)
Rating: PG
Summary: Conversations (or arguments) between two people who put the Can't in cantankerous.
Author's Notes: Written for tsuki_no_bara, as part of her Queensland Flood Auction package. She requested some Bobby and Rufus drabbles, including Rufus in a suit. Who could resist?

x-x-x-x-x

I. The Suit

"Rufus, what the Hell is that supposed to be?"

"Nice to see you too, Bobby. And keep your damn voice down. I'm working."

"As what? You look like an undertaker."

"No shit, dumbass…"

"Really. You said you'd rather die than wear a suit."

"Keep talking like that, Bobby, and you'll be dead. I'm on a job."

"At a funeral."

"I'm chasing a vampire. Or a seutrelat."

"And you're undercover."

"Yes, indeed."

"Huh. You wear that suit to my funeral, and I'll haunt you for eternity."

"Yeah? Well, that goes double for your stupid hat! Just so you know. Jackass."

"Idjit."



II. Scheming

"It's the ass-crack of dawn, Rufus. What the Hell are we doing here?"

"Shhh! Got something I need out of this house."

"What, a visit from the police? Your Mama's wedding dress? If she was even married…"

"Don't talk about my Mama, Bobby Singer. No, this is a selkie skin."

"In North America?"

"In coastal Maine."

"Right. So you're gonna eBay some poor creature's only connection to her other life."

"Don't try making me feel guilty, Bobby, you know that won't work."

"Vulture."

"Shut up!"

"Well?"

"It's possible…"

"Yes?"

"...that there's nothing in that house."

"Thought so."

"Smartass. Let's go."



III. Scentillatious

"Mmm-mmm-mmm. Something smells good."

"So? Just 'cause I'm cooking don't mean I'm cooking for you."

"Bobby Singer, what kind of hospitality is that?"

"Hospitality? You showed up two days ago, and now you won't leave!"

"That's what friendship's about, Bobby. If it was my house, would I treat you like that?"

"Damn right you would. Hell, you have. Remember 2007, or were you too drunk?"

"Hmm. Not my best year… "

"Exactly."

"So, this is a grudge?"

"Maybe… I don't know."

"Huh."

"Guess there might be some extra pancakes."

"They smell mighty tasty."

"Don't butter me up, Rufus."

"Never have..."


-------- fin --------

 
 
 
heliokleia: CAS IC - ANIM - Pretty in 3-2-1heliokleia on February 2nd, 2011 09:46 pm (UTC)
Hahahaha... Thank you, my dear Mme Venus for sharing the loveliest Grumpy Old Men since Lemmon/Matthau and Waldolf/Statler; I'm still giggling over RUFUS in a suit, hehehe...^^
*giggles about image*

"...Something smells good."
- O Rufus!!^^
"Huh. You wear that suit to my funeral, and I'll haunt you for eternity."
- OUCH! Was it really THAT hard to look at, Bobby??^^
*cackles*

Have a good rest of the week, my dear friend.
*huggles*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Laugh SPNhalfshellvenus on February 2nd, 2011 09:49 pm (UTC)
the loveliest Grumpy Old Men since Lemmon/Matthau and Waldolf/Statler

Hahahaha! You're right-- Rufus and Bobby completely belong in that kind of Hall of Fame, don't they? They are SO crabby (even moreso together), and in so much the same way-- they just kill me.

I think tsuki_no_bara really hit on something with the idea of Rufus in a suit, and how very unlike him that would be. It kicked all the rest of this off!

So glad you enjoyed this. Thanks for reading! :)
randomstasis: happyrandomstasis on February 2nd, 2011 11:29 pm (UTC)
Don't really have time to read fic today, but your summary made me laugh hard enough I decided to make time.
Well worth it- these guys are adorable (but don't tell them that- I'd hate to get shot with rock salt)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Supernaturalhalfshellvenus on February 3rd, 2011 12:39 am (UTC)
Yay! I'm glad you decided to take the time. Fortunately, just 3 drabbles, so not an incredibly long story!

I think they're adorable too-- and the whole experience of adoring them in person would be much like cuddling with a hedgehog. Everyone would regret it.

If you even survived letting them know it. ;)
Family Haircut: piepeachpai on February 2nd, 2011 11:32 pm (UTC)
Their banter is so amusing. Love these! XD
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Laugh SPNhalfshellvenus on February 3rd, 2011 12:40 am (UTC)
Hee! Thank you!

