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12 April 2006 @ 07:53 pm
Prison Break Fanfiction: Night Vision  
Author: HalfshellVenus
Category: Lincoln/Michael or Sam/Dean (Slash, Drabble-Poem)
Word Count: 100
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Slash, established relationship. 100-word drabble poem of lovemaking.
Authors Notes: Written for poisontaster, who requested a 100-word Lincoln/Michael drabble either Pre or Post-prison. Also for fanfic100, where I have the Slash pairing of Lincoln and Michael. This is for prompt #23, “Lovers.” Because of the nature of the fandoms, this can also be read as Sam/Dean rather than Lincoln/Michael: pick your pairing. :)



They slip/sigh
Whisper/writhe
Sweep and stroke and buck and choke
With fingers, lips and quiet words
With thought and touch and sharp intent.
Light filters past as skin follows and flows,
Brushing pillow/sheet/softness
In wanton motion, tender strength.
Lips seek and merge in feeling
Falling slower, deeper, yes-there
Trailing farther, faster, fuller
Down to Please and Oh and Yes.

They bend and hold and break and fold.
Each the other’s
Brother/lover.
Spent and sated, soulful, sweet
Voices rise and drift in answer and promise:

Will You? floats like a breath of tomorrow,
Always soothes like a stream heard in darkness.

--------------------
 
 
 
Ice-T: an actor, also a refreshing beverage: SPN gay subtextfiddleyoumust on April 13th, 2006 03:07 am (UTC)
You made me tear up.

This is really beautiful.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Venushalfshellvenus on April 13th, 2006 03:19 am (UTC)
Is it okay?

I haven't done any drabble poems at all, nor apparently a successful Prison Break traditional drabble. But it seemed like I could get more in, somehow, by doing it this way.

So glad you liked it, Jewels! I... don't have a feel for whether this one is good or not.

(no subject) - fiddleyoumust on April 13th, 2006 03:23 am (UTC) (Expand)
Are we back to hos over bros?lissa_bear on April 13th, 2006 03:14 am (UTC)
Beautiful! Particularly With thought and touch and sharp intent.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Venushalfshellvenus on April 13th, 2006 03:22 am (UTC)
Thank you, Elissa!

Does it work for you for both fandoms, or the one first suggested? It seems more Lincoln/Michael to me, but then that's why I first wrote it.
(no subject) - lissa_bear on April 13th, 2006 03:24 am (UTC) (Expand)
poisontaster on April 13th, 2006 03:25 am (UTC)
OMG, I ADORE this! The "will you" "always" just breaks my brain. That's one of my dialogue kinks like whoa.

Sweep and stroke and buck and choke
I love that this is poetical and raw at the same time. It reminds me of the ee cummings poem Mona & I used for "the boys i mean..."

And this whole section: Falling slower, deeper, yes-there
Trailing farther, faster, fuller
Down to Please and Oh and Yes.

They bend and hold and break and fold.
Each the other’s
Brother/lover.


*sigh* Oh, just YES. It's perfect. Really.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Venushalfshellvenus on April 13th, 2006 03:33 am (UTC)
Yay!

It's so very different from anything I've done yet. I wrote poetry for years (now I'm down to anniversary poems for my husband and that's about it), but I've never tried that for a fanfic post. olivia_notebook inspired this, with a gorgeous Sam/Dean drabble poem she wrote a few weeks ago.

Sweep and stroke and buck and choke
I love that this is poetical and raw at the same time.

It's desire, both soft and strong, all at once.

There's so much more echo and rhyming here than in anything I've done for years, but it really just seemed to fit the mood.

And I know what you mean about "Will you?" and "Always," because that is a recurring theme in my romantic heart. Even moreso for Sam/Dean than for Lincoln/Michael.

