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03 May 2006 @ 10:50 pm
Supernatural Slash Fanfiction: Space Invasion  
Title: Space Invasion
Author: HalfshellVenus
Category: Sam/Dean (Wincest, PWP, Humor, Dialogue-only Fic)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A ghost hunt gone bad leaves Sam and Dean with some time on their hands.


x-x-x-x-x

“Ow! Watch the knee, Sam!”

“Hello—a little crowded here.”

“If you’d stop fidgeting, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.”

“I hate this. I hate being stuck in the damn closet.”

“Really? In the closet, huh? Is it because all your girly emotions are just dying to get out and run free?”

“What? No. I’m not talking about that.”

“Oh—I thought you had something important to tell me.”

“No! And if either of us has a problem, it’s you—Mr. Overcompensation.”

“Ooh, big college word. Is that a Psych 101 special?”

“Please, Dean—even you have to know how obvious that behavior looks.”

“What, the endless supply of gorgeous women just waiting to be discovered? What’s it look like when I’m rolling around with three babes at once, having the time of my life—huh?”

“Like you’re a slut who’d better be using protection, that’s what.”

“Hey! I’m careful. I’m not leaving baby Deans all over the country.”

“Like we’d ever know. It’s not like we stay in one place long enough to see the outcome of your bazillion one-night stands.”

“Jealous?”

“Hardly.”

“Yeah, right. Because that’s your gun poking me in the back there, and not your dick.”

“I hate being wedged up against this damned dresser! What kind of freak puts a dresser in a closet? There’s no room in here!”

“Well let me just shift a little, and—Sam? Did you just moan?”

“No…”

Really?

“Dean! Stop grinding back into me like that!”

“Okay—I’ll turn around.”

“Don’t!”

“Oh, yeah, much better. Yeah. Niiice.”

“Quit humping my leg!”

“Hey, who brought the wood to the party to begin with, huh? I’m just returning the favor.”

“Yeah, well, quit—oh. Ohhhhh.”

“Mmm, you like that, huh? How about this?

“I—you wouldn’t—oh—god.”

“Ooh, you’re so sensitive. Nipples, neck… mmm, salty.”

Oh… yes… Do it.

“Say it, Sammy.”

“I—”

“Say. It.”

“Dean, just—god! Mmph! Mmmmmmmmm.”

“Nghghghghgh-mmmmmmmmm.”



“I can’t believe you kissed me.”

“Says the guy grabbing my ass! What, it wasn’t good?”

“No, just—you know. We shouldn’t… I don’t… We can never do that again.”

“Geez, that must be a record. You went from Zero to Issues in under a minute.”

“I’m serious!”

“Whatever, dude. I’m not the one who’s living like a priest here—I can find my own fun.”

“Can we not talk about this, Dean?”

“You’re the one that brought it up! Okay, fine—would you mind removing your hands, then?”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“Yeah. Okay then. Moving on… do you think we can leave now?”

“Depends. Is there a floor out there yet?”

“Let me just… nope.”

“I can’t believe you forgot the salt.”

“I didn’t forget it—it’s in the car.”

“Where it’s doing a great job of helping us out right now!”

“Well, I can’t do anything about that, so we’re just going to have to wait.”

“I’m sick of waiting—my legs are getting tired.”

“Well, we could make it worth our while…”

“What did I just say about never doing this again?”

“You can get all high and mighty about that tomorrow. Right now, though, save your breath for other things.”

“Is it the ghosts that are doing this to you? It’s like you’re on automatic refresh.”

“Will you stop overthinking everything for two minutes! Who the hell cares? Just shut up and kiss me.”

“I still don’t think—”

“Yeah, well quit it then. Your thinking isn’t helping anything right now.”

“Freak.”

“Bitch.”

“So not getting in the mood now.”

“Yeah? Well let me fix that. I’ll just—”

Ohhh… God, you fight dirty.”

“You’re damn right. Better?”

Yes…”

“Good, now just lean down a little and—”

“Mmmmmm.”

“Mmm-hmm.”



