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31 December 2010 @ 05:46 pm
White Collar Fiction: "Conversations In The Surveillance Van" (Peter, Neal, PG)  
Title: Conversations In The Surveillance Van
Fandom: White Collar
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Peter, Neal (Gen)
Rating: PG
Summary: It's a restless world inside the surveillance van, at least when Neal's involved.
Author's Notes: A very late birthday present for tsuki_no_bara. Sorry this took so long to finish!

x-x-x-x-x

Peter turned up the volume on the parabolic microphone, hoping he could hear it over the fidgeting sounds behind him. The source of the sounds was the same as always.

Neal.

"How much longer 'til we give up?" Neal finally asked.

Peter's eyes flicked over to him, not for the first time that afternoon. "Tomorrow."

Neal's head whipped up. "Tomorr—"

"Oh come on, Neal," Peter said. "We've only been sitting in this van for an hour."

"Seems longer," Neal mumbled. He shifted around some more, loosening the tie that he wore even when it wasn't necessary.

Peter shook his head. "What is it with you and surveillance, anyway? How did you ever manage to case out galleries and museums for your burglaries, if you have this much trouble on a stakeout?"

Neal sat back in his chair and crossed his ankle over his knee. "If you remember," he said, "I never actually admitted to robbing anything."

"Fine," Peter muttered. He peered more closely at the camera display for the building's side exit. "If you ever theoretically cased out a spot for any reason, how were you able to tolerate the boredom?"

'Ah," Neal said. "Music. Games. Things like that."

"Games," Peter repeated. "Like 'I Spy With My Little Eye'? Or 'Name the Presidents'?"

"Or 'What if?' As in, What if Shelley had had water wings? Or,If you were Freud, what would have been on your bucket list?"

Peter looked at him, aghast.

"Hey, I didn't say we played it often," Neal laughed. "But it helps to have a variety of distractions."

"What about food?" Peter asked.

"Food! Yes—that'd be great."

"I didn't mean now," Peter said. "I meant in general."

"We had food back then," Neal said. "We believed in food."

"You make it sound like I'm starving you," Peter protested. "I brought lunch."

"No offense," Neal said, "but deviled ham is not food. Not in the FDA-approved sense."

"Hah-hah. How'd you know—"

"I smelled it as soon as I got into the van.

"Oh." Peter turned away and fiddled with a couple of knobs. He really liked deviled ham. "Well how about this: I'll buy you lunch as soon as we wrap this thing up."

Neal looked unconvinced. "How long will that—"

"He's coming," Peter interrupted. "There, around the corner."

"Okay, let's do it." Neal tightened his tie and straightened his jacket. "And then lunch—you promised."

"I know I did. Hurry up and get out there, Neal. But make it look casual…."

"I have done this before, Peter."

"Aha!"

Neal rolled his eyes. "In the last two months. You were there."

"Oh." Peter fidgeted. "Yeah."

Neal grabbed the door handle, and delivered his parting shot before stepping outside:

"And lunch, Peter? Think cloth napkins, not a food cart or deli."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

Geez, a few deviled ham sandwiches and he was marked for life.


--------- fin ---------

 
 
 
a rearranger of the proverbial bookshelf: White Collar - Nealembroiderama on January 1st, 2011 02:00 am (UTC)
Heee, this is fun!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: White Collar- Neal & Peterhalfshellvenus on January 2nd, 2011 04:16 am (UTC)
Thank you! Poor Peter, annoyed and dissed in the same day. :)
cindy: wc - burke. peter burke. (by bitterbird)tsuki_no_bara on January 1st, 2011 07:53 am (UTC)
heeee! poor peter, stuck in the stakeout van with mr impatient&fidgety. i love the appearance of the deviled ham, and also that neal used to keep himself entertained on stakeouts by contemplating freud's bucket list. and the bickering is of course adorable.

and i would never complain about a late birthday fic! especially since i liked this one a lot. thank you! :D
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: White Collar- Neal & Peterhalfshellvenus on January 2nd, 2011 04:18 am (UTC)
I started this soon after your birthday, but it didn't finish right away and the tidal wave of challenge-fics waylaid it. Finally, it's done-- and was what I was aiming for all along.

So glad you liked it! Neal's issues with the surveillance van will just never stop cracking me up. That suave falls right off onto the floor when the boredom really strikes. :)
TeeJay: Neal - LOLtj_teejay on January 2nd, 2011 12:47 am (UTC)
LOL! Excellent. You nail the dialogue perfectly! My favorite?

"What about food?" Peter asked.

"Food! Yes—that'd be great."


I can so hear and see it! Great job!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: White Collar- Neal & Peterhalfshellvenus on January 2nd, 2011 04:39 am (UTC)
So glad you liked it! I imagine Peter has a lot of semi-frustrating conversations with Neal, which is why they're all the more entertaining. Not to mention the mocking of his food and wardrobe choices. ;)
dragonfly.dreamwidth.org on January 2nd, 2011 01:56 am (UTC)
Lovely! Just perfect.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: White Collar- Neal & Peterhalfshellvenus on January 2nd, 2011 04:39 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! :)
kriadydragon: Beastkriadydragon on January 2nd, 2011 02:19 am (UTC)
Heee :D Silly boys and their surveillance blues ;)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: White Collar- Neal & Peterhalfshellvenus on January 2nd, 2011 04:40 am (UTC)
I suspect surveillance didn't used to be quite so bad for Peter before the nagging and the constant reminders of how boring it actually is. :0
Ursula4x: Burke FBI wants you Nealursula4x on January 2nd, 2011 04:01 am (UTC)
That van can be the scene of so much entertainment for us and so little for Neal.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: White Collar- Neal & Peterhalfshellvenus on January 2nd, 2011 04:41 am (UTC)
Hahaha! No kidding. Though I can't entirely blame him-- I never go anywhere I might have to wait around without a book in hand, because the boredom will practically kill you.

And in this case, the side-effects of it are nearly killing Peter. ;)
.afiawri on January 3rd, 2011 03:17 pm (UTC)
Oh, wow, I love how you had the banter pivoting on misunderstandings and how smoothly they flowed through it. And that last line is too perfect!
getting the chocolate in the peanut butter: whitecollar: neal's sideways lookdotfic on January 9th, 2011 01:24 am (UTC)
Haha, this is adorable. Neal is a lot like a restless kid sometimes.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: White Collar- Neal & Peterhalfshellvenus on January 9th, 2011 09:03 pm (UTC)
So glad you liked it!

I think surveillance-- and especially the van-- probabaly brings out the absolute worst in him.

Not that I remotely understand why (*fidgets over memory of 8-hour 1-way trip back from Oregon last week*). ;)
realpestilencerealpestilence on April 13th, 2011 09:17 pm (UTC)
I wouldn't be lulled by deviled ham, either.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: White Collar- Neal & Peterhalfshellvenus on April 13th, 2011 09:25 pm (UTC)
:D Nor me!

In fact, I'd be as suspicious of its eventuality as Neal is.

It points to a certain tendency to... aim low... in the fine foods deparment, one might say. ;)