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22 April 2010 @ 11:29 am
SPN Gen Drabble: "Where Once Were Wings" (Castiel, PG)  
Title: Where Once Were Wings
Author: HalfshellVenus
Character: Castiel (Gen, Drabble)
Rating: PG
Summary (S5): Castiel disagreed with Dean, but still listened—perhaps too well.
Author's Notes: Only took me almost two years to write seriousCastiel. For supernatural100, this is "Matter."

x-x-x-x-x

There was so much here he did not sign up to be.

Darkened highways, forgotten faith, the mantle of humanity on his shoulders where it burned too deep to shed… this was never Castiel's plan.

Caught between the corporeal and the catastrophic, he remembered that it was simpler once. But there was no going back, no unwinding the truth any more than he could hope to unname the stars.

He listened to an anguished mortal (chosen but unwilling)—listened and heard, and somehow he wound up here.

If this was what it meant to fall, he never saw it coming.


-------- fin --------

 
 
 
shaitanah: redshaitanah on April 22nd, 2010 06:58 pm (UTC)
This is beautiful! <3 I love Cas and what he's going through is unimaginable; I think this drabble reflects it very well.
Also, the last line is absolutely chilling and gorgeous!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Supernaturalhalfshellvenus on April 22nd, 2010 07:29 pm (UTC)
The ending says so much about how very far he is from where he ever imagined he was going.

And how very broken as well. *sniffle*
cindy: spn - castiel (by tasha8649)tsuki_no_bara on April 22nd, 2010 07:07 pm (UTC)
i actually feel kind of bad for the guy. he really had no idea what he was getting into when he got involved with team winchester, did he....
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Supernaturalhalfshellvenus on April 22nd, 2010 07:30 pm (UTC)
He rescued Dean, as instructed, and then thought his job was to bring Dean around to the idea of what the angels had planned for him.

Discovering that the angels were wrong (and killing each other right and left), and that God was not the benevolent father he'd thought... what an incredibly dispiriting result to a journey he never thought he was taking. *sniffle*
(no subject) - tsuki_no_bara on April 22nd, 2010 08:07 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on April 22nd, 2010 08:28 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - tsuki_no_bara on April 23rd, 2010 02:37 am (UTC) (Expand)
kaye: SPNpeg22 on April 22nd, 2010 07:46 pm (UTC)
gorgeous - lovely images and such a haunting and heartwrenching look at our favorite angel - man I love him and you make me love him even more. great drabble!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Supernaturalhalfshellvenus on April 22nd, 2010 08:22 pm (UTC)
So glad you liked it! The prompt of "matter"- and I was thinking more of his path toward becoming human rather than the angel he began as- really drove the whole mood and idea behind this story.
getting the chocolate in the peanut butter: spn:castiel:walkalonedotfic on April 22nd, 2010 07:49 pm (UTC)
This is lovely (and sad) -- I think he is in way over his head and has been for a while, even before he recognized he was.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Supernaturalhalfshellvenus on April 22nd, 2010 08:27 pm (UTC)
I so agree, and I feel so bad for him. The truth wasn't something that was ever going to make him happy, and he thought he already knew it anyway. So sad. :(
tifachingtifaching on April 22nd, 2010 11:05 pm (UTC)
Oh, that hurts. He listened to and heard Dean. When his job was to make Dean listen to and hear him and follow heaven's plan. No one in heaven or hell knew how impossible that job would be. Dean's a stubborn, compelling man and Cas went Dean's way instead of heaven's. Beautiful, painful drabble.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Supernaturalhalfshellvenus on April 22nd, 2010 11:37 pm (UTC)
When his job was to make Dean listen to and hear him and follow heaven's plan. No one in heaven or hell knew how impossible that job would be.
Especially because Dean's always thought his job was to SAVE humanity (though usually in smaller groups) and Castiel instead discovered that many of the angels scorned God's created just as Lucifer had.

