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23 July 2009 @ 11:00 pm
Die Hard 4 Slash Fiction: "Number 01 With A Bullet" (John/Matt, PG-13)  
Title: Number 01 With A Bullet
Fandom: Die Hard 4
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: John/Matt (Slash)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A lesson in skill and distraction.
Author's Notes: Happy Birthday, jasmasson! Hope this little something appeals to you!
Also for writers_choice, this is "teach."


"I can't believe you don't know how to shoot a gun."

John was cleaning up the breakfast dishes while Matt finished his half of the giant combo omelet he'd made them both.

"Well, what's to know," Matt commented. "You turn off the safety, you aim, you shoot."

"Does every gun even have a safety?" John pointed out.

"Um… I'm guessing not, since you asked."

"And would you know what it looked like, if a gun did have a safety?"

"Why the obsession with this all of a sudden?" Matt scowled. "Do I bug you about whether you know how to create secure passwords, or why you don't have a home system of your own?"

John rinsed off the frying pan. "All the damn time," he said.

"All right, yeah, I probably do. Whatever. Why would you think I need to know anything about guns?"

"What if I'm working late, and someone breaks in here? Who's going to protect you?"

Matt turned his head away to smile. It was kind of sweet that John worried about him, though he was sure John would probably want to kill him for thinking of it in those terms. "Why would anyone break in here? What's there to steal? Well, other than my computer stuff, 'cause there's a ton of that around here now and it's definitely awesome, but the rest of it, well you know… The sofa and your record collection aren't exactly prime material."

"It's a really comfortable sofa," John noted, smiling slyly. "We've had some great times on it."

"God, I'll say." Matt shivered, remembering the first time he'd straddled John's lap and ridden him there, the corduroy ridges from the fabric leaving lines in his skin. John had held him close afterward, fingers slowly strumming over Matt's hips and lower back, and it had been so fucked-out-perfect and peaceful.

Matt decided that it wouldn't kill him to put John's mind at ease about the gun situation, all things considered. "All right. So you think I should take some shooting lessons?"

"Gun training, kid," John answered, grinning broadly, the relief visible on his face. "And I'm going to teach you."


"This is kind of cozy, McClane, very up-close-and-personal."

John stood behind Matt, the heat from his chest tingling all the way down Matt's back. He steadied Matt's shoulders, then his hips, and lined up Matt's aim.

It felt like John was touching him everywhere, running some kind of semi-public tease, and it was fucking distracting, is what it was. Matt shook his hips to loosen them, letting them brush back into John, and was rewarded with a sharp gasp.


"I see you came loaded for bear," Matt murmured without even turning around. "Brought the big-caliber weapon and everything."

John coughed.

"Yeah all right, I suppose you want me to be all serious and learn stuff now, get to the point and everything." Matt tilted his head and cracked his neck. "Fine, then. Let's do it."

John explained about angles of trajectory and arc-over-distance, and warned him about recoil. "The rest is aiming and finesse, and keeping your cool."

"Like that's possible, with you right there behind me just radiating, the way you always do," Matt muttered. He brought the gun back up, cocked an eye for aim and shot at the paper target.

"Wide," John commented.

"How wide?"

"Missed the target completely, kid. Here, let's move some things around. Small step forward on whichever foot feels more comfortable… Now hold the gun like you're actually right-handed—because you are—and make sure you're not aiming with the wrong eye."

"What does that mean?"

"If the target moves when you close your eye, use the other eye."

Matt adjusted his position, once again under the guidance of John's tempting hands, and aimed again. He shot—and swore he could see a corresponding mark appear on the target. So he shot off four more rounds, trying to refine his results.

John laughed, sounding delighted, and hit the button to bring the target forward. "Look at this—three on the paper, and two of them on the body. Not bad at all!"

Matt grinned. "Feeling a little better now? Though you know I could always have used one of your old football trophies to defend myself, if I had to, and the kitchen's full of stuff—lots of chairs and pots and pans, plus I'm not above throwing knives, I'd totally do that."

John just smiled and shook his head and mounted up a new target, then sent it back out for distance practice again. "Talk to me when you get a couple of good clusters at the heart and head."

Matt leaned into him, rubbed up against him slowly and smiled over his shoulder. "Think I'm already there," he said, taking John's hand and placing it on his hip. "But if a little more personal attention will help, then let's keep going." He rolled his hips slowly under John's touch. "C'mon, McClane—teach me everything you know."

John's fingers dug into Matt's jeans, a bruise-heavy grip that was nothing like the uneven puffs of air against Matt's neck just before John spoke. "Kid," he finally said, voice low and strained as his other hand came around Matt's chest, "I'd be glad to.

"But thank god you're a fast learner, because another hour of this and I'd wind up being your first victim. You're fuckin' killing me."

"Damn right," Matt chuckled, bringing the gun back up to start again. He turned his head just long enough to lean over and whisper in John's ear, lips brushing against the skin:

"Always told you I was awesome…"

-------- fin --------

pezkipezki on July 24th, 2009 06:14 am (UTC)
hmmm lovely, thank you
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: John/Matt Lovehalfshellvenus on July 24th, 2009 07:11 am (UTC)
So glad you enjoyed it-- and I'm glad this pairing still has other fans who love it like I do. :)
moonprincessnatmoonprincessnat on July 24th, 2009 02:28 pm (UTC)
Yay! New John/Matt fic! And this was so cute. I'm sure Matt has a lot of video game experience, and that helps immensely with aim. Good thing, too, as it seems they're getting just a bit overheated at the gun range. ;-) Thanks for sharing.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: John/Matt Lovehalfshellvenus on July 25th, 2009 06:51 am (UTC)
I can't imagine having John McClane crowd your space like that (and so intensely, too!) and not being huuugely distracted by it (and thinking of better things you could be doing together).

