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23 October 2008 @ 10:53 am
Ramblings on Ancietude  
Having had a few days now to get used to being 45... this one seems a little harder than the last birthday. Is it being closer to 50 than to 40? What?

Physically, there aren't too many changes from last year. A little extra weight (on top of the extra weight, grrr). The shoulder-rot problem came (February) and left (September?). \o? I've still got the stress-related acne going on, and the less-than-working nose (I'm really considering that surgery, before my copay rates go up). I've got a back-of-the-neck rash/itchiness thing going on that flares and wanes, and I'm ready to talk to my doctor about all this stuff as soon as I get the mammogram I've received five letters about.

I'm 45 now...

Whippersnapper!
5(16.1%)
So?
21(67.7%)
Oooold.
2(6.5%)
You're typing this from the grave?
3(9.7%)

It's funny, my mother said that she didn't really notice being older until she turned 70. I wonder if it would be the same if I were less of an avid exerciser. I've still got major stamina, though I've lost a little speed and the recovery turnaround matters more. A woman at work who's been through this mentioned that this tends to hit women around age 40 and men around 50. That explains why I no longer bike with the guy at work who is my age, but is still in the 'performance category.' That "C'mon, pick it up!" attitude gets annoying after awhile. ;) But if I were just walking and doing yardwork, I doubt I'd notice much. Advil is my friend. :)

I don't know. It feels older somehow. My youth, where did it go?

ETA randomness: Eating a pomegranate at your desk and trying not to 'set something off' is like defusing a bomb. Possibly messier. :0

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jeyhawk: jensen: redjeyhawk on October 23rd, 2008 07:02 pm (UTC)
Belated happy birthday! :0) I'm really horrible with remembering stuff like this. *g*

*hugs*

I think that you are no older than you make yourself, which lands me firmly at 14 year old and emo. I think it's something about the way I dress. :0P

(On the other hand if you go by, you are no older than you feel, I'd be about 105. *g*)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on October 23rd, 2008 07:05 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the birthday wishes! I know yours is coming up at the end of the month (same day as Wendy), though you two (and Bryn) are all on the Scorpio side of things.

which lands me firmly at 14 year old and emo.
Eeee. And hee!

(On the other hand if you go by, you are no older than you feel, I'd be about 105. *g*)
It's work! I swear, work makes people old. :0
LindaMlinda3m on October 23rd, 2008 07:23 pm (UTC)
Happy belated Birthday. I understand completely! I'll be 47 in a few months and there are days when I look around and ask, 'when did every one get so young?'

My advice - go out and do something totally immature. It's good for you.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on October 23rd, 2008 07:28 pm (UTC)
I'll be 47 in a few months and there are days when I look around and ask, 'when did every one get so young?'
That's pretty much it! Almost all of our kids' friends' parents are younger than we are (sometimes MUCH), and newbies are getting hired into the office all the time. I'm still younger than my husband, but still!

My advice - go out and do something totally immature. It's good for you.
That kind of thing always embarrassed me, even when I WAS younger. Maybe that's my problem-- I was born a grownup!
(no subject) - linda3m on October 23rd, 2008 08:32 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on October 23rd, 2008 09:11 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Princess Robot Bubblegum!: *facepalm*astrothsknot on October 23rd, 2008 07:24 pm (UTC)
You're only as old as the man you're feeling.

This is just me, but it's really weird to think of you being your age and having kids way younger than mine...but I guess some of us behaved in university...
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on October 23rd, 2008 07:30 pm (UTC)
You're only as old as the man you're feeling.
Now there's a motto I can live by! Although since my husband's 8 years older, um...

but it's really weird to think of you being your age and having kids way younger than mine...but I guess some of us behaved in university...
We also waited awhile to have some "couple" time before having kids, so I was almost 33 when Lauren was born and almost 35 when Christopher was born. Their friends' parents' are generally younger than we are too. :0

And Lauren's 11. It's Christopher who's younger (9 going on 7, I often think). :0
(no subject) - astrothsknot on October 23rd, 2008 07:33 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on October 23rd, 2008 09:10 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - astrothsknot on October 23rd, 2008 09:15 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on October 23rd, 2008 09:30 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Ariss Tenohariss_tenoh on October 23rd, 2008 07:28 pm (UTC)
This may sound cliche but age is just a figure. I know a few women near your age or above it who are more "young" than women half their age^_^
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on October 23rd, 2008 07:31 pm (UTC)
I usually believe that too, but it's hitting me more this week. Perhaps because I remember being the age so many people around me are now! And it was awhile back, too!
cindy: spn - dean facepalm (by mixedbatch)tsuki_no_bara on October 23rd, 2008 07:29 pm (UTC)
you're a whopping six years older than me, so the "ooooold" is totally a joke. :D
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Ice-T Smackdownhalfshellvenus on October 23rd, 2008 07:31 pm (UTC)
Heh-heh. I'm just waiting for someone to click the last box. Be brave! Click it! :D
Princess Robot Bubblegum!astrothsknot on October 23rd, 2008 07:32 pm (UTC)
Stop replying while I'm editing!

To be fair, age these days is just a number. I know plenty women younger than me who can't walk up the stairs and in this months' H&F is an 80yo woman who runs marathons. And how much of that weight is muscle?
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on October 23rd, 2008 07:35 pm (UTC)
I know plenty women younger than me who can't walk up the stairs and in this months' H&F is an 80yo woman who runs marathons.
We've got a local person who holds the senior women's record in the California International Marathon, who is 80-something.

