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21 September 2008 @ 01:03 pm
Star Trek TNG Fiction: InQsitiveness (Picard/Q, PG)  
Title: InQsitiveness
Fandom: Star Trek, TNG
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Picard/Q (one-sided Slash)
Rating: PG
Summary: Picard's Risa vacation keeps getting more interesting all the time.
Author's Notes: For sasha_anu, who requested a Picard/Q jealousy fic for the Fall Fandom Free-For-All. I hope you like it!

Q~Q~Q~Q~Q

"I thought you were the all-business type, Jean-Luc, certainly not this."

Picard caught himself on the verge of falling into the hotel wardrobe at the sound of that voice. "Q! What are you doing here?"

"I might ask you the same question, Jean-Luc. A pleasure planet, no less—how very naughty of you." Q stepped closer, crowing Picard against the wall. "And the creature in the next room now, really. What were you thinking?"

Picard ducked under Q's arm and busied himself with the tea service on the table. "I don't answer to you, Q. My amusements are none of your concern."

Q leaned against the wall, folding his arms as he watched Picard go through the ritual of pouring and steeping. "Amusements," he sniffed. "Yes, that certainly seems to describe the quality of what you've found." He regarded Picard's robe with undisguised interest. "Is this miniscule garment part of the amusement as well? You've never dressed that way for me, Jean-Luc."

Picard frowned abruptly. "I've never dressed any particular way with you in mind at all." He sampled the tea, and found it excellent. "As I recall, you have yet to turn up by invitation."

"Oh, pooh. Waiting is so dull, and you mortals pass through the universe so quickly. Where would we be if I waited for you to make the first move?" He snapped his fingers and the robe vanished.

Picard stilled at the sudden chill, both inside and out. "Q…" he began threateningly.

"I must say, I rather like the color of the red ones you've worn before better…"

"Return my clothing to me immediately!"

"And spoil the view? I think not."

A woman's voice called from the bathroom: "Jean-Luc, is someone out there?"

"It talks," Q muttered petulantly, "in a manner of speaking. Really, Jean-Luc, you could do so much better: 'Ith thomeone out there?' I don't know how you stand it."

Picard walked over toward the bathroom. "Just a communique from the Enterprise," he reassured its occupant through the door. "It's nearly finished," he added, glaring at Q pointedly.

"Oh what's she got that I haven't, tell me that," Q demanded.

"Where shall I begin?" Picard answered dryly, taking a piece of toast from the service tray and putting it on a plate.

"Perhaps the hair?" Q suggested, his head suddenly covered with dark, flowing tresses, "Or something more along the lines of this." Twin mounds of maiden flesh swelled under the front of Q's tunic, disturbingly ill-matched with the rest of his physique.

Picard turned toward the window, where the scenery was less unsettling. "You're making me dizzy," he remarked.

"The things I could show you, Jean-Luc—fiery oceans, silver birds, the planet of Tsuliva with its fifteen moons…"

"I'm quite satisfied with Risa, as it happens, and my current companion has been delightful," Picard said firmly.

"Yes," Q said sourly, "I'm sure she has. But there's no reason to limit oneself to such meager offerings, Jean-Luc. In fact—"

"Q!"

"It's high time we broadened your horizons a bit." Q snapped his fingers, and then all was silent.

Moments later the bathroom door opened and slender, dark-haired woman in a bath towel stepped into the room, surprised to find it empty.

"Jean-Luc?" she asked. "Hello?"

The warm tea and freshly-bitten toast reassured her. Oh well. He can't have gone far…



-------- fin --------

 
 
 
Jas Massonjasmasson on September 21st, 2008 08:07 pm (UTC)
Oh My God. I LOVE Q/Picard! And I love you ;-)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Yay!halfshellvenus on September 21st, 2008 08:11 pm (UTC)
Hee!

They're just hilarious together, if for no other reason than that Picard can be so stiff and Q so incredibly oblivious to boundaries.

Not to mention that he just can't resist Picard for any length of time. ;)

Well, then again-- we've all seen that Risa getup. :0
Clair de Lune: divers - tvclair_de_lune on September 21st, 2008 08:11 pm (UTC)
Mwaaa. Well, except for the fact that I'm not into slash as far as Star Trek is concerned, this is just so... Q *g*
Funny ficlet ;)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Random Fandomhalfshellvenus on September 21st, 2008 08:15 pm (UTC)
Q apparently is into slash, or at least far too into Picard.

