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04 October 2005 @ 10:18 pm
Prison Break Fanfiction: Where it All Began  
Title: Where It All Began
Author: HalfshellVenus
Category: Lincoln/Michael pre-slash
Rating: PG-13 (for subject matter)
Spoilers: none
Author’s Note: This could be considered the predecessor to “What Michael Wanted,” followed by “The Arrangement.”
Warnings: Michael has deeper feelings for Lincoln than he should. DO NOT READ IF THIS OFFENDS YOU.
Summary: Michael wondered if he even existed anymore when Lincoln was gone.

x-x-x-x

It had started sometime during his teen years.

As a boy, there were no memories of his father, but he’d had his mother. They hadn’t been well off, but life was relatively normal, as much as it could be for a too-smart boy with no father at home.

After his mother died, things had changed. Lincoln became the center of his lost universe. Less an older brother and more a savior, Lincoln didn’t always know the right thing to do. But what mattered was that he tried, and that he was all Michael had left.

When Michael turned 10, Lincoln started to be away more often. He stopped coming home after school, instead showing up during dinner—or later. Michael wasn’t sure what Lincoln was up to, but he was certain of the effects it was having. Lincoln talked less. He stopped really paying attention to what Michael was saying. A pat on the shoulder, a tossed-off “How’s it going?” became the extent of their relationship. Michael lost interest in almost everything except those moments at the end of the day when Lincoln spoke to him, all too briefly.

Four years later, Lincoln seemed to be gone all the time. Sometimes before school, Michael would check his brother’s bedroom and see him sprawled across the bed in a nearly comatose state of sleep. On the worst nights, when his loneliness was choking him, Michael would peek quietly into Lincoln’s room. If he was there, Michael would creep through the dark and sit on the floor, resting his head against Lincoln’s bed and listening to him breathe.

Michael wondered if he even existed anymore when Lincoln was gone.

One night, in college, Michael woke up from a dream in which he had been kissing Lincoln. Breathless and wet, he lay there shaken and stunned. Most people would have been shocked by such a dream, but Michael knew better than to deny it. The dream was not at all what scared him. It had been rapturous and fleeting, almost like a glimpse of heaven.

Instead, he was gripped by the knowledge of what those feelings would drive him to do. In that moment of recognition, Michael knew that his fate had already been sealed. No matter what he wanted or planned, those feelings—and whatever direction Lincoln’s choices led them in-- would determine the course of his life. He would no more control his destiny as a man than he had as a child. And this was something he could not hope to change.



-------- fin --------



 
 
 
The Good, The Bad and The Lanathelana on October 5th, 2005 05:32 am (UTC)
Interesting that you should peg Michael's age at 10. Since supposedly Michael was 11 when their mother died. But since we know that she died of cancer, she probably was terminally ill for quite some time before her death. So it actually would be a good time for Lincoln to start his drug addiction.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on October 11th, 2005 02:40 am (UTC)
I was guessing my best from the (lousy) casting they did for the younger boys. The Michael actually looked much younger than that to me.

I'm guessing Lincoln's drug problems started later-- when he started to assume he wasn't needed quite so much. Right around the time he starts staying out all night and sleeping during the day, in the story.
The Good, The Bad and The Lana: bubblethelana on October 5th, 2005 08:19 pm (UTC)
Adding on (in an attempt to be a bit more precise)...

I really liked this one and it makes for good build up. Love the dream, but also love Michael sneaking in and watching Lincoln sleep. That's an image that I've had in my mind for quite a while now.

As usual my complaints would just be: More! Longer! More details!

BTW, how did you enjoy "our" hug?
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on October 11th, 2005 04:54 am (UTC)
Loved the hug! Not just in slashy sense, but because it seemed so fitting given what they both had been through. Michael had probably been needing a good hug and breakdown since the toe incident, and then to see the monster he had unleashed in triggering that riot must have sent him over the edge. And with Lincoln, worrying whether Michael was all right and being half choked to death an hour earlier-- what a relief to find him alive and well. A great scene-- especially with the riot still erupting around them.
Kimberley: Rhonalampshade_days on October 5th, 2005 08:23 pm (UTC)
Good, believable background.

Really, really like this line:
Michael wondered if he even existed anymore when Lincoln was gone.
It captures quite perfectly the connection between Michael and Lincoln, the way their fates are so inextricably bound up together.

I love reading about these two, and I greatly enjoy the way you write them. Keep it up. :D
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on October 11th, 2005 04:55 am (UTC)
Thanks so much. I enjoying delving into their (imaginary) thoughts and motivations.

So much easier when the show reveals _less_ detail. Canon will probably destroy most of what I've written by the next few months :-(.
Kimberleylampshade_days on October 11th, 2005 04:59 am (UTC)
*grins* There's always AU.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on October 13th, 2005 06:26 pm (UTC)
Don't know why I didn't mention this before, but that line,

"Michael wondered if he even existed anymore when Lincoln was gone."

was the germ of this story. Written backwards from there, and then forwards.

