?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
17 April 2010 @ 12:38 am
Original Fiction: "Listening For The Moon" (Gen, PG)  
Title: Listening For The Moon
Original Fiction
Author: HalfshellVenus
Rating: PG
Summary: It was better she didn't know…
Author's Notes: My first entry for the 5_prompts challenge community. This one wanted to be original fiction (which I never write), based on this pictorial prompt:
Image and video hosting by TinyPic


x-x-x-x-x

Sometimes when she woke, it was already noon. Those were the days she dreaded.

She would struggle to open her eyes against the glare of sunlight, hoping she'd overslept, that the flu or a hard week had worn her down. It was never that simple.

The heaviness in her body wasn't sickness, and the blood under her fingernails (on the bathmat, the towels) spoke the language of nightmares. Why couldn't she remember?

She was careful afterward. Somnolent and sated, she moved through the apartment cleaning traces of leaves and mud from the entryway and splashes of red from the tile near the sink.

She never read the paper or watched the news anymore. Better she didn't know.

Her name was Annie—harmless, a name for girls with pigtails and sunshine smiles, the kind of girl she used to be. People named Annie didn't wake up to bloody bathrooms and cold, dark clouds obscuring the memory of everything that came before.

They didn't listen for the moon or hide from the searing pain of its too-bright opposite…

The air was different on those nights, she'd learned—rich and heavy with conflicting aromas and secret breezes. On those nights, she made certain she was alone, just in case. With luck, she'd never even know if it had helped.

She kept hoping it would finally end, both the mystery and the feeling of always fighting something she couldn't contain. Weeks would pass, with the world gone quiet until she slowly found her way back to feeling safe.

But then inside some twisted twilight, the window would suddenly beckon. Her hands shook as she opened it to the smells of the forest, to phantom visions of the full-sky moon. She felt her eyes widen to welcome the dark, drinking in the dwindling light that remained.

Her hold slipped away, silent and unnoticed against the changing night.

Outside, the moon was calling.


-------- fin --------

 
 
 
cindytsuki_no_bara on April 18th, 2010 05:47 am (UTC)
spooky! i really like it.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Bookshalfshellvenus on April 18th, 2010 06:10 am (UTC)
Thank you! *falls all over you in gratitude simply for reading it* ♥
devon99 on April 18th, 2010 11:18 pm (UTC)
Oooh, I liked this very much. Nicely done indeed:)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Bookshalfshellvenus on April 19th, 2010 06:23 am (UTC)
Thank you! You can probably see why the picture prompt led me to this kind of idea. :)
Clair de Lune: still moonlightingclair_de_lune on April 19th, 2010 07:20 pm (UTC)
I really like the atmosphere you've created here.

Her name was Annie—harmless, a name for girls with pigtails and sunshine smiles, the kind of girl she used to be.
On a personal level, this line made me smile because I know a triumvirate of Annies, and all of them are tough ladies *g* Yet it does sound like a harmless name to me, and the way you wrote it is very evocative.

This was both spooky and sad. Nice.

Edited at 2010-04-19 07:21 pm (UTC)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Bookshalfshellvenus on April 20th, 2010 05:48 pm (UTC)
Are they still "Annies" in French and not "Ann/Anne"? One tends to be used more for children here (so it has a feeling of innocence), and the other more for adults. But I'm glad you knew what I meant by it. :)

I love to hear that people find this spooky, because you tend to lose a sense of that when you write it.

Thanks for reading!
Clair de Lune: still moonlightingclair_de_lune on April 20th, 2010 06:52 pm (UTC)
One tends to be used more for children here
I don't think it's the case around here. And yep, they're still "Annies" ;) I'd also say that the name was more common a few generations ago: two of them are in their sixties, the last one in her mid-forties. Not a frequent name for a kid or a young woman, these days.

It is spooky *nods* It feels like something possesses (can a word have so many S? ^^) her and just waits to be released - which can never be good.
Celtic_Forestceltic_forest on April 20th, 2010 09:03 am (UTC)
It's so easy to identify with her, even though the piece is saturated with a feel of otherness - I think this simultaneous contrast is why the story really makes an impact on me.
The phrase "inside some twisted twilight" is very evocative, and I suspect it's going to stick with me for a while.
Gorgeous!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Bookshalfshellvenus on April 20th, 2010 05:52 pm (UTC)
The idea for this came from SPN, I'll admit-- the discovery that werewolves don't actually know what they are was a wonderful, shocking surprise. To have only the aftermath-- traces of evidence, at most, if anything-- and no memory of how they came to be is such a fascinating idea.

So you feel for the woman here, even as you suspect that she should be finding out the truth sooner rather than half-denying it.

And I'm SO glad that line didn't make people think of the sparkly vampire series, because it's intended to give the feeling that (at least now, early on) Annie never knows when things are going to change until it's already happening. And how terrible and scary, to have no control over it.