--------- fin ---------



 
 
 
Sorrel, the artist formerly known as goddessleilasorrelchestnut on May 4th, 2006 06:36 am (UTC)
“Geez, that must be a record. You went from Zero to Issues in under a minute.”

Best. Line. Ever.

"It’s like you’re on automatic refresh.”

Hee!

Loved this. Cute and hotness. Mmmm, indeed.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean slashhalfshellvenus on May 4th, 2006 04:33 pm (UTC)
Best. Line. Ever.
And so both of them, too ;)

Loved this. Cute and hotness. Mmmm, indeed.
Yay! First ever all-dialogue fic. It was a challenge, but fun!

The Grammarian about whom your mother warned you.acostilow on May 4th, 2006 06:53 am (UTC)
Okay, see, I've tried to do comment porn. Really hard.

And then I burned it, 'cuz it sucked.

This? So incredibly did not suck.

HOT. *dies*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean slashhalfshellvenus on May 4th, 2006 04:35 pm (UTC)
This? So incredibly did not suck.
Heh! Thank you. :D

The "all-dialogue" thing is a challenge, just implying all the details and trying not to confuse anyone. If you do it right, the reader should be able to figure out who's talking just by the tone and not a "Dean" and "Sam" every few lines.

HOT. *dies*
W00t! Your vote always confirms whether it really works or not. *wins*
(no subject) - acostilow on May 4th, 2006 05:21 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Entendre? Make mine a double.: SN Sam gigglingdeirdre_c on May 4th, 2006 10:39 am (UTC)
Mr. Overcompensation. *snort*

Yay. Nice one! What a great way to start the day!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean slashhalfshellvenus on May 4th, 2006 04:36 pm (UTC)
Mr. Overcompensation. *snort*
You know it's crossed our minds before. ;)

What a great way to start the day!
Sex-snark! Perks us up in all the good-wrong places. :D
the only blowup doll bobblehead on the internet: even the boys think it's fun!impertinence on May 4th, 2006 11:25 am (UTC)
HAH. Oh, I loved this. You've got a real gift for writing dialogue.

“Oh, yeah, much better. Yeah. Niiice.”

“Quit humping my leg!”


Hee! I could hear the boys saying all those lines, but that especially was just very them.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean slashhalfshellvenus on May 4th, 2006 04:38 pm (UTC)
HAH. Oh, I loved this. You've got a real gift for writing dialogue.
Thank you! When I first started out on the fan-fiction writing, I avoided dialogue like the plague. Going from there to all-dialogue is a big change for me. :)

Hee! I could hear the boys saying all those lines, but that especially was just very them.
Heh. Dean is so very rude sometimes, and Sam gets indignant like it's a secondary reflex. :D
Are we back to hos over bros?lissa_bear on May 4th, 2006 02:55 pm (UTC)
“I can’t believe you kissed me.”
“Says the guy grabbing my ass!..."


Heh! I love it! So fun!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on May 4th, 2006 04:40 pm (UTC)
:D Thank you. God, I love p0rn, romance and tenderness, and the angsty goodness as well.

But I have such a weakness for SnarkFest. It's one of the major reasons I watch House, on top of loving Supernatural for it too. :D
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on May 4th, 2006 05:35 pm (UTC)
Re: Perfect!
suffice it to say that I think we need more *WOOD*. Pronto!
Oh, I definitely agree. ;) And some proximity, too.

So glad you liked this, Debbie! I promise I'll be writing some PrisonBreak smut soon as well. Got distracted with the crossovers, and the sudden urge to update "Always" (which is kind of creeping, and therefore holding up the whole PrisonBreak party).

Snark. It's what's for dinner!
(Deleted comment)
Re: Perfect! - halfshellvenus on May 4th, 2006 11:02 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
Re: Perfect! - halfshellvenus on May 5th, 2006 05:02 pm (UTC) (Expand)
the reason your mom didn't want you to join a band: you don't wanna knowohnoscarlett on May 4th, 2006 05:32 pm (UTC)
BWAH! The snark! I love it!

Off to read again. Hee.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean slashhalfshellvenus on May 4th, 2006 05:44 pm (UTC)
BWAH! The snark! I love it!
It's the new black!

