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22 February 2006 @ 10:23 pm
Prison Break FanFiction: Waiting For Yes  
Title: Waiting For Yes
Characters: Lincoln/Michael (Slash)
Rating:PG-13
Summary: Lincoln struggles to make himself heard against Michael’s conviction that he will ultimately leave for a better offer.
Author's Notes: Post-Escape, Established Relationship. This follows directly after “No Soft Tomorrow.” Written for the fanfic100 challenge, where I have the slash pairing of Lincoln and Michael, this is for prompt #86, “Choices.”

x-x-x-x-x

Lincoln woke to the sound of the shower running. His entire body ached, and his head felt like he’d been hit with a brick. He stared at the ceiling awhile, remembering the confusion of the previous night, and … his head hurt all over again. Michael had decided—for both of them, apparently—that more thinking was in order on Lincoln’s part. So given how great things had been between them, how close they had become in this private paradise, what exactly was he supposed to be thinking about?

There was nothing like being blindsided, and Michael could do it to him every time.

He sat up slowly, rubbing his hands through his hair. He could practically see the eggshell path laid out before him that these next few days or weeks were going to be taking.

It was enough to make a man go right back to bed and stay there.

~*~

Michael slipped right into the bedroom without even looking his way, and after a few minutes of staring at the closed door Lincoln decided not to push. He took his own shower, and the bedroom was empty by the time he needed some clothes.

He dressed and went into the kitchen. It, too, was empty. He appeared to be the only one home right now. So this was how it would begin. Avoidance and awkwardness and god knew how he was going to start putting all this right again.

Michael was still gone all through a slow breakfast and two cups of coffee. Lincoln was getting edgy. He didn’t like how things were going and there was nothing he could do about it right that second. Damned if he was going to sit around for hours and wait for the other shoe to drop. He put his dishes in the sink and headed down to the beach. He could walk it off, even run if he wanted to, and see where things lay when he got back.

~*~

After blowing off some steam for awhile, Lincoln came up through town about half a mile down the beach, and wandered through the neighboring streets before getting back to the house. The car was back. He wondered if Michael would be home, or if he’d slipped out onto the beach himself to further delay any chance for them to talk to each other.

He entered the house quietly. Maybe he’d caught Michael by surprise. His brother was out on the back porch, probably expecting Lincoln to come up from the beach below.

Enough dodging around. Lincoln went out the back door and leaned back against it, taking in the situation. There was his brother, a beer, and there were a couple of small bowls on the floor.

“What’s that?” he said.

“Cat food.” Michael’s gaze was fixed out at sea.

“I can see that. I mean, why?”

“There’s a cat that comes around here sometimes, that doesn’t look like it has a home. I like it.”

Lincoln frowned. “Skunks like cat food, too.”

Michael’s face was bland. “I can tell them apart.”

Lincoln started to roll his eyes at that, but noticed the corner of Michael’s mouth starting to turn up. “You just like fucking with me, don’t you?”

Michael’s face clouded over immediately, and his smile was humorless. “You know I do.”

God, he’d walked right into that one. “You’re not the only one that enjoys that, Michael.” His kept his voice quiet, and tried to let the sincerity speak for itself.

“It’s not a question of enjoying it, Lincoln. That part’s pretty obvious. But it’s more than that for me. This is something I need. And I’m not sure it’s at all like that for you.”

“Why would you think I don’t need it too?”

“Well, I’m not talking about needing sex. Everybody needs that. I’m talking about an emotional need to be with me.”

“But I am with you. I like being with you. I guess I really don’t see where all this doubt is coming from.”

Michael sighed. “It’s like this: I still think that if something came by—or someone—that you liked better, you could walk away like that. And for me, there’s no chance for there to be anyone better. This was all I ever wanted anyway. I’m not waiting for a silver lining— for me, this is it. This is already better than anything I’ve ever had.”

“So you think I don’t love you enough.” That had to be it, Lincoln thought.

“I don’t know,” Michael said quietly. “Maybe it’s not a question of how much. Maybe it’s a question of how real this is to you—and how real it can continue to be.”

