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05 May 2006 @ 12:58 pm
Supernatural "There and Back Again" Gen Drabbles  
Title: Turn and Return
Author: HalfshellVenus
Category: Sam and Dean (Gen, Drabbles)
Rating: PG
Summary: 4x100 Drabbles for supernatural100’s “There and Back Again” challenge. These are in no particular order.

x-x-x-x-x

Once Was Lost (Dean, “Faith”)
The current jittered, nearly paralyzing him, but Dean hung tight until the creature was dead. The children were safe. That almost made up for how damned tired he suddenly felt.

His vision was fuzzy, turning black as the cellar faded from view. A warm breeze swept through, clean and soothing now in the yellow-orange light of midday. Barely remembered feelings surfaced— childhood adventures with promise-filled afternoons ahead. It was carefree and perfect; Dean laughed in sudden joy.

When voices broke through, his Paradise faded. In a gray and hopeless room, the grace of machines helped his heart stutter on.


Impermanence (Sam)
Sam had no trouble settling into college. He’d had a roommate all his life, and he knew how to live on almost nothing. People took to him, professors liked him. It was everything he’d loved about school, without the threat of running off overnight.

He’d missed Dean, and sometimes Dad. But getting deep inside homework, keggers and coffeeshops was like living in heavenly bliss. And he’d loved—so openly and unreservedly. It was every fairytale he’d ever read.

It haunts him now, back on the road with Dean again. College was a fable that might have happened… but didn’t last.


The Illusion of Home (Dean)
Dean was five when they left Lawrence. John struggled with work and a place to live while looking for clues to Mary’s death. When he realized the demon was already gone, John packed up the family and began searching.

This town is the cradle of Dean’s childhood. Its muddy creek/Lego fortress/birthday party pieces of time flit through his head in still-shots of happiness.

The child-Dean was laid to rest here with his mother, and a warrior rose in his stead. Standing before that house—its legacy of lost-innocence— the child is reborn now in the silence of a frightened heart.


Inescapable (Sam)
Darkness stretches along the highway, broken roars and screams crowding in from all sides. There is nothing tangible here— nothing living, dead, or paranormal— to explain the horrors Sam hears. His view spins, spanning the whole of his surroundings, but no answers are being revealed.

He will lose this one, he knows it— without some hint, he’ll never find it in time to defeat it. He wanders the highway, buffeted by deaths he can sense but not prevent.

Breathless, tired, his legs move bonelessly beneath him.

When Sam awakes to Dean’s questioning eyes, he’s still trapped inside Nightmare? Or Vision?


-------- fin --------

 
 
 
jellicle on May 5th, 2006 08:19 pm (UTC)
:( That's how I'm feeling now.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on May 5th, 2006 08:49 pm (UTC)
Sorry! Does that mean you've finally seen the Finale too? Because now I really feel that way. :(

Although I did have all of these outlined before watching it...
Entendre? Make mine a double.: Beauty Samdeirdre_c on May 5th, 2006 08:41 pm (UTC)
*sigh* Impermanence reminds me of how I feel about college, too. It was too good to be true.

And this is a wonderful image, very mythic...
The child-Dean was laid to rest here with his mother, and a warrior rose in his stead.

Thanks for sharing!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on May 5th, 2006 08:51 pm (UTC)
And this is a wonderful image, very mythic...
The child-Dean was laid to rest here with his mother, and a warrior rose in his stead.

And it's one of the things that so saddens me about Dean. He had a good childhood for awhile, and then all of it was taken from him when his mother died. Some part of him has to still miss it, even though he never says so.
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on May 5th, 2006 08:55 pm (UTC)
After reading these drabbles I feel a sudden, unmoving weight on my chest. And even though the 1st drabble has fleeting contentment - *joy* is too strong a description - I think it's the most wrenching in that Dean's pain is almost too palpable, his hope dashed in the instant it takes to open your eyes.

They are pretty depressing, all of them. That's what the theme brought out in me (given their lives). The places they've visited but not stayed are the happy ones. Their everyday lives, that form their own pattern... those most definitely are NOT happy.

The first drabble in part is an awakening to the reader, because all of US are thinking "Don't give up so easily! You still have Sam, and he needs you." But it doesn't take into account the idea that Dean might have seen something worth staying for on the other side. I'm kind of... a Devil's Advocate that way. Plus it still endlessly bothers me how pissy and resigned Dean was, so I keep explaining possible reasons for it.
BEWARE OF JENMAR.: SPN - Big Damn Heroes - Sam and Deanclex_monkie89 on May 5th, 2006 09:21 pm (UTC)
God the way you write and the complete beauty of it never fails to amaze me. I love this so much.

I really can't pick one I like best but I think this may be my fvaorite part:

The child-Dean was laid to rest here with his mother, and a warrior rose in his stead. Standing before that house—its legacy of lost-innocence-- the child is reborn now in the silence of a frightened heart.

It's just so poetic and right and I can see it.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on May 5th, 2006 10:03 pm (UTC)
God the way you write and the complete beauty of it never fails to amaze me.
Eeeep! You make me so happy in all the bestest ways. :D

It's just so poetic and right and I can see it.
That seems to be the one that is striking people the hardest out of all of these. Out of the three of them, because he was a child when they left (with a child's memories and fears), I think Lawrence was hardest for Dean to return to.
BEWARE OF JENMAR.clex_monkie89 on May 6th, 2006 12:13 am (UTC)
Eeeep! You make me so happy in all the bestest ways. :D

It's true you just... I honestly think I would read het if you wrote it. You're that good.

