?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
04 October 2009 @ 10:45 pm
Supernatural Gen Drabble: "Tales Of The Apocalyptically Impaired" (Sam, Dean, PG)  
Title: Tales Of The Apocalyptically Impaired
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Sam, Dean (Gen, Drabble, All-Dialogue, Humor)
Rating: PG
Summary (post-5x04, "The End"): In which a hero, by definition, is the guy not caught up in hoarding toilet paper…
Author's Notes: Happy birthday to huggenkiss, who wanted post-5x04 Sam and Dean and some mocking of futureCastiel's condition.
Also for supernatural100, this is "Anticlimactic."

x-x-x-x-x

"So, what changed your mind?"

"Nothing."

"Oh c'mon, Dean, it's never nothing! What happened?"

"Zachariah yanked me into the future. And it sucked. You were right."

"That's it? The future sucked? Try some specifics."

"You and I weren't talking, and demons took over the planet."

"No zombies?"

"Just demons."

"What about Castiel? He didn't help?"

"Hah. Castiel was running a 'love cult' with ceremonial orgies, and getting stoned."

"No!"

"Well, he lost his angel powers."

"Yeah, but still…"

"I know."

"How bad?"

"Hippie beads and everything. I'm totally telling him."

"Dean!"

"I'm kidding, Sam."

"Good. I'm sure he—"

"Maybe…"


-------- fin --------

 
 
 
Little Australian Bundle Of Delightful Joy: wolverinehuggenkiss on October 5th, 2009 06:15 am (UTC)
Heeeee! That is exactly what I wanted. Thank you, thank you, thank you! *kisses*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Birthdayhalfshellvenus on October 5th, 2009 06:21 am (UTC)
Oh, thank goodness! It was kind of hard to just "jump in" to that particular moment in a drabble (though it and Chuck were the most mock-worthy parts of that episode).

Poor Sam would be so mortified by Castiel's behavior. Where will it end? Which is exactly what Castiel was thinking when he took the hedonism route, unfortunately. ;)

I'm so glad you found this in between all the packing for Wincon! Happy belated, and I hope you have smooth travels on your way here!

*breaks out birthday penguin for you*
rodlox: going to hugrodlox on October 5th, 2009 07:25 am (UTC)
yep, sounds like a Dean answer.

excellent drabble.

(I bet Castiel just looks at him, like "?")
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on October 5th, 2009 03:49 pm (UTC)
I'm sure currentCastiel would find the idea completely unbelievable-- he probably wouldn't even get to appalling! More like, "Dean's mind has suffered from the trip."

Which would completely take all the fun out of it for Dean, as so often happens. ;)
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on October 5th, 2009 04:06 pm (UTC)
I think the news of Castiel's "transformation" might have gone harder on Sam than on Dean!

Though I hope Dean passed through insta-regret on every attempt to ever make Castiel be more 'human'. ;)
rodlox: snerkrodlox on October 6th, 2009 02:14 am (UTC)
Dean's probably thinking "Castiel went for millenia without sexing - I take him to a whorehouse once, and less than five years later, he's got groupies and orgies.

"Damn I'm good."
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Laugh SPNhalfshellvenus on October 6th, 2009 05:19 am (UTC)
Ouch!

Actually, he might have thought that without the context of all the other disasters in that future. But in Apoca-context, I can see the punchline being something more like, "Jesus, I really screwed him up." :0

Given that Zachariah was behind that whole "This is the future-- no really, it's exactly like this" it's possible that he put that part in to tweak Dean for trying to lead Castiel to temptation.

That's the thing about that future. Zachariah had such a vested interest in the "outcome" of how it affected Dean that we can't be sure how many details of that future were "false" and how many "true." :0
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on October 5th, 2009 04:07 pm (UTC)
Re: sure he would...
One of the things I loved about that episode was Dean discovering that there was still innocence left in him, which got assaulted from SO many directions. But at least it was there.
gunznammo2gunznammo2 on October 5th, 2009 02:03 pm (UTC)
Our brothers are TALKING! Too cute..sounds just like them. Loved it.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on October 5th, 2009 04:09 pm (UTC)
And Dean's still trying not to! I'm sure he doesn't want to spill the beans on what future!Sammy was up to, which makes him cautious. But moreover, he's not big about talking things over anyway. He lets out little snippets of information until Sam finally drops it.

And look how effectively he detoured him onto something else. ;)
cindy: spn - dean's :D face (by dev_earl)tsuki_no_bara on October 5th, 2009 03:52 pm (UTC)
now you have to write a sequel drabble where dean does tell castiel. :D because he totally would. and i love that the first thing on dean's "things that suck about the future" list is that he and sam weren't speaking. aw, dean.

now go tell castiel about the orgies and the pot. :D
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on October 5th, 2009 04:14 pm (UTC)
I think redlox above is probably right-- Dean would tell Castiel, and Castiel wouldn't believe a single word of it!

Only Dean could (and would) summarize the ruins of a demon Apocalypse and quarantines and compounds as "It sucked." But him and Sam still at odds 5 years later... that really does suck. It's like neither of them thought, at the beginning, about where that separation might lead. Dying apart or being estranged were both likely outcomes of that choice, and against the backdrop of all that bleakness that decision looks incredibly stupid. Thank goodness THAT part registered for Dean.
shaitanah: naruto_tearsshaitanah on October 5th, 2009 04:55 pm (UTC)
LMAO, this is awesome))) Ttly wish this were part of the actual episode!..
I'm sure Cas would stare at Dean reeeeeally incredulously if Dean ever told him about that future. XDDD
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on October 5th, 2009 05:10 pm (UTC)
I'm sure Cas would stare at Dean reeeeeally incredulously if Dean ever told him about that future. XDDD

Me too-- that is SO far from Castiel's current reality that I don't think he'd believe Dean for a second.

"Never change" is right!
rodlox: snerkrodlox on October 6th, 2009 02:15 am (UTC)
that or he'd ask Dean, "how many Nephilim did I sire?"
mangacat201mangacat201 on October 5th, 2009 10:00 pm (UTC)
Well, he's right after all, the future sucked majorly... MAJOR SUCKAGE... ehehehe
Cat
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on October 5th, 2009 11:21 pm (UTC)
:D It did, and for Dean that can be descriptive enough! Who needs those Lucifer!Sam, trashed!Impala, future!Dean-sending-soldiers-to-their-deaths details, anyway?
mangacat201mangacat201 on October 6th, 2009 06:03 am (UTC)
Well, at least I hope that he'll be hashing out some of those, or our good little Dean will up the ante of kept-secrets on his toll quite a bit towards Sam hmhmmm... still haven't forgotten the first seal.
Cat
The Beauty and the Mess: Cas Wings!lynzibell on October 6th, 2009 02:10 am (UTC)
Amazingness!!!!!!!

This totally happened!!!!

Thank you for sharing!!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on October 6th, 2009 05:16 am (UTC)
Hahahaha! I'm glad you think so!

And getting details out of Dean can be like pulling teeth, unless they happen to totally embarrass someone else. ;)