Lincoln’s head was starting to hurt. This had the makings of so many impenetrable conversations he’d had with Michael over the years. Real. Not real. What was the question again? “Do you… think I’m confused about whether this is happening?” he asked. God, please let it not be philosophy. I’m not up for wrangling through that right now.

Michael looked at him kind of strangely. “I mean, have you thought about what happens when we get back to the regular world? Will we keep trying to be together? How will we manage that?”

Okay. This, he got. “First of all, we might decide we like it here. We might choose not to go back. Second, no matter where we are, what’s to stop us from going forward? We could find a place to live together, and it wouldn’t be anyone else’s business.”

“What about LJ?” Michael asked. “And people coming over? They’re bound to guess at some point that we’re a couple.”

“Get extra bedrooms, pretend to use the one we don’t need. People have been doing that for centuries. It doesn’t have to be that complicated.”

“But would you feel comfortable living like that? Hiding out forever?”

“Compared to a cage with bars and nothing to look forward to but a date with The Chair? Yeah, I think I can manage that.” And Lincoln realized he might have gone a little too far there. Michael’s face had frozen. He tried to backtrack. “Okay… that came out wrong.”

“You think?” Michael stood up abruptly and started down the steps, his movements stiff and unbalanced.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Lincoln chased after him and caught him by the arm briefly before Michael jerked away. “Michael!” he said. “Stop, please—don’t run off in the middle of this.”

Michael’s jaw was clenched, and Lincoln was just making everything worse. “You’re a fine person to talk about running out on things.”

“What? Is this about when I moved in with Lisa? We had a baby coming, Michael. I had to do that.”

“That’s not what I’m saying. You were ‘gone’ long before you left our house. Not always, and not every day, but mentally you’d checked out years before that.”

Lincoln sighed. It wasn’t like he’d ever expected Michael to forget about that, or even to forgive him, but—“You have no idea how much I regret that. Really. I’m sorry I didn’t do more all those years ago.” He touched Michael’s shoulder gently. “I’d like to think I’ve learned something since then.”

Michael still wouldn’t look at him. “All right. Can you tell me this, then: if Veronica were to come here and tell you she wanted the two of you to be together again… can you be sure you wouldn’t be tempted by that? Because if not, well, I kind of want to know that now. Where did you really want to be spending the rest of your life? Who did you want to spend it with?”

Lincoln thought about it for a moment, about everything Veronica was. She’d been his missed opportunity for so long, the “almost” he’d finally found after their earliest attempts had failed. He’d loved her too soon, back when they were just too young—when he was too young—and he’d wasted his chances chasing after other girls without realizing that that might just be an unforgivable thing. She’d never quite trusted him after that—and she was right not to. He’d flown from Lisa’s bed to hers and back again, pushing her love and every perfect part of her farther and farther away.

Part of him had always hoped there could be a time when it would all come together for the two of them, when it would finally be lasting and right.

Looking at that dream now, against the backdrop of these last few months with Michael, he saw the reality he’d never admitted. There had been love and inescapable desire, and yet they’d never really meshed outside the bedroom. Always pulling in different directions, with so many wrong moves and wrong motives, their words had crossed and collided without end. Their love had never been at rest for very long. That fantasy of living with a single heart in a shared life… was never meant to be. Beyond the blame of sexual distractions, there was a reason why Lincoln had never stayed. It was simply that the combination of the two of them had failed to persuade him.

In this short time he’d had with Michael, it was all so different. They’d been closer and more completely paired than he’d ever been with anyone. They had a shared depth of love that went beyond the bonds of brotherhood. Even with old irritations and conflicts— and misunderstandings like the one that had led them to today’s uncomfortable state—there was the willingness and the need to try. The drive to heal, to return to balance, propelled them together again and again. It was more than comfort and companionship. It was completion. And it was staring him in the face.

“No,” he answered.

Michael looked confused. “No to what?”

