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15 October 2009 @ 07:15 pm
I Can't Believe I Did This...  
So, most of you probably know about the stress that's hit my RL in the last couple of years. For the new folks, here's a recap:

My husband has been on disability for depression for two years, and receiving shock treatments because medication hasn't helped (and he's tried them all). That's hard on both of us (because of the resultant memory loss he suffers), and it doesn't even work that well-- it's better than nothing, but not as effective as it is for most people. He's also currently battling cancer in his leg, and is halfway through fairly punishing chemo treatments. Results are looking great so far, but it makes him very sick.

Now to the point. My birthday is next Monday, and if you've been around awhile, you might also remember me lamenting last year about how turning 46 felt so hopelessly old, like it was a downward slide to 50 from there.

I visited my hairdresser today, who is pretty much the same age I am. After some discussion, and several rounds of math-checking, it turns out that I will be turning 46 on Monday. I'm actually 45 now.

How in the HELL did I skip a year? I don't even know which one it was, except that it wasn't 42 (helloooo Douglas Adams), and probably not 44 either (X*11 birthdays always call attention to themselves).

I'm stymied. What's more, I'm pretty sure one of my sisters-in-law did this to herself around this same age. God, maybe it's the early harbinger of senility. :0

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frostian: castiel/thursdayfrostian on October 16th, 2009 03:00 am (UTC)
God, maybe it's the early harbinger of senility

Enjoy the free year! Have a mojito!

Glad to hear your hubby's chemo is going well. Sorry to hear about his other health issues.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on October 16th, 2009 03:13 am (UTC)
It's actually kind of good thing, when you think about it-- other than the fact of HAVING skiped a year, which makes a person question her sanity.

The chemo is having success, but it's rough. He has another medication that he needs daily for muscle problems, and it makes the best anti-nausea drug off-limits. Medical marijuana is off-limits for the same reason.

As he explains, it, though all signs point to the lymphoma ONLY being in his leg, it's so rare for that to be the primary location that they're blasting him hardcore with the chemicals in case there's a "true" primary source that they haven't been able to locate.

Kaiser is very big on "preventative," for which I am glad. They're giving him the "in case" treatment, because that will kill everything.
The Huntresshuntress69 on October 16th, 2009 03:47 am (UTC)
All I can do, unfortunately, is send you virtual hugs and I wish I could be there in person for you. As far as the age thing, I turned 47 in August, feel much younger, I really do. Don't think about the number, cause that's all it is.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on October 16th, 2009 05:03 am (UTC)
Last year I was fixated on the number, but now I'm suddenly stuck more on the losing an entire year for an extended period of time.

I'll spend two whole years being 46, and never know why. :0
brigid_tanner: Dean LMAObrigid_tanner on October 16th, 2009 04:08 am (UTC)
LOL!! I can remember my divisible by 5 years, and the "x9" years, but inbetween that, I loose track. I remember 45. It was better than 40, so I'm hoping 50 will be better still! Course, you've still got a ways to go to catch up :)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on October 16th, 2009 05:05 am (UTC)
I remember the x0 years, and I would have THOUGHT I'd have remembered the x5 years too, but since I just lived through one and thought it was something else... apparently not. :0

Are your "x9" years the ones ending in nine, or the ones that are multiples of 9 (like my multiples of 11)?

I must say, this explains how HSH seemed to be 53 while I was 46, and yet he's 8 years older than me. :0
(no subject) - brigid_tanner on October 16th, 2009 12:27 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on October 16th, 2009 04:39 pm (UTC) (Expand)
happy is as happy does: Are you serious? You must be.happywriter06 on October 16th, 2009 05:14 am (UTC)
Half the time I can't remember what I ate yesterday but I can't imagine not remember a year. lol. Well, it's better to be younger than you thought.

I'm glad it looks good even if he has to be sick. Hopefully this will be over soon.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on October 16th, 2009 05:42 am (UTC)
It seems worse that I can't even remember WHICH year I skipped! How?