That seems to be the one that is striking people the hardest out of all of these. Out of the three of them, because he was a child when they left (with a child's memories and fears), I think Lawrence was hardest for Dean to return to.

I agree, Sam was just a baby so he doesn't have any memories of the place but Dean? Dean has four or five years of fuzzy memories of Mom and "Daddy" to sting him.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on May 6th, 2006 11:10 pm (UTC)
It's true you just... I honestly think I would read het if you wrote it. You're that good.
Wow-- HUGE compliment. Because I feel the same way about het as you do. I can barely bring myself to read it, but once in awhile for a given author... I'll brave the waters. ;)
Natasha: X5-494missmonkeydust on May 5th, 2006 09:34 pm (UTC)
I need a hug *sniffle*

Reading this after watching Devil's Trap is not good for your health.

Really well written.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on May 5th, 2006 10:05 pm (UTC)
Reading this after watching Devil's Trap is not good for your health.
Sorry! *big hugs* I know what you mean. I can't believe that Sword of Damocles is how we're ending Season 1. And there had so better be a season 2.

So glad you liked them, despite the "Ouch". Thank you.
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on May 5th, 2006 10:08 pm (UTC)
That line, right there. That is Dean. One of the many oh-so-in-character Deans being written in fandom, but I love that view of thim.
Thank you. :) There is so much depth to his character-- far moreso that we would have suspected from the first few episodes. And don't we feel for what he's been through, and what's to come...

Very glad you enjoyed these-- thanks!
Amymellaithwen on May 5th, 2006 10:14 pm (UTC)
The child-Dean was laid to rest here with his mother, and a warrior rose in his stead. Standing before that house—its legacy of lost-innocence-- the child is reborn now in the silence of a frightened heart.

Well now THAT almost made me cry, awesome
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on May 5th, 2006 10:21 pm (UTC)
Thank you, mellaithwen! We saw, at that gas station, how terribly hard it was for Dean to go back to Lawrence-- and he admitted as much to Sam, which he never does.

This gives us some idea of why. He lost more there than Sam or John have ever realized.
Amymellaithwen on May 5th, 2006 10:23 pm (UTC)
and in Salvation, he's barely holding it together and then Devil's Trap

*weeps*

excuse me
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on May 5th, 2006 10:28 pm (UTC)
*Hands you Kleenex*

No apologies needed. We were all there, dying right along with you and Dean's weary, tentative heart. *sniffle* I know he pushes them back when he shouldn't, but would it kill either of them to love him more explicitly? Strongly enough to fend off at least some of the doubts that move in at every opportunity? *Sigh*
Amymellaithwen on May 5th, 2006 10:55 pm (UTC)
I know! John was a frickin' ARGH, he expects Sam to shoot him then in the car, not once does he turn around to look at Dean in the backseat. Not once, not ONCE!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on May 6th, 2006 11:03 pm (UTC)
then in the car, not once does he turn around to look at Dean in the backseat. Not once, not ONCE!
And this is why what the demon said about Sam being the favored son hurts so much. It has the ring of truth. :(
Preocupied with a rubber chewy  bonekrisomniac on May 5th, 2006 10:54 pm (UTC)
Those were really wonderful.

the grace of machines helped his heart stutter on.


Lovely rhythm to that line.

And Sam's Impermanence, what wonderful nostalgia.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on May 6th, 2006 11:04 pm (UTC)
the grace of machines helped his heart stutter on.
I'm glad you noticed that line-- it's one of my favorites, and it doesn't seem to have caught anyone else's attention.

So glad you enjoyed these-- thank you! And what a cute icon. :D
muiting on May 6th, 2006 01:56 am (UTC)
Oh my goodness! What lovely drabbles! There is an added poignancy to them as I read them when I think about "Devil's Trap". You got Sam and Dean just right!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on May 6th, 2006 11:08 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much! :)

is an added poignancy to them as I read them when I think about "Devil's Trap".
It just makes them hurt all the more, doesn't it? No-one in that family is entirely doing what he wants, and all of them have lost so much.

Sam and Dean... both so very battered and compelling. We could write them forever, and still be intrigued by them.
alazysod on May 7th, 2006 02:01 am (UTC)
Mm, loved these, especially: Standing before that house—its legacy of lost-innocence-- the child is reborn now in the silence of a frightened heart in The Illusion of Home.

There's something utterly poetic about your writing. I adore it.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on May 7th, 2006 02:46 am (UTC)
I think the two Dean ones are the best of this bunch, though I love the sad ending to "Impermanence."

"Illusion of Home"-- and every painful part of Dean's dread, and then the encounter with his mother as she walks right on past him-- just aches months after watching that episode.

There's something utterly poetic about your writing. I adore it.
Eeee! That makes my day. :D

It's odd, too, because I so much like your style, and liberateourtime's and aspen_snow's. And I can't always put my finger on it (except that aspen_snow's strikes me as 'crystalline'), but yet it's different from mine and also likely not a way I'd be able to write. If I knew why it was different, I'd have a better chance of approximating it.