“No, I’m not waiting for Veronica. And she is definitely not what I’m looking for. Not anymore.”

The words tumbled unexpectedly out of Michael’s mouth. “But—why not?”

“Because…” and Lincoln moved closer, gently reaching for Michael’s arm again. “I can see now that something was always missing with her. Something basic and important that I didn’t even have a name for.” He stroked Michael’s arm softly, his fingers brushing over those tattooed images of death and damnation… and devotion. “You bring me so much happiness, so much peace. You make me more than I am. And all I have to do is love you in return.” His hand flowed up Michael’s shoulder and neck to gently brush over those flushed and waiting cheeks. “Even a guy like me can tell that’s how it’s supposed to be.”

Michael’s eyes were so large and lost, his mind still trailing a few words behind what Lincoln had said. The kiss arrived before the meaning that foretold it, and still he succumbed to it like everything about his brother he was never able to resist. He lifted and opened instantly, and then threw his arms around Lincoln in a crushing embrace when he finally realized what had been said.

Underneath everything he had expected to hear, Lincoln’s choice had not been No.

Unbelievably and impossibly… the answer was Yes.



-------- fin --------

 
 
 
BEWARE OF JENMAR.: Conan Groupie!clex_monkie89 on February 23rd, 2006 06:51 am (UTC)
I love this! I'm so happy I have time to read now because this was awesome and great and I love them so much!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: kissMichaelhalfshellvenus on February 23rd, 2006 06:54 am (UTC)
love this! I'm so happy I have time to read now because this was awesome and great and I love them so much!

So, does that mean you're getting caught up now? Beyond just the drabbles?

And did you read the prior ones in the "Paradise" Post-Escape arc? This will make more sense if you do :P I'll probably have to re-organize my main fic-page so that these are an obvious grouping...
(no subject) - clex_monkie89 on February 23rd, 2006 06:59 am (UTC) (Expand)
mooyoo: Julia&Elissa did aquatic M/L!mooyoo on February 23rd, 2006 07:07 am (UTC)
Eee! Yay for love! Yay for the talking and working things out! Really liked it. One of the things I kind of randomly liked the most about it was addressing the "what'll we do out in the real world" question, and about LJ, etc. I love them actually thinking about the future and how they'll deal with their relationship if/when things change.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB slash by tinamishihalfshellvenus on February 23rd, 2006 06:00 pm (UTC)
One of the things I kind of randomly liked the most about it was addressing the "what'll we do out in the real world" question, and about LJ, etc.

thelana's been asking that question forever. Bet she'll say that she wanted them to trash the relationship altogether, though-- she's usually not a happy ending type of slash fan.

Ahhhh. Now I can go back to writing the (mostly) happySlash! What relief...
The Good, The Bad and The Lana: brothers promo doublethelana on February 23rd, 2006 07:43 am (UTC)
Part of me wanted to get this another dimension of fucked up where Lincoln suddenly starts arguing about who he owes more, rather than about who he loves more. Which of course would totally make Michael's head explode.

Lincoln's "Well, it beats living in a cage" comment made me laugh out loud because I'm mean that way. And I love Michael giving Lincoln a headache.

I like the way you defined Linocln/Veronica and what their dynamics were. And yay! for an LJ mention. After all there is also the aspect that LJ is not that far away from being an adult agewise.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB slash by tinamishihalfshellvenus on February 23rd, 2006 07:20 pm (UTC)
Part of me wanted to get this another dimension of fucked up where Lincoln suddenly starts arguing about who he owes more, rather than about who he loves more.
I think Michael would win that one too, but I'm not sure he'd like feeling like Lincoln was staying out of some form of duty.

Lincoln's "Well, it beats living in a cage" comment made me laugh out loud because I'm mean that way. Yes, me too :0

I like the way you defined Linocln/Veronica and what their dynamics were.
This gave me a good chance to explore what their relationship might have been like, and why it didn't work out-- and maybe never would. Hey, I prefer having him wind up with Michael, as you know. And I think Lincoln and Veronica would ultimately still continue to frustrate each other. They are cut from different cloths, and NOT in a complementary way. He and Michael are different, but more in a Yin/Yang way which can sometimes find its own balance. I.e., filling in the pieces of the other rather than just failing to "mesh."

