?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
05 December 2010 @ 08:41 pm
Burn Notice Fiction: "Break Out The Ammo And Eggnog" (PG)  
Title: Break Out The Ammo And Eggnog
Fandom: Burn Notice
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Sam, Michael, Fiona (Gen)
Rating: PG
Summary: Not your typical celebration, but close enough.
Author's Notes: For usanetwork_las and the prompt of "What X really wanted for Christmas."
Also for writers_choice ("Gift").

x-x-x-x-x

It was ten o'clock on Christmas morning. Michael and Fi were arguing in Fi's kitchen, while Sam tried to clean up the living room before Madeline arrived. The whole thing had the feel of one of their operations, and Sam's job was familiar: he was hiding the evidence.

He and Michael and Fi had agreed to meet up early (too early, in Sam's book) and open presents, finishing up well before Madeline came over for dinner. Or lunch. Or pre-dinner dinner. Whatever you wanted to call it.

They'd hoped to avoid awkward explanations about what a group of not-completely-ex-spies considered to be gifts. By hosting the dinner celebration at Fi's, they also sidestepped the issue of Madeline doing any cooking. Come to think of it, that last part might have been the real goal after all. Sam thought the world of Madeline—they all did—but her cooking was a total bust.

Sam finished stuffing the last leftover shred of wrapping paper into a garbage bag, and tossed the bag in Fi's bedrooom closet. Then he got the vacuum cleaner out of the guest room and dragged it into the living room.

Michael and Fi were working on the Christmas feast, which didn't seem to be going particularly well. Fi was the only one of them who cooked on a regular basis, meaning more than once a month, with or without using the microwave. The rumor was that she had actual knowledge of some kind, which beat Michael's devotion to beer and yogurt and outweighed Sam's semi-skills with sandwiches and breakfast.

Regardless, it had to be better than oversalted food with an undertaste of cigarette smoke and ash. Assuming it ever got finished:

"That's probably the most disturbing thing I've ever seen you do, Fi."

"Well perhaps you'd like to give it a try. No? I didn't think so. Just hold the end open while I put the stuffing in, and you can complain about it later."

"Should you really be using that much parsley?"

"If you'd like to be the cook, then just say so, Michael. Is that it? Would you like to be in charge? Because you're really pushing it!"

Sam turned on the vacuum cleaner to block out the noise, suddenly feeling lucky that he'd pulled cleanup instead of kitchen duty. Confrontation wasn't his thing.

Something glinted just under the sofa, and he stopped vacuuming to pick it up. It was a bullet—part of the Russian artillery he'd given Fi. She'd run her fingers over the whole stash, just itching to try it out. Must've dropped this one. Sam pocketed it for the moment. Not that Madeline would even have been surprised by it, but it didn't exactly help cement the Christmas mood.

He'd given Michael a bottle of brandy and a utility knife. It took a huge amount of willpower not to buy Michael a sofa or even a new chair, something that wouldn't threaten to collapse or jab you with springs when you sat on it. But Michael probably wouldn't have taken that too well.

Madeline had been a challenge, too. Sam went with vodka and a box of chocolates, thinking she'd probably be okay with that. Between her earrings and the way she'd gone nutso over those curtains from that sleazebag Strickler, Sam had decided he had no chance of ever figuring out her tastes. So, what the hell then—might as well play it safe.

Fi and Michael's gifts to him were sure bets, but who didn't know he liked good booze and a nice box of Cuban cigars? He planned to break both of those out later tonight, maybe sit on the balcony and watch the stars.

Besides, what he really wanted wasn't the kind of thing someone else could get for him. Hell, if it was easy, he'd have tracked it down himself by now. So he'd keep touring the coffee shops and clothes boutiques and bars, hoping to meet someone special. Fi and Michael thought it was all about the Sugar Mamas, but those women were generous and pretty and they knew how to have fun. Was it so bad, just wanting someone you enjoyed being with and thinking maybe things might continue into a full-blown romance? If it was, Sam was as guilty as the next guy.

The vacuuming was done, and things looked pretty good. Nice, but casual—like he and Michael had just gotten there a few minutes ago.

"Need any help in the kitchen?" he called out.

"Damn it!" Fi said, and Sam heard something break.

"Sorry," he yelled. Hey, at least he'd offered, right?

He moved the chairs back into position and put the vacuum away. Madeline would be there in about twenty minutes, but for now there was nothing left to do but wait.

Good deal, he thought, sitting down on the couch and turning the TV on low. The sounds of clanking, chopping, and occasional bickering escaped the kitchen, and even if it wasn't Norman Rockwell or a honeymoon in the Bahamas, Sam was happy.

This was his family, one way or another, and he was pretty damned lucky to have them.


-------- fin -------

 
 
 
olivia j: [bn] fiona far awayolivia_j on December 6th, 2010 08:28 pm (UTC)
Aw, this made me tear up a little bit! I am not fond of christmas and usually dislike christmas stories, so to make me go all melty and 'aw' is quite the achievement! Perfect voices for the three of them and just generally and entirely lovely.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Burn Notice Flamingohalfshellvenus on December 6th, 2010 08:40 pm (UTC)
Oh, your comments were love!

