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04 June 2009 @ 03:47 pm
Terminator: SCC Fiction - "The Ghost In The Machine" (Derek/Cameron, PG-13)  
Title: The Ghost In The Machine
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Derek/Cameron (Mild Het)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A lifetime ago, she and Derek used to be something more.
Author's Notes: Happy Early Birthday to miss_mandy. I'm pretty sure this is what you'd have asked for anyway. :) Contains spoilers/speculation for S2.
Also for writers_choice, this is "remember."

x-x-x-x-x

They are partners now, allied in the mission to keep John Connor safe into the future. Years ago (a lifetime for one of them), they used to be something more.

There are places on Derek's body that she hasn't seen in years, scars and secret skin alike, hidden from the world, hidden from her. Logic tells her there must be new scars now, new secrets. Sometimes she wonders when and how they might have happened.

His eyes are different now. She cannot categorize it, but there used to be something else in the way he looked at her before. Images rise and scatter inside her—his arms crushing her to his chest, his hand on her breast, his lips against her thigh, the soft expression on his face when they were done. All those moments belonged to Allison, and yet they remain inside the robot that wears her face. Cameron pulls them up and turns them over, trying to match them against what she knows of who Derek is now, in this present that is also the past.

None of those pieces fit.

Her programming tells her that his face is aesthetically pleasing by human standards, but she remembers something different, another way of seeing that Allison alone understood. It drifts out of reach where Cameron cannot catch it, along with the name he no longer calls her.

Cameron is a machine that knows only algorithms and facts, and information learned from analyzing people and events. Behavior is a never-ending puzzle she can only predict. Still, she is 97.5% certain that all these changes in Derek would have caused Allison Young to mourn.


-------- fin --------

 
 
eponin10 on June 5th, 2009 12:19 pm (UTC)
Lovely. That last line is perfect.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Random Fandomhalfshellvenus on June 5th, 2009 04:00 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I love the melancholy that I think the reader can sense but the narrator herself does not feel.

And poor Derek, being confronted with that loss on an ongoing basis. The companion drabble to this story is his (both written for the same person).
elliesmeowelliesmeow on June 6th, 2009 12:21 am (UTC)
That was sweet and sad. Thanks for sharing it with us.

-Ellie
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Random Fandomhalfshellvenus on June 6th, 2009 07:03 am (UTC)
I'm glad you liked it! I would so love to have seen what S3 might have revealed to us. The hint of this past between Derek and Allison was only the beginning of the things I would have liked to discover had the show continued.

Thanks for commenting!
miss_mandy on June 7th, 2009 05:16 am (UTC)
Thank you for the birthday fic, you know I loves me some Derek/Cameron. :D

I like the idea of Allison's memories still lurking somewhere inside Cameron and making her more human. And poor Derek, having to look at Allison's face every day and know that it's not her anymore.

Great little ficlet! <3
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Birthdayhalfshellvenus on June 7th, 2009 06:06 am (UTC)
I even made it to the PG-13, and some hint of smuttage. Hope that brought a little satisfaction. :)

We know from "Allison From Palmdale" that Cameron has some of Allison's memories. It's almost unfair that those hints of Allison with Derek are trapped in there, unloved, while on the outside of it all Derek lives with the daily reminders of what probably still matters, even after all this time. *sniffle*

Hope it was a great birthday, and that the coming year is good to you!
b.: pic#88972551whereupon on June 7th, 2009 08:38 pm (UTC)
I love the melancholy of this, and of course how it all comes together, especially with the companion piece. You keep getting it right, these characters and their stories and how it could have been, how it should have been. I love this one, too, very much.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Random Fandomhalfshellvenus on June 7th, 2009 09:57 pm (UTC)
The melancholy is my favorite part as well-- there is such reflected sadness for Allison and for Derek, while the narrator feels none of it. Her lack of feeling actually works to cause the ache, and how I wish we knew where it was all supposed to get.

Yet I'm so pleased with the hints we were given, so much more interesting than I'd already expected all of that future-that-is-also-the-past to be.

I'm glad you liked this one too, and I appreciate your reading it!
hunters_retreat: More Than Bloodhunters_retreat on August 11th, 2009 07:42 am (UTC)
Absolutely amazing! I love this story. Thank you so much for sharing it!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Random Fandomhalfshellvenus on September 20th, 2009 08:07 pm (UTC)
Thanks for reading! What an interesting set of possibilities that finale raised, and I'm just sorry we won't be able to see where they go!
...ism ism ism: Terminator::Terminated Icongega_cai on August 13th, 2009 06:10 pm (UTC)
Oh, this is good.

I love the idea of a Allison's memories and, well, being, are struggling inside the machine that wants to be more Allison-like because it is function to be as human-like as possible. This fic touches on all the kinds of conflict that could arise in Cameron --a ghost in the machine for sure

Still, she is 97.5% certain that all these changes in Derek would have caused Allison Young to mourn.

Aw, Derek :(
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Random Fandomhalfshellvenus on September 20th, 2009 08:10 pm (UTC)
are struggling inside the machine that wants to be more Allison-like because it is function to be as human-like as possible.

It's both ironic and sad, because she HAS all the components of what once was Allison's humanity, but they'll always be held at a distance because she can only comprehend the patterns and the 'rules' but never the whim and drive of feelings themselves.

This fic touches on all the kinds of conflict that could arise in Cameron --a ghost in the machine for sure
It's such a common phrase, but it so defined the content of this story that I couldn't resist using it.

One of the things that most surprised me, in writing this, is how clearly the sense of melancholy comes through on Allison's behalf, even though Cameron can't feel any of it herself.

Awesome icon, BTW. :)