I didn't intend these to be all-dialogue when I started, but really, their dialogue is what I love most about the two of them together. God, but they wind each other up. Too much alike, in all the wrong ways! :D
jesseofthenorth: bobby & rufusjesseofthenorth on February 2nd, 2011 11:58 pm (UTC)
I love Bobby and Rufus!
Thanks for this!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Supernaturalhalfshellvenus on February 3rd, 2011 12:47 am (UTC)
Me too-- especially together. My god, but they're a prickly pair!
brigid_tanner: boys-giggle snortbrigid_tanner on February 3rd, 2011 12:41 am (UTC)
LOL!! Those are great!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Laugh SPNhalfshellvenus on February 3rd, 2011 12:47 am (UTC)
Hee! Thank you!
cindy: spn - bobby (by vornieicons)tsuki_no_bara on February 3rd, 2011 12:46 am (UTC)
"jackass"/"idjit" is the rufus/bobby version of "bitch"/"jerk", isn't it. heee. i love these guys - they're my favorite cranky old men.

and also, so that's how you get rufus into a suit. *snicker* and am i the only one imagining bobby wearing an apron in the last one? i love his grudging hospitality.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on February 3rd, 2011 12:51 am (UTC)
i love these guys - they're my favorite cranky old men.
They're so darn funny together. We watched "Weekend at Bobby's" last Friday, because HSH hadn't seen it, and who could pass up a Bobby-centric episode like that? But most of my favorite parts of it had Rufus driving him nuts. And vice-versa.

so that's how you get rufus into a suit.
Yes-- not willingly! For a purpose, but I can't imagine he'd be going to anybody's weddings, and hunters' funerals are probably casual dress (IF they even happen). God forbid Rufus should put on a suit for no reason. :0

i love his grudging hospitality.
Everything about him is grudging, and yet... *carp**moan**bark*... he does tend to give in. ;)

So glad you liked these-- thanks for the great prompt! \o/
roxymissrose: spn bobbyroxymissrose on February 3rd, 2011 01:14 am (UTC)
FABULOUS!!

Rufus and Bobby are my other favorite SpN characters. You absolutely caught the flavor of their interaction--fantastic!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Supernaturalhalfshellvenus on February 3rd, 2011 01:36 am (UTC)
Thank you so much!

Oh, I get such a kick out of these two. And I'm so glad they brought Rufus back in S6. He and Bobby together are just cracktastic. Or maybe I should say, crank tastic. :D
orehime: scissorsorehime on February 3rd, 2011 02:26 am (UTC)
YAY! I love those two \o/
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Supernaturalhalfshellvenus on February 3rd, 2011 05:36 am (UTC)
Thank you! I love them too-- they just crack me up. :)
getting the chocolate in the peanut butter: spn:bobby:badassdotfic on February 3rd, 2011 02:42 am (UTC)
Heee. I just adore them. This is delightful.
The Huntress: Crowley1huntress69 on February 3rd, 2011 05:29 am (UTC)
I just have to say that I love your icon.
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on February 3rd, 2011 05:37 am (UTC) (Expand)
borgmama1of5borgmama1of5 on February 3rd, 2011 03:24 am (UTC)
Just delightful!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Supernaturalhalfshellvenus on February 3rd, 2011 05:39 am (UTC)
Thank you! These two together, I swear they write themselves. :)
The Huntress: Castiel2huntress69 on February 3rd, 2011 05:28 am (UTC)
I am giggling here and I thank you for that. Loved 'em all, but that last one was terrific. They so need their own spinoff.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Laugh SPNhalfshellvenus on February 3rd, 2011 07:10 am (UTC)
Yay-- the more laughter, the better!

When these two get together, you just want to pull up a chair and watch the fireworks go. :)
kat_of_rafterskat_of_rafters on February 3rd, 2011 06:22 pm (UTC)
Hilarious! Great job capturing these guys' old-married-couple-style relationship.

Also, the title is awesome. Along with the Jackass/Idjit bit. They really do parallel the boys well in linguistic tics if nothing else.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Laugh SPNhalfshellvenus on February 3rd, 2011 07:11 pm (UTC)
Glad you enjoyed this!

I had another title in mind right up until Tuesday night, when this one struck me. Bobby and Rufus are coots, and given that all of these are about various mutual schemes and interactions, the second part really fit too.

They are SO much alike, and have so little patience for other people. Maybe especially each other. ;)
Miss Nina Cat: SPN-Bobby Enough crapmsninacat on February 5th, 2011 11:28 am (UTC)
Oh adorable cranky old men!!! ♥ I'm surprised we don't see more of this after them cranking at each other in Weekend at Bobby's. Thanks!!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Supernaturalhalfshellvenus on February 7th, 2011 03:36 am (UTC)
I sure would love to see more of them together-- Rufus' reappearance in Weekend at Bobby's was just priceless. :D

Thanks for reading!
emma_in_oz: Oh Jonathon!emma_in_oz on February 7th, 2011 11:10 pm (UTC)
Loved it!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Supernaturalhalfshellvenus on February 8th, 2011 12:40 am (UTC)
Thank you! :)
layne: dean chesslayne67 on February 8th, 2011 03:47 am (UTC)
Rufus and Bobby love each other. They just don't want to admit it.

:D

Love these!!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Supernaturalhalfshellvenus on February 8th, 2011 04:35 am (UTC)
You're absolutely right! And since it would kill either of them to be nice to someone in any visible way-- especially each other-- that's how it's going to stay. :D