It is good to be younger, though! I find that as I get older (and part of this might be having kids, whose minutae fills your brain when there was no room for new information anyway) that more and more I tend to "outsmart" myself by putting things where I'll be sure not to lose them and Tada! I have no idea later what the hell I was thinking, and turn the house upside-down looking for them.

HSH's prognosis for all of this is really good. It's the treatment that's awful, and sadly not "quick" either.
ErinRua: Motor runnin'erinrua on October 16th, 2009 06:31 am (UTC)
Well ... it's better than my hubby discovering he was actually two years OLDER! He was talking to his younger sister some years ago, and told her he was XX years old, and she corrected him, "No, you can't be, because that's how old I am!" LOL, poor guy aged 2 years in 30 seconds. ;-)

Sorry to hear things are still so tough for your hubby. It's such a long road, and I'm sure the chemo and everything are direct contributors to his depression. I'm glad he's on the road to recovery, but dang, what a long, hard road it is ...

*HUGS* to you and blessings to hubby!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on October 16th, 2009 07:07 am (UTC)
LOL, poor guy aged 2 years in 30 seconds. ;-)

Hahahaha! Though I'll bet those years of denial beforehand were totally worth it!

Chemo really is tough, and I'm amazed at the courage of people who endure it. I'm sorry his is going more like the experiences people had a decade ago rather than the way of the rare few who are much less affected.

But! 5 treatments down and 3 more to go. If all stays on track, he should have his final treatment before Christmas.
JJ: jensen facepalmjolietjones on October 16th, 2009 07:16 am (UTC)
Laugh Out Loud. You are not alone my friend, I've done this not once, but twice. When I was reaching 40 and then again when I was reaching 50. Hard to believe, I know.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on October 16th, 2009 04:25 pm (UTC)
Ha! I'm so gld to hear that!

Maybe it's a side-effect of mentally rounding-up, and then getting stuck on the "estimate" and not the actual number!
(no subject) - jolietjones on October 16th, 2009 06:03 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on October 16th, 2009 06:17 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Entendre? Make mine a double.: SN Sam gentle smiledeirdre_c on October 16th, 2009 07:27 am (UTC)
Haha! Okay, that's brilliant. You've GAINED a year! Hurrah!

(Obv, this is the benefit for me of having been born in a year ending in zero. Less hard math. *g*)



(Also, drabble prompt please??)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on October 16th, 2009 04:31 pm (UTC)
An extra year! I can be 46 for two years in a row, and not in the "Oh, I'm 29. Forever..." kind of way. ;)

Being born in a "0" year is so unfair! Or maybe what's scary is that I'm actually good at math. This is a whole different problem. In fact, I'm going to change my LJ "tagline"-- Not firmly grounded in reality. I think that fits. ;)

Ooh, drabble prompt! How about one of two things: the boys and pumpkins, or Sam/Dean and coziness?
never trust a big butt and a smileobeetaybee on October 16th, 2009 08:34 am (UTC)
Ha, I did something like this last year when I kept telling everybody I was 37 and then I would remember, nope
only 36 for a few more months at least. (at least until past August, now I'm 37
for real!)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on October 16th, 2009 04:33 pm (UTC)
I'm starting to suspect that's what happened-- I rounded up too early, and then THAT number became my reality and I jumped right on to the next one.

And here I used to wondery why my MIL did things like that. She's probably telling people, "I'm almost 90" right now (she's 88), and eventually will think she IS 90.

My husband says she was famous for saying things like, "Well, it's 10:30 now-- practically lunchtime. Where does the day go?!?"
Jas Masson: eye of the tigerjasmasson on October 16th, 2009 09:36 am (UTC)
You just never really think of your age. When someone asked me recently I was completely stymied. THIS SHOULD NOT BE A HARD QUESTION. ;)

I hope he starts getting better soon.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on October 16th, 2009 04:37 pm (UTC)
My own age used to be firmly in mind, and I thought it still was. Until the hairdresser said, "You must have been born in '62" and that was SO wrong that I had to re-examine everything.