It's odd how these things work themselves out.
cattisandklece on October 5th, 2005 09:27 pm (UTC)
o.O i thought i already reviewed here, but i guess not.
Anyway, good ol's brotherly love ;)
I've notice in all your fics, you've made Michael the one that takes action.
o.o No one else does this...so you are unique! ^_^
Nice job.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on October 11th, 2005 05:00 am (UTC)
You know, I don't think I've read any fics where Lincoln takes action. Unless that would be a Lincoln/Veronica fic, which I would have to force myself to read
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You know, I don't think I've read any fics where Lincoln takes action. Unless that would be a Lincoln/Veronica fic, which I would have to force myself to read <dreadful character or actress, not sure which. Energy vacuum>.
Thanks for all your reviews in the various postings. It's nice to know people are enjoying these stories!
ivy_x3 on October 7th, 2005 02:16 am (UTC)
i love this.. and all the other ones that i've read from you. sadly you're the only one i know that writes Lincoln/Michael slash.. i wish there was more out there.

quick question: i notice you only write pre-slash. is there a certain reason?

hoping for more from you, but no pressures!! =)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on October 11th, 2005 04:58 am (UTC)
Have you checked out "Rescue and Reward" or "The Arrangement"?
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Have you checked out "Rescue and Reward" or "The Arrangement"? <also available on Fanfiction.net, where I write under HalfshellVenus>.

Those are actual slash (they were written before this story, and "What Michael Wanted." I worked backwards, after some suggestions from readers).

Those are available here too, but I haven't followed up further chapters of "The Arrangement" in the LiveJournal postings. It will take me awhile to figure out how to link chapters nicely, so that readers aren't wandering through the prisonbreak_fic archives to get all the parts.

Glad you're enjoying these. Makes it all worthwhile!
ivy_x3 on October 12th, 2005 11:29 pm (UTC)
oh i completely forgot about those!! they were excellent, i liked the whole "shed" thing. lol. and i went to fanfiction.net too, thanks for the suggestion!!

just wanted to let you know there is now a prison break slash community open. there's isn't any fanfiction posted, but i thought if you wanted, you could post your work there. i'm sure people will really enjoy them =]
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on October 13th, 2005 05:54 pm (UTC)
I think that will be my project for this weekend! Too much real life during the work week-- it's all I can do to try to work on additional chapters of "The Arrangement."

At some point, I hope to link them off of LiveJournal too (including Chaps 2 & 3), but finishing them and feeling like they're done comes first.

Thanks for the reminder :-*
Diellepseudoartiste on October 7th, 2005 07:19 am (UTC)
You are my hero! Seriously, no one writes this pairing like you, keep up the kick a$$ work!
fashes ilia: Prison Break ~ tigress35fashes on October 8th, 2005 10:41 am (UTC)
Yay! dirty wrongness!!
The brothercest is 80% of why I started watching this show. The force of Michael's focus on Lincoln is well played here. *cheers*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on October 11th, 2005 05:03 am (UTC)
Re: Yay! dirty wrongness!!
It has to be believable enough to justify my slash stuff without making that seem totally ridiculous.

I hope to be selling the "possibility" well, since Michael's motivations and devotion seem unusually strong. Given what he's endured (the full-torso tattoo) and the risks he opened himself up to, he must be nearly obsessed with Lincoln.

This seemed like a strong foundation of "why."

Thanks for reading!
(Anonymous) on October 16th, 2005 04:46 am (UTC)
I love this show!!
I'm glad I found this community.
Lincoln and Michael are yummy!
I will now try to find the rest of the story, thanks :D
tyrical: PB_Alazysod_Scofieldtyrical on January 2nd, 2006 04:46 pm (UTC)
It was like a peek into Michael's mind. The understanding of why he will risk everything to see his brother returned to him.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on January 2nd, 2006 05:42 pm (UTC)
This version of Michael actually explains his actions more than anything else I can think of. He is risking so much, has already branded himself with this mission (his tattoo). It has to be more than a simple relationship.

And the series isn't giving us anything, which is great for me because then I can invent!
Bstrifechaos on January 6th, 2006 03:12 am (UTC)
Wow, I love it. It's so breath takingly in-character for him. You've got a great grasp on his character. You have amazing skills. *glomps* Hope to see more of your work. *grins* *waves*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on January 6th, 2006 05:14 am (UTC)
Thank you so much!

Please-- work your way through my fandom! That's what my LJ homepage is set up for. *waves back*
Maz (or foxxy!)tuesdaeschild on May 11th, 2006 09:29 am (UTC)
The show doesn't need to give us more about Michael's reasons or motivations because THEY COULDN'T POSSIBLY DO IT BETTER THAN YOU!!

Another right on the button examination of what drives Michael!

Love it! Completely!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: wetMichaelhalfshellvenus on May 11th, 2006 07:06 pm (UTC)
The show doesn't need to give us more about Michael's reasons or motivations because THEY COULDN'T POSSIBLY DO IT BETTER THAN YOU!!
OMG, you win at comments today!

These were written so early on in the series, because they still make the most sense of anything. It's an insane, foolhardy, desperate thing to free your DeathRow brother from inside prison. And the most compelling reason for why you'd do it? Is right here.

It explains everything, and in such a believable and satisfying (to some of us) way. When canon went with the "Well, Michael has LLI, and he saves people because he's stupid and defective that way," it was a moment of... Give Me A Break. Find real motivations and write them into the series-- not this copout crap. Gah.

/rant off (oops, sorry. Hotbutton issue with the LLI and all). So glad you liked this! :D
Maz (or foxxy!)tuesdaeschild on May 12th, 2006 08:41 am (UTC)
When canon went with the "Well, Michael has LLI, and he saves people because he's stupid and defective that way," it was a moment of... Give Me A Break. Find real motivations and write them into the series-- not this copout crap
With you all the way on that! Michael might have LLI but I find it hard to buy that compulsion to help people so unselfishly. Except maybe his brother.

No need to apologise for ranting! It's allowed!