So glad you liked it! I kind of went out on a limb with this one, so thank goodness it wasn't terrible.
Becbecisvolatile on April 13th, 2006 04:10 am (UTC)
Usually I can't stand fandom poetry, but this was actually really good, so yeah, nicely done!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Venushalfshellvenus on April 13th, 2006 04:29 am (UTC)
Usually I can't stand fandom poetry

Yeah, actually-- me either.

but this was actually really good, so yeah, nicely done!

Well yay! I'll promise to try to never do it again, too ;)
(no subject) - becisvolatile on April 13th, 2006 05:08 am (UTC) (Expand)
dirtandweeds on April 13th, 2006 04:44 am (UTC)
Ooooh how pretty! Thank you so much for sharing!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB slashhalfshellvenus on April 13th, 2006 06:00 am (UTC)
Thank you!

God, that icon never gets old for me. :D
MF Luder: SPN faithmf_luder_xf on April 13th, 2006 08:01 am (UTC)
Lovely poetry!!

They bend and hold and break and fold.
Each the other’s
Brother/lover.
Spent and sated, soulful, sweet
Voices rise and drift in answer and promise


Vey nicely woven and meaningful.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean slashhalfshellvenus on April 13th, 2006 03:36 pm (UTC)
Very nicely woven and meaningful.

Thank you! It's not something I would normally do, but once done... it is so nice for Sam/Dean as well as for Lincoln/Michael.

Probably should post it at the brother_slash group and let people adapt it to Numbe3rs and Boondock Saints and all the other brothercest fandoms (more than you'd think!).

:D
The Good, The Bad and The Lana: brothers promo doublethelana on April 13th, 2006 08:29 am (UTC)
I'm with everyone, not a fan of poems at all (and I feel like I don't know anything about them), but as far as poems go, very nice :)

Cool to see that you are always experimenting with styles.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB slashhalfshellvenus on April 13th, 2006 03:39 pm (UTC)
(and I feel like I don't know anything about them),
About poems themselves, or who this poem is about? ;)

Cool to see that you are always experimenting with styles.
Yes, it's kind of fun.

Something minimalist, something even more surreal than the SPN Dream-fic, something with bite-- all those are in the future somewhere. :D
(no subject) - thelana on April 13th, 2006 03:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on April 13th, 2006 03:45 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thelana on April 13th, 2006 03:54 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on April 13th, 2006 04:19 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thelana on April 17th, 2006 09:42 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on April 17th, 2006 10:02 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thelana on April 18th, 2006 03:48 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on April 18th, 2006 04:18 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thelana on April 18th, 2006 04:21 am (UTC) (Expand)
tyrical: AP_artistrytyrical on April 13th, 2006 01:26 pm (UTC)
Oh this was so lovely,
I loved the flow,
I like the feel of it.
I thought the meaning of love and togetherness was so apparent.
It's like there is not separation between the to of them,
The thoughts similar and the need just as powerful.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Venushalfshellvenus on April 13th, 2006 03:40 pm (UTC)
I loved the flow,
I like the feel of it.

Ooh! Then I'm doing it right. It should work in parts as well as in an unbroken flow.

It's like there is not separation between the to of them,
The thoughts similar and the need just as powerful.

Yes-- it's like this moment is all syngergy and understanding each other-- at least for now.

Thank you, tyrical. :D
dawnstarrising: pic#44156979dawnstarrising on April 13th, 2006 02:34 pm (UTC)
*Big Hugs*
Absolutely beautiful honey. I love poetry and this is very emotive.

You should write more poetry honey, you are very good at it.

Love

Dawn xx
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Venushalfshellvenus on April 13th, 2006 03:42 pm (UTC)
Re: *Big Hugs*
You should write more poetry honey, you are very good at it.
I write it for myself, but foisting it on the fandom isn't something I can do very often.

