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23 September 2009 @ 10:50 pm
Supernatural Gen Fiction: "With No End In Sight" (Mystery Spot, PG)  
Title: With No End In Sight
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Sam, Dean (Gen)
Rating: PG
Summary (3x11, "Mystery Spot): Sam lost Dean again today…
Author's Notes: This was originally written for a friend's birthday, an experiment in poetry that I'd hoped would be a drabble on "Repetition." I can't force it down to 100 words without losing its essence, though, so it stands at 148 instead. At least it's no longer in first person...

x-x-x-x-x

He lost Dean again today—
again
after food poisoning, electrocution,
car accidents, knives,
and even bullets from his own gun.

Most days they hardly make it past breakfast.
Sam's hands shake, sitting at that damned diner
where nothing tastes good fifty times later,
especially knowing Dean'll be dead within hours.

Sam's afraid to change anything
(or nothing),
he hasn't found the key
that'll make this stop,
can't even leave town
without Dean dying along the way.

He's cried over Dean 'til he's raw,
held him close while his arms grew heavy.
Then the world tips back over to the beginning,
another verse of the day Dean dies
no matter how Sam tries to prevent it.

He needs a tomorrow where Dean survives,
where life finally moves forward again.
Sam wants out of this cycle of pain,
this trap,
of always missing Dean
even when he's sitting right there.


-------- fin --------

 
 
 
Kronette: SPN-What did Dean do to deserve thiskronette on September 25th, 2009 04:14 am (UTC)
This feels very much like the dispair Sam must have felt during the ep. While the episode had its funny moments, the undertone of helplessness was very strong.

PS-did you get my note about emailing me your address? I have SPN for you. jennifer_shipp "at" sbcglobal.net
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Hughalfshellvenus on September 25th, 2009 05:19 am (UTC)
While the episode had its funny moments, the undertone of helplessness was very strong.

One of the most difficult parts of it, which the show didn't really touch on (the last line of this poem says it all), is that every "day" Dean is there all over again, like nothing has happened, and Sam knows he's going to lose Dean again and can't stop it, and he can't even really talk to Dean about it. Dean doesn't "learn" over time, so every day Sam can only waste energy trying to convince Dean of something that seems ridiculous, and then lose him again anyway.

It must have been so lonely, going through that and not being able to turn to Dean and have him make you feel better, or at least understand what you're going through.

I'm so sorry about the delay in sending you my address-- if I don't do things immediately, they tend to slip my mind too readily these days. I've sent you email, and thanks so much for burning those eps for me!