What I've always found funny is when you call in for medical advice or go in to the doctor, and they ask, "When was the date of your last period?" And the answer is always, "Helloooo-- I'm on the pill! I have no idea! That's kind of the point!"

HSH seems to be doing better this round of chemo (Tuesday) than last time. The last one came the day after his ECT treatment, when he still had general anaesthetic in his system, and that might have made it worse.

Hard to tell, though, because they may change the "cocktail" over time. We're just glad that he's had 5 of the 8 treatments, so there aren't a ton of them left.
Princess Robot Bubblegum!astrothsknot on October 16th, 2009 10:41 am (UTC)
So, you're a year younger than you think you are. YAY!

And you've had stress up the wazoo. No wonder you forgot a year.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Birthdayhalfshellvenus on October 16th, 2009 04:38 pm (UTC)
I'll be 46 forever, at this rate! It still feels like I'm 46 now, and I do remember being "45." It's the part between 42 and then that I lost a year, and I have no idea which one!
devon99 on October 16th, 2009 05:46 pm (UTC)
I wish I could lose a year off my age!!

Hang in there, the both of you. A family member went through a couple rounds of chemo and I know how much it takes it toll, both on the person receiving it and their family too. It's hard work looking after someone that is feeling so sick, hard work trying to be strong and lift their spirits too, especially when you have kiddies to look after. If HSH is half way through then at least you know you are on the homeward run.

*hugs*

Edited at 2009-10-16 05:46 pm (UTC)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on October 16th, 2009 06:15 pm (UTC)
He's got 3 more treatments left of the 8, and every one of them is a struggle. But I think it's easier now that the kids have gone back to school (he was home with them during the summer), and he feels freer to nap much more often. Wish we could get better results with the nausea, but he's very tough and stoic in general.

Thanks for all your good wishes. They definitely help!
Clair de Lune: divers - lolclair_de_lune on October 16th, 2009 08:29 pm (UTC)
Hm. It looks like you were so anxious to get rid of the dreadful 46 barrier that you merely skipped 45 and went straight to 46 ;-)

It kind of happened to me the other way around: I've never had 36. I spent a whole year needing to make a conscious effort to remember that I was 36, not 37. Go figure ^_^
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on October 16th, 2009 08:47 pm (UTC)
I'm pretty sure I DO remember 45. It's the 43/44 I'm vague about.

That is to say... I remember 45 when it was actually 44, apparently. :0

I've never had 36. I spent a whole year needing to make a conscious effort to remember that I was 36, not 37. Go figure ^_^
I think this is where it starts! You just have to be careful not to get to the next birthday and think, "Well, this must be #38!"
(no subject) - clair_de_lune on October 18th, 2009 05:50 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Deadbeat Nymph: dean rock outdeadbeat_nymph on October 17th, 2009 07:04 pm (UTC)
Woo-hoo! Extra year! That's a win in my book. =D

Also, *hugs*.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on October 17th, 2009 09:11 pm (UTC)
It's going to be kind of weird being 46 for two years in a row, but I guess I can live with that! :D
Chat Noirmaster_chatnoir on October 18th, 2009 04:16 pm (UTC)
Poor you for losing a year, but considering what a stressful year it was, it's not surprising! At least you can find the humor in it. :) You need to have a massive Un-Birthday Party. You deserve it!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on October 19th, 2009 07:03 am (UTC)
:D It's just funny to be the same age for two whole years. Makes me feel like one of those lying socialites or something!
Queen of Music: spn_jensenadorabledove95 on October 19th, 2009 08:47 pm (UTC)
Hey, you, I hope you had a good birthday today anyway! *hug*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Birthdayhalfshellvenus on October 19th, 2009 11:06 pm (UTC)
I did!

After last year, where I suddenly felt older and mopey... this year, I feel younger-- and I'm still 46! Oh, the magic of miscalculated math. :D

46 is much less bad the second time around. ;)