I doubt it would take Matt much time to meet John's criteria and move on to an entirely different kind of "gunplay." :)
Jas Massonjasmasson on July 24th, 2009 03:22 pm (UTC)

Thanks so much. I'm so thrilled to read some new John/Matt (as you knew I would be). I love this pairing sooo much. They're so much fun.

"I see you came loaded for bear," Matt murmured without even turning around. "Brought the big-caliber weapon and everything." Hee!

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Birthdayhalfshellvenus on July 25th, 2009 06:51 am (UTC)
So glad you enjoyed it, and it was even finished early for a change (boy, that never happens these days!)

Many happy returns! Hope the day was lovely!
Tigerquiet__tiger on July 25th, 2009 01:40 am (UTC)
Yay! So much love for this! Not that I had any doubt that Matt and John would make target practice sexy. Very nice!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: John/Matt Lovehalfshellvenus on July 25th, 2009 07:28 am (UTC)
Just the physical "placement" for teaching target practice made it the perfect choice for this prompt and this pair, I thought. John knows exactly what he thinks he's doing here, and Matt can't stop getting an entirely different message instead, thanks to John's manhandling and proximity. ;)
Truthful Plum Logical Horse: [this is how we] live freemegyal on July 25th, 2009 02:00 am (UTC)
"I see you came loaded for bear...Brought the big-caliber weapon and everything."

OOohohoho yes he did. This is such hot work, I really enjoyed reading it.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: John/Matt Lovehalfshellvenus on July 25th, 2009 07:32 am (UTC)
Hee! Thank you so much!

This was such fun to work with, because the characters come at it from entirely different directions. John's focused on the task at hand and Matt can't help getting caught up in all the wrong details of the situation. :D

Edited at 2009-07-25 07:32 am (UTC)
artangstartangst on July 26th, 2009 03:15 am (UTC)
So sexy. I like cocky, confident matt :D
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: John/Matt Lovehalfshellvenus on July 26th, 2009 05:59 am (UTC)
:D Me too! There's something about the chemistry he and John have where that tendency toward "smart-ass" shifts into something more confident and teasing for them both. It's a wonderful synergy. :)
max_q: lookbackmax_q on July 26th, 2009 08:57 am (UTC)
I love this gun training situation. It's very sexy and quite visible - I really want to see this John/Matt scene real. Thank you for sharing.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: John/Matt Lovehalfshellvenus on July 27th, 2009 05:49 am (UTC)
Oh, yay-- thank you for your lovely comments! I always hope the reader can visualize the scene as if they're right there watching it, and this is definitely a setup that not only seems possible to me in a John/Matt universe, but also very sexy too!

Proximity, intensity and positioning-- yummy!
korin12lawkorin12law on July 27th, 2009 09:51 pm (UTC)
Ha ha!
I love this! Matt is such a tease and John just has to take it. I would love to post this on my rare slash recs site, The GreyLAW Database.

You can email me at law12.k@gmail.com or reach me hear anytime.

Thanks so much for your consideration,
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: John/Matt Lovehalfshellvenus on August 1st, 2009 07:29 am (UTC)
Re: Ha ha!
So glad you liked this!

Yes, feel free to post this at your site. The more John/Matt love, the better. It's not a well-known fandom, unfortunately.

There's some Iron Man Tony/Rhodey slash here and there. I've got a bunch of them myself, and there are others here on LJ. Wish more people wrote that pairing too!
Kanekokaneko on July 31st, 2009 10:14 pm (UTC)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: John/Matt Lovehalfshellvenus on August 1st, 2009 07:30 am (UTC)
Thank you! I so enjoy how these two tease each other, and "get" each other in spite of their differences.

Not to mention the inherent hotness!
tyrical: DH4_Matttyrical on September 12th, 2009 01:04 pm (UTC)
"Always told you I was awesome…"

Funny, I always say that about you!

Awesome fic hun!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: John/Matt Lovehalfshellvenus on September 13th, 2009 07:42 am (UTC)
Hee! You're too sweet!

And it's so nice to have company in another one of my favorite slash pairings. :)
sara_tsuzukisara_tsuzuki on December 12th, 2010 01:27 am (UTC)
WOA That was hot!!! °0° *droooools*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: John/Matt Lovehalfshellvenus on December 12th, 2010 01:50 am (UTC)
Thank you! Boy, sometimes those random prompts just strike unexpected gold. Never would have thought to write this one otherwise!
tyrical: DH4_Johntyrical on October 23rd, 2013 10:31 pm (UTC)
That was wicked!
Matt is a great tease!
John has great bonding excursions.
Nothing like the smell of gun powder and the power of pistol in your hands to get the blood pumping.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: John/Matt Lovehalfshellvenus on October 24th, 2013 06:31 pm (UTC)
I love Matt and John teasing each other. It's such a huge part of both their personalities, and sexy teasing is even better. :D