In other words, it turned out that Dean was right to a certain degree, and that was the last thing Castiel was prepaired to discover. And god, what price the truth. :(
brigid_tanner: Castiel-warrior angelbrigid_tanner on April 23rd, 2010 12:50 am (UTC)
Ooo, I like a lot! Especially that last line.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Supernaturalhalfshellvenus on April 23rd, 2010 12:59 am (UTC)
Boy, I so feel for him. And thinking about all the stories/legends/warnings he's heard over the years... when you look at where he is now (or is on the verge of being), it must suddenly occur to him that there's a name for it and it isn't good. :(
keerawakeerawa on April 23rd, 2010 02:42 am (UTC)
Caught between the corporeal and the catastrophic
*shivers* This whole thing is gorgeous. I love the rhythms of it.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Supernaturalhalfshellvenus on April 23rd, 2010 07:51 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Sometimes these almost write themselves, and this was certainly the case here. :)
labseraphlabseraph on April 23rd, 2010 07:30 am (UTC)
Beautiful and heartbreaking.

*sniffles*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Supernaturalhalfshellvenus on April 25th, 2010 07:55 am (UTC)
Thank you so much!
devon99 on April 23rd, 2010 07:40 am (UTC)
Lovely, sad, and thought provoking little piece my dear. I feel for him so, caught up in all of this, all his illusions shattered, abandoned by God, all hope resting on Dean. I can't see this ending well for him, whatever happens.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Supernaturalhalfshellvenus on April 25th, 2010 07:57 am (UTC)
Now that he knows the hand the angels had in causing all of this, and how eager many of them are to see it destroy all of humanity in some cosmic-level pissing match, he must feel so terribly hopeless. No matter who wins, things won't be the same afterward and there will be death and havoc and even then his God won't care. Augh. :(
ErinRua: Don't fallerinrua on April 23rd, 2010 07:47 am (UTC)
Heartbreaking and lovely. Ah, the things you do with just a few words, lady. *smishes you*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Supernaturalhalfshellvenus on April 25th, 2010 07:58 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! I love the comic potential for Castiel, obviously, but this is the first time I've really gone into the painful parts of how all this has changed him.
     Mandy: Castiel Lost Angela_phoenixdragon on April 24th, 2010 10:35 am (UTC)
Damn...

*Sucks in a breath*

POWERFUL, honey...and oh, so Cas!!

*hugs*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Supernaturalhalfshellvenus on April 25th, 2010 07:58 am (UTC)
Thank you! And oh, what a gorgeous icon! :)
(no subject) - a_phoenixdragon on April 25th, 2010 08:06 am (UTC) (Expand)
Annaleicherry_kiss_8 on April 28th, 2010 10:24 pm (UTC)
This is beautiful! I think you captured Cas perfect in this – and he’s not an easy one to get a read on!
And I love, love, LOVE the last line!


The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Supernaturalhalfshellvenus on April 29th, 2010 06:39 am (UTC)
Thank you!

This has been a tough passage for him, and regardless of what happens with the Apocalypse he's already lost so much that was important to him- his whole foundation of belief has been undermined. God's indifference is truly more terrible than his absence. :(
fiery_fox2fiery_fox2 on April 29th, 2010 06:35 pm (UTC)
Oh, what a large wound I have now where my heart is!
*cringes but loves it, too*
This was so...real. Not that all of your stuff isn't real, but somehow, today, this really hit home. And this line did it:

But there was no going back, no unwinding the truth any more than he could hope to unname the stars.

My personal life has been just like that lately. *sighs*
And this was such a good ending it gave me goosebumps everywhere--even down to the roots of my hair:

If this was what it meant to fall, he never saw it coming.

Wow. Lovely, as always, and so haunting. Great work.
[*saves* to mems again]
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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Supernaturalhalfshellvenus on April 30th, 2010 06:50 am (UTC)
My personal life has been just like that lately. *sighs*
I'm so sorry, and I hope better things are in your future. That's just such an awful, helpless feeling. All you can do is move forward and make a new reality-- more of a possiblity for you than Castiel, I'd say, because his foundation is utterly gone.

I'm glad this drabble is hitting readers so hard. I've written the comic side of Castiel for ages, but the prompt for this drabble brought out the hard truth of all that's happened to him this season, and how impossible it would have been for him ever to have predicted it. It seems so unfair. :(