And how much of that weight is muscle?
More than there used to be, but not enough! :0
heliokleia: LORIOT IC - THE DUCK STAYS OUTSIDE!heliokleia on October 23rd, 2008 08:06 pm (UTC)
First I thought to vote for #4, but I fear for your payback in 1 1/2 years, my dear Mme Venus...^^
*cackles*

"MY YOUTH, WHERE DID YOU GO?" - Ah, I'm joining you in this...
*sighs*
But then, after some cold and rainy days, I feel so happy, sitting in my small office and let the sun shine on my face while watching all the kiddies, playing in their kindergarden down the street...

Well, I think that Joni Mitchell's "The Circle Game" said it all:
"...We can't go back
We can only look
Behind from where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game."

There's so much truth in this song... wise woman!
*nods*

But engouch melancholy! Hey, look... we can walk on our own feet - without a wheelchair^^ - and we've get experiences! So, be proud of yourself, sweetheart, because you deserve it!
*huggles*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on October 23rd, 2008 08:28 pm (UTC)
I'm still waiting for someone to vote for #4. :D

I feel so happy, sitting in my small office and let the sun shine on my face while watching all the kiddies, playing in their kindergarden down the street...
Maybe this is one of the things I'm missing from when my kids were younger. Watching them run around with other kids and play, doing nothing, is in the past now and it's hard having it gone. I need to find some other little kids to spy on, in a totally non-creepy-don't-arrest-me kind of way. ;)

Hey, look... we can walk on our own feet - without a wheelchair^^
Or a cane! Which is no small blessing, though if you need a wheelchair or cane, at least you're able to leave the bed! :)
angels3angels3 on October 23rd, 2008 10:14 pm (UTC)
It's just a number and means absolutely jack shit to how you live your life.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on October 23rd, 2008 10:18 pm (UTC)
Most days I feel like that, it's true. This one's just... taking awhile to get used to. #30 was oddly hard, though #40 was easier. I have no rhyme or reason OR excuses. :)
eponin10 on October 23rd, 2008 10:44 pm (UTC)
*g* Well, in a couple of months I'll be as close to 40 as you are to 50, so... *eeps* How did that happen?
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on October 24th, 2008 12:49 am (UTC)
It's true what people mean when they say that the time flies. As you get older, it really does seem to go by faster. Compare that to when you were younger, and you measured your life in half-birthdays and pined over the incredibly long time it took to get to Christmas.

When you're the one staging Christmas, it comes much sooner than you usually want!
(no subject) - eponin10 on October 24th, 2008 12:08 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on October 24th, 2008 04:30 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on October 24th, 2008 12:50 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - eponin10 on October 24th, 2008 12:14 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on October 24th, 2008 04:31 pm (UTC) (Expand)
The Grammarian about whom your mother warned you.acostilow on October 24th, 2008 01:12 am (UTC)
Happy birfday!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Birthdayhalfshellvenus on October 24th, 2008 01:26 am (UTC)
Thank you! *waves*

*focuses on the being here, not the being older* *repeats seven times*

:D
Maz (or foxxy!): Pirate Cattuesdaeschild on October 24th, 2008 09:19 am (UTC)
You're younger than me so of course you're a whippersnapper!! :)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB Final Hughalfshellvenus on October 24th, 2008 04:32 pm (UTC)
I knew there'd be more than just a couple of people who would look at that and think, "I'm totally older than that! Shut up!" ;)

Thanks so much for the birthday champagne, Marilyn. It's just what I needed to face that number! ♥
(no subject) - tuesdaeschild on October 27th, 2008 06:09 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on October 31st, 2008 07:33 am (UTC) (Expand)
aizjanikaaizjanika on October 30th, 2008 03:12 am (UTC)
The main thing I noticed when I turned 40--after that, really--was the extra weight. :-( I was exercising a lot and didn't change my diet at all (which was generally healthy), and the weight started creeping/packing on *very* easily no matter what I did. And it's much, much harder to lose it now. I'm almost 48 now... Eeep.

Since I turned 40, I've also noticed a lack of stamina and a general tiredness. I exercised a lot and injured my back. I did physical therapy which caused other problems. heh I've had lots of little minor health issues which all add up to one giant pain in the butt (too many doctor visits and useless tests and lots of annoyances in my daily life).

I don't think I'd mind getting old except for that, really. Even the weight wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for all the other stuff.

Also, happy belated birthday. :-)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on October 31st, 2008 07:32 am (UTC)
I exercised a lot and injured my back. I did physical therapy which caused other problems. heh I've had lots of little minor health issues which all add up to one giant pain in the butt
This is the kind of story I keep hearing repeated, especially for women. Sometimes we're all just one injury (or pregnancy) from packing on the pounds and never getting them off again.

Mine was pregnancy-- I struggled for years after child #2 with the last 6-8 lbs., and when I got plantar fasciitis and had to change my patterns/activities that REALLY did me in. It's all been downhill since then, even though my feet are much better now.

A couple of women at work had this happen via back injuries, like you. Once you get laid up for awhile and the weight comes on (as it does for some of us the second we stop exercising to maximum intensity), then you're stuck on a perpetual diet which if you're lucky only results in slowing down the weight gain. It's really frustrating, and I've watched the weight creep up even as I've been battling it constantly. :(

I hate to think of physical therapy creating other problems! Is it better now? Are things starting to turn around?

There's a guy at the office that I see at the gym, and I asked him what his workout routine was. Apparently, his only routine is to move around between the various types of exercise equipment and work at modest intensity for no more than about 15 minutes on each. He said that if he doesn't do that, his back starts to bother him-- the switching around and going short durations is his formula to quiet his back problems, and it works for him. Doing nothing was wrong, and overdoing was wrong. This is the thing that works-- and I suspect he stumbled across it on his own.

Thanks for the birthday wishes, too! I'm glad to have others in my age ballpark-- you know whereof I speak!