And yay! for an LJ mention. It was unavoidable if they're talking about the big picture. Although I definitely was thinking of you when I wrote it :D
(no subject) - thelana on February 23rd, 2006 07:25 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on February 23rd, 2006 08:19 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thelana on February 23rd, 2006 08:37 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on February 23rd, 2006 09:19 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thelana on February 23rd, 2006 09:27 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on February 23rd, 2006 09:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thelana on February 23rd, 2006 09:47 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on February 24th, 2006 06:34 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mooyoo on February 24th, 2006 06:20 am (UTC) (Expand)
Are we back to hos over bros?lissa_bear on February 23rd, 2006 10:36 pm (UTC)
I haven't read any of the other comments to this post, so I might be repeating what others have already said, but I adore this ending! I love that Michael takes a few seconds to process what was said and what it all means. And I love Lincoln's though process. Your Lincoln is so unlike everyone else's and I love him and you for writing him! This was just really, really lovely!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: kissMichaelhalfshellvenus on February 24th, 2006 12:41 am (UTC)
Your Lincoln is so unlike everyone else's and I love him and you for writing him!

The question is whether that's a good thing or not :0 He's no genius, obviously, but not completely dumb. And I would like there to be some reason that Michael cares so much for him-- some qualities worth loving.

I love that Michael takes a few seconds to process what was said and what it all means.
Not the answer he expected, obviously! But he'll sleep well tonight... :D

So glad you enjoyed this, Elissa.
dawnstarrising: Lincolndawnstarrising on February 23rd, 2006 10:41 pm (UTC)
Squeee!!!!
Absolutely loved it!

“You bring me so much happiness, so much peace. You make me more than I am. And all I have to do is love you in return.” His hand flowed up Michael’s shoulder and neck to gently brush over those flushed and waiting cheeks. “Even a guy like me can tell that’s how it’s supposed to be.”

*bigsquishyhug*

I have the biggest grin on my face right now!

Have I told you how much I love your stories lately? *g*

Thank you for that.

D
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: kissMichaelhalfshellvenus on February 24th, 2006 01:28 am (UTC)
Re: Squeee!!!!
“Even a guy like me can tell that’s how it’s supposed to be.”
I see you picked the quote where Lincoln admits his own... limitations. :)

Have I told you how much I love your stories lately? *g*

Apparently just now!

So glad you enjoyed this one. Ah-- sweet, sweet resolution. I've been looking forwarding to getting this part finished :D

I'll have a Genfic in the next day or so, an angsty remembrance of the boys' mother...
Re: Squeee!!!! - dawnstarrising on February 25th, 2006 12:32 am (UTC) (Expand)
jeyhawk: wentworth: close upjeyhawk on February 24th, 2006 12:00 am (UTC)
I'm just filled with love today, so many Michael/Lincoln fics for me to read. This one was a particular treat. :0) I love follwoing these two in their struggle for equibrillium (don't mind the spelling). I'm not sure I've really read all the parts but I love (there's that word again) all of them. You write them so true, I can picture Lincoln as the more easy going one that does not feel the need to make complications out of everything and that don't sit down and look at every situation from every possibly angle and your Michael is just so...right. :0)

Thanks for sharing!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: kissMichaelhalfshellvenus on February 24th, 2006 01:34 am (UTC)
This one was a particular treat. :0) I love follwoing these two in their struggle for equibrillium (don't mind the spelling).
It's been a struggle, but I think a pretty realistic one (if a brothercest story can be realistic!). Given who they both are, these are the conflicts that are likely to arise-- apart from the whole brother angle. And then the added complications from that really increase their issues.

I'm not sure I've really read all the parts
If you start from "Paradise" on my LiveJournal homepage (PB Slash section) and work down, you'll hit all the parts of this arc. At some point, I'll re-arrange the page so that this arc is clear in its own home area.

