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28 February 2006 @ 10:29 pm
Supernatural Musings: Dean finally said it...  
... and it didn't change Sam's heart. And I know why it didn't-- and shouldn't-- but it's still just Heartbreak. I saw the slashy possibilities in that scene as much as anyone, but mostly I saw a lot of Lost Child in Dean this episode, and very much so in that scene. mooyoo said it on her journal: it's the child's desire to go back to what was 'perfect,' when everyone was together and happy, and not understanding that that time has passed. There is no such place.

It's worse because you know that, for Dean, given what he expects to do with his life (and thinks that he should be doing), that's as good as it's ever going to get. It was so painful to watch him struggle through saying that, and to still be told "No" in the end. Jensen rocked my socks off with this episode's acting in his angsty scenes, and that one was the prizewinner.


These are stolen from comments I made in maygra's journal...

The biggest heartbreak of this episode was Dean finally saying what he's never said and has tried to avoid saying, and then... it didn't make a difference. Not from Dean's perspective. He knows Sam loves him, but Sam won't stay-- and given that he's a key component of what passes for happiness in Dean... *Sigh*. Just made me think, this is how we teach people not to reveal their feelings-- we pass over them or punish them if we do.

And yet, I totally understand Sam's not wanting that. I feel worse that this is all Dean aspires to, actually.

At the end, I may have gotten something different from that last scene than most people. I saw Sam feeling what Dean had felt before-- having to let someone go that you'd finally gotten back, when every part of you was screaming to hang onto them. And I saw Dean realizing that Sam feels that now, and maybe understands... but it still didn't make Dean feel any better (he was the most teary-eyed of anybody in that last scene with their dad, it seemed).

Hmmm. *Unpopular opinion warning* I am again not feeling the Papa Winchester love. I get that he loves his boys, and I truly believe he does-- and that he's doing what he thinks is right. But at the same time, that militaristic interaction they have with him really rubs the wrong way, and the fact that Dean can't fathom normalcy-- will never have his own children and family for instance... I know their father didn't do that to them on purpose, but it still reflects very badly on him in my book. He's a gray character (like a real person)-- he's not going to go much closer to the white for me, that's for sure. *Sorry*

I still hate the Meg actress, but I do like the Daddy Winchester actor (more than his character).

Interesting noire overtones to this episode (it was mostly endless night throughout), and it amused me no end that it was set in Chicago but yet... who could tell? :0 Granted, I haven't been ALL over Chicago, but this looked like any bar and any warehouse district of any large city. Where's the creepiness down by the lake? The Els? The River? Budget. What was that? Budget. Damnit, can't you pull your asses out of Vancouver at least once a season?

Loved the daevas, though.
 
 
 
mooyoo: SN - Flash Deanmooyoo on March 1st, 2006 08:57 pm (UTC)
I still hate the Meg actress, but I do like the Daddy Winchester actor (more than his character).

I think Meg wouldn't bother me nearly as much if I didn't hate the actress so much and find her so annoying and bad. But Daddy Winchester actor I love, especially in the reuinion scene - loved the "hey boys." Something about that really struck me, loved it.

it was set in Chicago but yet... who could tell?

Haha, I was laughing about that for a while. I've never even been to Chicago, but that looked so off to me :P Why did it even need to be Chicago, anyway? When they labelled it at the beginning of the episode it seemed like the setting would have a bit more relevance, but... not really, it seems. Heh. I guess they could've taken a little road trip if they wanted it to be Chicago so badly - they could've hung out with the Prison Break folks! And planned a crossover! Where Michael and Linc hitch a ride with Sam and Dean! *really really want some PB/SN fic :P*

And yet, I totally understand Sam's not wanting that.

That's why I can't blame Sam at all for saying what he did, even though it hurt Dean to hear it - much as I tend to side with Dean on things, this is once instance where I can really understand Sam's POV and why he had to say it, had to tell Dean that they can't go back to the way things were, and even if they could - he wasn't happy with that and it's just not what he wants. And it's so sad that this is all Dean wants out of his life, that he's okay with doing this forever as long as he had his family with him, and it's just not going to work out like that.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Gen: icon by Tinamishihalfshellvenus on March 2nd, 2006 07:11 am (UTC)
*really really want some PB/SN fic :P*
I have a drabble for you. It's in the middle of When Fandoms Collide. Also requested by la_folle_allure, although it's not going to turn out the way she wants :0

And it's so sad that this is all Dean wants out of his life, that he's okay with doing this forever as long as he had his family with him, and it's just not going to work out like that.
And that's what's so sad. Because I totally understand him wanting that too. Being with this whole family, doing what he needs/wants to do... you can't fault him for wanting that. I don't blame Sam for not wanting it, but I do blame him for not handling that better. Have the grace to offer some real comfort when you're ripping someone's heart out. Please.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Gen: icon by Tinamishihalfshellvenus on March 2nd, 2006 07:16 am (UTC)
Oh, and why do you resist the Dream a Little Dream SN fic? Have you not read it yet?

Angsty. Sweet. Brothers. :D
mooyoo: Dean/Sam sittingmooyoo on March 2nd, 2006 07:22 am (UTC)
Yeah, haven't read it yet. I've been keeping up pretty well with Prison Break fic, but falling behind on the Supernatural lately. I'll get to it, promise :) I just skimmed through the crossover drabbles (mostly to read the PB one and squee over it :P) but I'll read the rest of it tonight.