Off to read again. Hee.
Yay! Snark wins!
chaobell on May 4th, 2006 05:34 pm (UTC)
“Quit humping my leg!”

“Hey, who brought the wood to the party to begin with, huh? I’m just returning the favor.”


I am dead now. Thank you.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on May 4th, 2006 05:45 pm (UTC)
I am dead now. Thank you.
XD They are so funny-rude!

Love the icon. ;)
Suecandygramme on May 4th, 2006 05:34 pm (UTC)
“Geez, that must be a record. You went from Zero to Issues in under a minute."

LOL! There are no words to tell how much I adore this line.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on May 4th, 2006 05:45 pm (UTC)
LOL! There are no words to tell how much I adore this line.
It's Sam's behavior-- and Dean's pissy reaction to it-- in a nutshell. :D

Thanks!
(no subject) - candygramme on May 4th, 2006 05:55 pm (UTC) (Expand)
zora_sourit: wincestzora_sourit on May 4th, 2006 05:45 pm (UTC)
I swear, this one made me laugh so hard... I could practically hear them!
You went from Zero to Issues in under a minute.

Wincest in the light version... totally thumbs up from my part :)!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on May 4th, 2006 05:47 pm (UTC)
I could practically hear them!
I love their funny dialoge-- that interplay between them just cracks me up.

Wincest in the light version... totally thumbs up from my part :)!
Thank you! It's not always angst, or steamy urgency. Sometimes it's just whacky-p0rn. :D

Serving all your broader Wincest needstm... :D
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean slashhalfshellvenus on May 4th, 2006 07:48 pm (UTC)
Hot, hot, so incredibly hot and funny. I love it!!!
XD. I feel like a p0rn-o-matic this week, but hey, it's temporary.

Sometimes the snark is so irresistible to me. Between Supernatural, House and "Scrubs," I've got a full array in my TV schedule. And only one of these shows is actually a comedy!

Your icon is perfect for the occasion, BTW. ;)Go Sam!
the ambassador of awesome: SN Text Road Tripneversince on May 4th, 2006 08:02 pm (UTC)
Hahahah so much fun!

“Geez, that must be a record. You went from Zero to Issues in under a minute.”

HOMG perfect. Dean pwnz.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on May 4th, 2006 11:04 pm (UTC)
HOMG perfect. Dean pwnz.
He so does. When Sam is in a snit, he is no match for Dean's quick-wittedness. Or his mercilous snark. :D

Love the icon, but then-- I bet you made it yourself! Your icons are so awesome. I have at least 3 of them. :D Including ^ this one.
MF Luder: SPN truckzillamf_luder_xf on May 4th, 2006 08:18 pm (UTC)
OMG that was freakin' hilarious!! Love the zeor to issues in under a minute. So true and such a Dean thing to say.

And this: I’m not leaving baby Deans all over the country.

God, if I'd had anything in my mouth (water etc) it would have been all over my computer screen at that line. LMFAO
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean slashhalfshellvenus on May 4th, 2006 11:06 pm (UTC)
OMG that was freakin' hilarious!!
Yay! God, SN humor is so freakin' irresistible.

God, if I'd had anything in my mouth (water etc) it would have been all over my computer screen at that line. LMFAO
:D And don't we all wonder? Because come on. He has to have been going at it countrywide for over 10 years now. :0
Jade: hits the spotjadedthang on May 4th, 2006 10:07 pm (UTC)
omg I SO love this! Amazing job honey, truly amazing. That was our boys to a "T". *big grin, goes off to read again*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on May 4th, 2006 11:08 pm (UTC)
That was our boys to a "T".
And to the XXX too! ;)

big grin, goes off to read again*
*heaps of happiness* Thank you! And gosh, even I'm re-reading it! :0
jellicle on May 4th, 2006 10:10 pm (UTC)
Why would you need a plot anyway?
Dude, hilarious!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on May 4th, 2006 11:09 pm (UTC)
Why would you need a plot anyway?
:D There is only the barest half-invisible HINT of a plot here. But then again, it would just get in the way of the "action," so.....

Dude, hilarious!
Thank you, Jelly!