You write them so true, I can picture Lincoln as the more easy going one that does not feel the need to make complications out of everything and that don't sit down and look at every situation from every possibly angle
Exactly-- do it, don't belabor it. Although the downside of this more action-oriented personality is the Fist!Face problem that has gotten Lincoln into trouble again and again...

and your Michael is just so...right. :0)
So glad to hear you say that. He's more clear to me now than when I first started to write him-- but that was so early in the show, before he displayed any actual emotions. Now we can see that he has sometimes overwhelming emotions, which makes him more interesting than a purely cerebral character.

Haven't forgotten about your multi-chapter Linc/Michael work. I just need to catch up-- I've only read chapter 1 thus far. It's on my list!


(no subject) - thelana on February 24th, 2006 02:05 am (UTC) (Expand)
Kimberleylampshade_days on February 24th, 2006 12:05 am (UTC)
*Love* your analysis of the Lincoln/Veronica relationship as compared to the Lincoln/Michael relationship. I'm not the biggest Veronica fan in the world, so of course I'm sitting here going, "Pssh. Clearly Michael > Veronica," but of course it's not as obvious for Lincoln. The silly man.

The cat food thing amuses me. Seems like something Michael would do, really.

And the ending was cuteness. I can totally picture Michael, all big blue eyes trying to process what Lincoln had just told him. Awww.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: kissMichaelhalfshellvenus on February 24th, 2006 01:39 am (UTC)
*Love* your analysis of the Lincoln/Veronica relationship as compared to the Lincoln/Michael relationship.
I'm admittedly behind in my fic reading, but I'm not sure anyone has covered the full potential of whether Linc/Veronica can ever work out and why it didn't before. So this was my chance to examine it and draw my own (biased toward Michael) conclusion :)

The cat food thing amuses me. Seems like something Michael would do, really.
And yet Lincoln has a point about skunks, which is why it was so irrestible to write that. Plus Michael's comeback.

And the ending was cuteness. I can totally picture Michael, all big blue eyes trying to process what Lincoln had just told him. Awww.
Makes a nice picture, doesn't it? So quick on the factual, but not always up-to-speed on the emotional.

Thanks for your lovely comments :) Say, got anything to contribute to my Stories I Never Wrote You? Need some more participants! I'm feeling lucky...

(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB slash by tinamishihalfshellvenus on February 24th, 2006 05:33 pm (UTC)
Thank you :)

It was an uncomfortable journey, but fun to write. Still-- glad to be back in the happy place again! That can only lead to more slashy goodness :)
jamiepbfan on February 27th, 2006 01:53 am (UTC)
Wow..you have really outdone yourself Karen..i loved this fic. Almost made me want a tissue...

“You bring me so much happiness, so much peace. You make me more than I am. And all I have to do is love you in return.”

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!! Im glad to finally see things worked, i think you did an excellent job keeping us on the edge of our seats!!!!!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB slash by tinamishihalfshellvenus on February 27th, 2006 02:51 am (UTC)
I'm glad you enjoyed this one. The arc-o-angst is finally finished!

Im glad to finally see things worked.
Yes, me too. It's the romantic in me. I'm not the kind to drop a plane on someone just when the happy part is finally starting.

If the drawing out of the conflict worked well, then I am very, very satisfied :D
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB slash by tinamishihalfshellvenus on March 19th, 2006 07:05 pm (UTC)
Are you planning on continuing it? I know that this chapter had an ending but it would be nice to see it continued.
I AM planning to go on from here. It's a matter of getting all those plot bunnies completed on my current things (I have 2 half-completed fics now that I want to get finished).

I love a nice big of angst that has a happy/semi-happy ending :)
You're in good company ;) I think most of us do...