I'm not fond of Christmas stories either (writing OR reading), and when I got this writing prompt, I kind of blanched. :0

That you found it successful and moving after all of that was a joy to hear. Thank you!

Lisa: burn notice: team superspymeridian_rose on December 6th, 2010 08:31 pm (UTC)
So lovely :) Everyone was so in character with the bickering and the chore division and the stray bullet in the sofa. Love the gifts and the reasoning behind them. I agree completely about Maddie's cooking and the cigarette smoke! Sam's planned evening sounded lovely and the closing moments where he reflects how they're all family was perfect :)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Burn Notice Flamingohalfshellvenus on December 6th, 2010 08:57 pm (UTC)
So glad you enjoyed this-- I see you have a broad range of fandom loves too!

I agree completely about Maddie's cooking and the cigarette smoke!
The way everyone is afraid of her cookies is very telling. Who doesn't (ordinarily) like homemade cookies? :0

Sam seemed like a great choice for this prompt, because we all know what Michael really wants (it comes up nearly every week), and I've written often enough about what Fi wants. But Sam has a deeper side than we usually see, and he's so much fun to write in general!
petunia846: BN-Don't Mess w/Sampetunia846 on December 6th, 2010 10:02 pm (UTC)
That was cute! At first when I read the part about Sam finding something glinting under the couch I thought the story was going to go in a very different direction...ha! I like the actual direction though. It's not a side of Sam that we often get to see.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Burn Notice Flamingohalfshellvenus on December 6th, 2010 10:25 pm (UTC)
At first when I read the part about Sam finding something glinting under the couch I thought the story was going to go in a very different direction...ha!

Oh, heavens no. It's hard enough for me to write a Christmas OR birthday story, but that kind of story on top of it... just isn't in me! I'd have to hang up my NoRo hat for good. ;)

I'm glad you weren't disappointed with where things went. I love Sam, and of all the people who might have a "hidden" and non-obvious Christmas wish, he seemed the best choice. Plus, another chance to write his POV! There's no downside to that. :D
Shadow Flying In Daylight: Aw snapsistahraven on December 7th, 2010 02:48 am (UTC)
D'awwwwww.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Burn Notice Flamingohalfshellvenus on December 7th, 2010 03:59 am (UTC)
Yay! Glad you enjoyed it! :)
In here, everything is beautiful...rise_your_dead on December 7th, 2010 03:57 am (UTC)
I'm absolutely in love with your Sam POV here! He's amazing and IC. I'm kill'd dead by Fi and Mike trying to cook together, and Sam's choices for gifts for everyone. This is just WONDERFUL, and the right amount of cozy and snarky and even a little bit edgy for a BN fic. Bravo, am recing this one!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Burn Notice Sam&Michaelhalfshellvenus on December 7th, 2010 04:05 am (UTC)
Oh, I was hoping you'd find this one, because I remember how much you love Sam. Yay, Sam!

Michael and Fi's kitchen semi-disaster seemed perfect for them, because Michael's pretty far out of his element and Fi probably isn't enjoying the pressure, and between the two of them that makes for two Type-A personalities generating friction instead of cooperation. ;)

And I'm so glad you noticed Sam's gifts. I think he is far more thoughtful than he usually likes people to believe (just as he's smarter than he often lets on), and he really is a true-blue friend. Love him.

I'm thrilled that you liked this one so much. It was a tough one to write-- exactly the kind of prompt that gives me fits, because Christmas/birthday stories are so often a recipe for shmaltz and I kind of have an aversion to the whole idea!
In here, everything is beautiful...rise_your_dead on December 9th, 2010 05:38 am (UTC)
Aww, I adore this fic, so i'm glad i found it!

Hee, I can so picture them having a fight over the meal, too. And Michael insisting there aren't enough herbs in it, etc.

I know, that's why I'm disappointed the only time we've ever seen Sam give gifts was in the Michael's birthday ep. And then he gave him a five-pack. Yes, he's so my favorite.

You did perfectly - sometimes it's hard to balance out the snark/action/angst of a show like this with a Christmas story, and you definitely did it!
misura: Burn Notice - three gunsmisura on December 7th, 2010 10:07 am (UTC)
Lovely and quite Christmmassy for these three, I felt.

And I think I have a total soft spot for Fiona doing domestic things.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Burn Notice Flamingohalfshellvenus on December 7th, 2010 05:47 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much!

And I think I have a total soft spot for Fiona doing domestic things

I like the idea of her doing them fiercely, too, because that is so totally like her. Her truly soft side seems to exist only in unleavened form for Michael (when she's not smacking him out of frustration) and children, which just makes me love her more. :)
sassyinkpensassyinkpen on December 15th, 2010 05:06 pm (UTC)
I really enjoyed this - I love the feeling of Christmas in Florida anyway, and this worked for me.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Burn Notice Flamingohalfshellvenus on December 17th, 2010 01:25 am (UTC)
Thank you! I love the thought of the ex-spy faction celebrating an ordinary holiday in their own slightly off-center fashion, too. :)