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12 April 2006 @ 07:53 pm
Prison Break Fanfiction: Night Vision  
Author: HalfshellVenus
Category: Lincoln/Michael or Sam/Dean (Slash, Drabble-Poem)
Word Count: 100
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Slash, established relationship. 100-word drabble poem of lovemaking.
Authors Notes: Written for poisontaster, who requested a 100-word Lincoln/Michael drabble either Pre or Post-prison. Also for fanfic100, where I have the Slash pairing of Lincoln and Michael. This is for prompt #23, “Lovers.” Because of the nature of the fandoms, this can also be read as Sam/Dean rather than Lincoln/Michael: pick your pairing. :)



They slip/sigh
Whisper/writhe
Sweep and stroke and buck and choke
With fingers, lips and quiet words
With thought and touch and sharp intent.
Light filters past as skin follows and flows,
Brushing pillow/sheet/softness
In wanton motion, tender strength.
Lips seek and merge in feeling
Falling slower, deeper, yes-there
Trailing farther, faster, fuller
Down to Please and Oh and Yes.

They bend and hold and break and fold.
Each the other’s
Brother/lover.
Spent and sated, soulful, sweet
Voices rise and drift in answer and promise:

Will You? floats like a breath of tomorrow,
Always soothes like a stream heard in darkness.

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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Venushalfshellvenus on April 17th, 2006 10:02 pm (UTC)
tend to think that the better poems can really only work their power if read aloud/portrayed by actors, so you can at least be awed by word power.
Hmm. I'm the exact opposite there. I already hear the words in my head as I read the poem, and where the line breaks occur sometimes have a huge impact for me on how the poetry works. For instance, you can get a different feeling from lines that are broken out instead of run together, because you get the dual-meaning of the isolated line AND of its context in the larger whole.

For instance, here's an excerpt from a love poem I wrote my husband:


Our mysteries are unraveled,
our souls in collision.
Each kiss
brings the collusion
of secrets shared.

Without the line separations and the visual, you might not notice so much the contrast/complement of collision and collusion.

Or, here's a tiny fragment from a Weldon Kees poem, "The Hourglass":


I was in the past
somewhere, alone.


The first line stands on its own as a declarative statement, and then the following line with "somewhere" unsettles the confident tone of the first lie. Reading it, you feel a sense of doubt creeping in as if you are the person in the poem experiencing it.

Well... hope I'm explaining that well enough. I hope you get the idea.



The Good, The Bad and The Lana: brothers jail crawfishthelana on April 18th, 2006 03:48 am (UTC)
Grin, I think the poem that doesn't feel at least a little counter intuitive to me still has to be invented ;D

I still love that you are experimenting with styles and I think you should definitively do it more. Obviously it was a smashing success :D
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on April 18th, 2006 04:18 am (UTC)
I still love that you are experimenting with styles and I think you should definitively do it more.
I should make a list of ideas to try out (and nothing funky like "no is" or "no 'the'" or "no verbs").

What if I wrote a Michael fic in Lars47 language? It could be... futurefic! :0
The Good, The Bad and The Lana: big smile happy sarathelana on April 18th, 2006 04:21 am (UTC)
LOL, I'd totally read it. (then again, what wouldn't I read?)

You could do things like a newspaper article or letter style or coroner or psychologist's report. Remember that little notes thing that liberate did? Loved that one.