The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors (halfshellvenus) wrote,
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
halfshellvenus

SPN Gen Fiction: "The Turkey Apocalypse" (Dean, Sam, Castiel, PG)

Title: The Turkey Apocalypse
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Dean, Sam, Castiel (Gen, All-Dialogue, Humor)
Rating: PG
Summary: Any holiday can become excruciating as long as you know the right people…
Author's Notes: A late birthday present for lampshade_days, whom I hope will forgive the seasonal setting given that Canadians have a version of this holiday too.

x-x-x-x-x

"Hello, Dean."

"Castiel. Have you come to join us for dinner?"

"This body does not require sustenance."

"Huh. That's not what you said last year."

"I'm afraid I… Dean. Why do all these people eat the same meal?"

"It's Thanksgiving. We have a holiday tradition."

"So the people leave their homes to go in search of identical foods. I believe I have heard of this. It is called a zombie invasion."

"No. It's just—most people have Thanksgiving at home with their families. But some people like Sammy and me don't have homes, or maybe they're traveling like we are, so they—"

"Join the zombie hordes."

"No."

"What purpose does the red part serve? Does it symbolize blood?"

"It's cranberry sauce."

"Sauces are liquids, Dean. This is a solid."

"Just be glad it isn't a log. Hi, guys."

"Hello, Sam. I see you have also chosen to celebrate the zombie tradition."

"What zombies?"

"Enough with the zombies already, Cas! Are you eating with us or not?"

"I have not decided yet."

"Yeah? Well until then, decide somewhere else."

"As you wish…"

"Jeez, Dean, that was rude."

"Fine. Next time, you be the one to educate the angel about Thanksgiving."

"I'm sure it wasn't that bad."

"I lost my appetite for pie, Sam."

"Oh. I stand corrected."

"Exactly. Let's sit over there."

"So what was that thing about zombies?"

"I swear to God, Sammy, the next person who talks about zombies is going to be wearing this pie."

"I see."

"Yeah."

"Well. Happy Thanksgiving then, Dean."

"Sure thing, Sammy. You too."


-------- fin --------

Tags: all_dialogue, birthday, dean vs. castiel, holiday, my_fic, sn_gen
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  • 32 comments

  • Whew!

    Breathing a big sigh of relief that Biden's Presidential Inauguration concluded smoothly. I wasn't able to watch it, so I'll have to hunt down…

  • Gross /o\

    I know my feelings about this are probably related to that "hole" phobia (whatever that is), but Ewwwwww. That is a so-called "Coffee Table"…

  • Discombobulated

    I was thinking today about how much I wished viagra lived closer, so I could go hiking with him—except that he's in Florida, on the other…