Glad you enjoyed this arc-- it's happier if you read the fics before it (starting with "Paradise"). Then you can get a feeling of what Michael's fighting for.
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB slash by tinamishihalfshellvenus on March 20th, 2006 05:44 am (UTC)
but in the end the weave will hold fast and keep them together.
And that's the important part. :)

I'm so glad Lincoln opened up finally. I guess Michael isn't the only one that needs patience, huh. LOL
It's easy to get a little frustrated with him, but at the same time these last two chapters show a little of how aggravating Michael can be as well!

So glad you enjoyed this, Debbie. Put your mind at ease now? :D
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB slashhalfshellvenus on April 1st, 2006 08:36 pm (UTC)
deep deep heartfelt sigh.. wow.. the entire thing was just wow.. sigh..

Thank you-- so glad you enjoyed the whole arc and its final, so-longed-for-but-never-expected sweet resolution. :)
B: bbmstrifechaos on April 11th, 2006 06:01 am (UTC)
Awww! I got all teary eyed at the end. This was unbelievably sweet and just the perfect ending, and awwww! *uber sigh* It was just the right amount of fluff. God now I've got a stupid ass grin on my face that won't leave, this just makes me all sappy inside. *grins*

These two boys are utterly adorable, and you represent their characters above and beyond anything I've read before. The skunk/cat food scene made me snort, Lincoln being so serious about skunks coming up and eating the food and Michael just deadpanning that he can tell the difference between them. *smiles*

Love your work, it always leaves me feeling uplifted. *grins* *glomps* *waves*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB slashhalfshellvenus on April 11th, 2006 05:10 pm (UTC)
It was just the right amount of fluff. God now I've got a stupid ass grin on my face that won't leave, this just makes me all sappy inside.
That makes me unbelievably happy. :D The mood took you to all the right places, then.

The skunk/cat food scene made me snort, Lincoln being so serious about skunks coming up and eating the food and Michael just deadpanning that he can tell the difference between them.
That was actually the first part of the story that was written-- a scene that was waiting for a home somewhere in this arc. Because it killed me too-- each of them being so evilly themselves there. ;)

Love your work, it always leaves me feeling uplifted.
Well, most of the slash stuff probably. Lincoln's recent events in the first two of the last 3 episodes really brought out the anst. BUT... can't help it. The show went there, and then they left the job unfinished.

M/L love-- when it's mutual-- is a very happy place. And it usually IS mutual, in my stuff, thank goodness. ;)

*Waves back* Don't be a stranger! (yes, I know-- stupid RL getting in the way of life :D)
tyrical: PB_brotherstyrical on April 13th, 2006 01:21 pm (UTC)
Oh my that was just lovely.
So poignant, such meaning, I really loved how Lincoln finally expressed himself.
I loved that it took Michael a while to processes it. Oh I, just loved it.
The whole thing from Michael's misunderstanding and understandable doubt.
Much love for this series.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: kissMichaelhalfshellvenus on April 16th, 2006 04:45 am (UTC)
So poignant, such meaning, I really loved how Lincoln finally expressed himself.
:D He's not exactly elegant in how he puts things, but eventually he usually breaks through. When he doesn't spin Michael in the wrong direction by mistake. ;)

The whole thing from Michael's misunderstanding and understandable doubt. Much love for this series.
Thank you so much. :D I'm glad you had a chance to catch up with it, and the resolution that was finally waiting at the end.

SO much fun to be had in post-escape Universes. Probably more fun than canon will let me have. :0
muggy69muggy69 on November 23rd, 2008 11:21 am (UTC)
ok i have read about half of your story's on these two sweet ass brothers. you are doing a great job you make everything so believable. there is so much love there in them for each other if you can get that across in a there love for each other that is half the battle and then to pull off the really hot and steamy sex is out of this world. needless to say i love your writing i have also read some of your dean and sam which is a real kinks for me they are also hot and great. xoxoxoxox
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB slashhalfshellvenus on January 1st, 2010 09:13 pm (UTC)
So glad you've enjoyed this series, and the SPN stories as well!

I so miss the days when Michael and Lincoln (and Sam and Dean) loved each other so strongly, when they would do dangerous and foolish things to save each other. *sigh*

But in fanfic, we can always relive those moments again!