The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors (halfshellvenus) wrote,
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors

SPN Gen Drabbles: "Coots In Cahoots" (Rufus, Bobby, PG)

Title: Coots In Cahoots
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Rufus, Bobby (Gen, Drabbles, Humor, All-Dialogue)
Rating: PG
Summary: Conversations (or arguments) between two people who put the Can't in cantankerous.
Author's Notes: Written for tsuki_no_bara, as part of her Queensland Flood Auction package. She requested some Bobby and Rufus drabbles, including Rufus in a suit. Who could resist?


I. The Suit

"Rufus, what the Hell is that supposed to be?"

"Nice to see you too, Bobby. And keep your damn voice down. I'm working."

"As what? You look like an undertaker."

"No shit, dumbass…"

"Really. You said you'd rather die than wear a suit."

"Keep talking like that, Bobby, and you'll be dead. I'm on a job."

"At a funeral."

"I'm chasing a vampire. Or a seutrelat."

"And you're undercover."

"Yes, indeed."

"Huh. You wear that suit to my funeral, and I'll haunt you for eternity."

"Yeah? Well, that goes double for your stupid hat! Just so you know. Jackass."


II. Scheming

"It's the ass-crack of dawn, Rufus. What the Hell are we doing here?"

"Shhh! Got something I need out of this house."

"What, a visit from the police? Your Mama's wedding dress? If she was even married…"

"Don't talk about my Mama, Bobby Singer. No, this is a selkie skin."

"In North America?"

"In coastal Maine."

"Right. So you're gonna eBay some poor creature's only connection to her other life."

"Don't try making me feel guilty, Bobby, you know that won't work."


"Shut up!"


"It's possible…"


"...that there's nothing in that house."

"Thought so."

"Smartass. Let's go."

III. Scentillatious

"Mmm-mmm-mmm. Something smells good."

"So? Just 'cause I'm cooking don't mean I'm cooking for you."

"Bobby Singer, what kind of hospitality is that?"

"Hospitality? You showed up two days ago, and now you won't leave!"

"That's what friendship's about, Bobby. If it was my house, would I treat you like that?"

"Damn right you would. Hell, you have. Remember 2007, or were you too drunk?"

"Hmm. Not my best year… "


"So, this is a grudge?"

"Maybe… I don't know."


"Guess there might be some extra pancakes."

"They smell mighty tasty."

"Don't butter me up, Rufus."

"Never have..."

-------- fin --------

Tags: all_dialogue, bobby, drabbles, flood_auction_fic, my_fic, rufus, sn_gen
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