I mean really, poem-fic usually makes me cringe, and I like poetry. But once in awhile... it knocks my socks off. So it has to be worth it to try it out at least once. ;)

Thanks, Dawn. :D
Re: *Big Hugs* - dawnstarrising on April 13th, 2006 08:10 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB slashhalfshellvenus on April 16th, 2006 04:54 am (UTC)
Please don't take offense, for none is intended, but my general thoughts about poetry are, uh, why bother? I mean, the thoughts/feelings conveyed are usually so nebulous, so*general* that the reader quite often needs a road map to interpret the poem.
It kind of depends on the poet/poem. I tend to like surrealism and the subliminal a lot, so I have a higher tolerance for that. I really like T.S. Eliot (he is the poetry equivalent of the composer Ravel to me), and Dylan Thomas, and a little-known American poet named Weldon Kees. Swinborne (dark and lyrical), Shakespeare. BUT admittedly, many fans of literature have less love for poetry, so you are not alone...

I could very
easily picture Michael & Lincoln in your words and most particularly in the following passage: "In wanton motion, tender strength. Lips seek and merge in feeling." Very, very sensual. I really enjoyed reading this.

Thank you!

This is very much like a fic, just told through poetry. It's an interlude of lovemaking, but the style of describing it is different. And it does give a different feeling to it, doesn't it?

Glad you enjoyed it-- and that it wasn't mystifying ;)

Heaven knows what style I'll try next. Maybe an entire fic told in "Dude" language. :0
Lorilorilann on April 14th, 2006 03:29 am (UTC)
This was beautifully written. I could see it applying for both Michael/Linc and Sam/Dean.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Venushalfshellvenus on April 16th, 2006 04:56 am (UTC)
This was beautifully written. I could see it applying for both Michael/Linc and Sam/Dean.
Thank you so much! It could easily be either pairing, and that's nice in that the reader can see who they most prefer.

It's even better for double-dippers like us who like both shows :D
PamalaX: mikehuglincpamalax on April 14th, 2006 05:43 pm (UTC)
That was lovely. Thank you!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Venushalfshellvenus on April 16th, 2006 04:57 am (UTC)
Thank you, pamalax!

It's not my usual style, that's for sure. More like, my style times 2, minus a bunch of linking words. :)
Alizarin_NYC: mister ekoalizarin_nyc on April 15th, 2006 08:54 am (UTC)
Wow I dig this.

(here from poisontaster's journal.

Very well done.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Venushalfshellvenus on April 16th, 2006 04:59 am (UTC)
Thank you! Nice of you to stop by via another friend. :D

Is that Mr. Eko in your icon? He has become my biggest weakness on "Lost" these days. So intriguing and complicated.
dragon9maiden on April 18th, 2006 01:47 am (UTC)
This is such a sensitive and soulful poem. You really are the Botticelli of Slash fiction. You have the rare ability of making love and passion a visual experience for your readers. You paint your characters in beautiful and sympathetic tones. It is difficult not to be moved by your work.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB slashhalfshellvenus on April 18th, 2006 02:06 am (UTC)
You really are the Botticelli of Slash fiction.
Wow. Just wow. This could be my secret slogan, but I'd feel I was overstating the case. ♥

You have the rare ability of making love and passion a visual experience for your readers.
Oooh. I certainly try. I want to pull the reader in, and make her or him feel everything as if they're right there, or even one of the characters in the story.

And I want readers to understand the characters-- including their flaws, and how those came to be. It's part of my understanding of the characters too. ;)

Thank you so much, DragonMaiden. I so look forward to your thoughtful comments. :)
tyrical: AP_aJolietyrical on November 1st, 2006 05:45 pm (UTC)
Will You?

Always


Lovely just lovely.

It's like the embodiment of the sexual act in thought, verse, and cadence.
Very moving. Very visually. Very lyrical.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on November 1st, 2006 06:33 pm (UTC)
It's like the embodiment of the sexual act in thought, verse, and cadence.
Very moving. Very visually. Very lyrical.

Thank you so much!

There's a soothing, loving and yet sexual tone to it all that I really like. It's romantic, but not sappy, I think. :)
(no subject) - tyrical on November 2nd, 2006 03:05 am (UTC) (Expand)