Though really, Picard's reactions make it SO worth his while. ;)

Glad you enjoyed this! :D
IDK, my BFF Jared Leto?: i lol'd!gekizetsu on September 21st, 2008 10:00 pm (UTC)
HAHA Q YOU DOG.

Q has always been soooooo fascinated with Picard.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Random Fandomhalfshellvenus on September 21st, 2008 10:05 pm (UTC)
I still remember the episode where he appeared in bed next to Picard. ;)

And I will NEVER forget Picard's legs or the chest-flashing in that short, short robe he had on Risa. Dear god. :0
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Random Fandomhalfshellvenus on September 22nd, 2008 03:23 am (UTC)
I can practically hear Q's sneer while he bashes Vash.
And you know he can't help himself for a single second of it, either. ;)

The only thing that could have made this better would have been porn but snark is close enough. lol
:D I have trouble with that part, because I can't envision Picard consenting to it. But Q being interested? Oh yes-- it's canon!

I'm glad you liked it-- I actually wrote another one of these a year or two ago, which is here. You might like that one as well. ;)

Q being snarky is SO much fun to work with. :D
brigid_tanner: bobby-crazy fucksbrigid_tanner on September 22nd, 2008 02:16 am (UTC)
Cool. I love Picard, and you've got his voice down. I could listen to that man read the phon book. Q ... oh, Q. I saw the actor first on Days of Our Lives as crazy Eugene, and I never could really get into him as Q. But Picard, oh I do love Picard ;)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Random Fandomhalfshellvenus on September 22nd, 2008 03:26 am (UTC)
I could listen to that man read the phone book.
Oh, me too. You know what's funny is that we used to have a cat that liked him too. :0 I'd be watching ST:TNG in the living room while biking in the house, and the intro would come up with Picard's voiceover and the cat would perk up and stare at the screen until Picard stopped talking!

Q ... oh, Q. I saw the actor first on Days of Our Lives as crazy Eugene
I saw him there too, and that whole thread of plot was too much for me on that soap (too silly!). So I liked him as Q better, because at least he was in the right universe. That and the "Lieutenant Woof" references and turning Dr. Crusher into a dog (but the hair matched!) and all of his other naughtiness.

Not to mention his undeniable attraction to Picard. ;)
Ariss Tenohariss_tenoh on September 22nd, 2008 06:08 pm (UTC)
I love this! It captures the playfulness and irreverent humour of Q. There really should be more Picard/Q fic out there^_^
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Random Fandomhalfshellvenus on September 22nd, 2008 09:26 pm (UTC)
It captures the playfulness and irreverent humour of Q.
He really is delightfully naughty at times, isn't he? Not to mention how much fun it is to write his particular brand of sarcasm. :)

There really should be more Picard/Q fic out there^_^
Agreed! They bring out each other's worst qualities in the most hilarious way possible. ;)
growyourwingsgrowyourwings on October 6th, 2008 05:54 am (UTC)
Man, I haven't read a Picard/Q in years! It's the pairing that introduced me to slash. Thanks so much for this! I enjoyed it a lot.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Random Fandomhalfshellvenus on October 6th, 2008 09:20 pm (UTC)
It's the pairing that introduced me to slash.
Really? I date from the Kirk/Spock days, but Picard/Q is pretty much canon slash. At least, from Q's side anyway. ;)

I'm very glad you enjoyed this. It's always fun to write these two playing off of each other. Poor Picard-- a Q cannot be made to behave. ;)
growyourwingsgrowyourwings on October 7th, 2008 12:03 am (UTC)
Long story. I'm a TOS fan from the beginning, 1967--but was way backward and didn't even know there was such a thing as slash until I accidently came across a P/Q story about 8ish years ago. I eventually found my way to K/S and read through about 20 years worth of stories. Then a brief stint into LOST and now am addicted to SPN.

And all because I liked the character of Q and googled him one day when I was bored. So I have an even greater fondness for Q because, in his mischievious (sp??!!) way--he led me to slash.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on October 7th, 2008 02:14 am (UTC)
I eventually found my way to K/S and read through about 20 years worth of stories.
I didn't find the stories until the last 12 years or so-- there really wasn't much of a way to get them out where they could be read, other than 'zines and stuff (which I've never done). One of my K/S favorites is still the New Orleans one by Killashdra. Oh, the atmosphere!

Then a brief stint into LOST
I glutted on Lost Slash on the first two seasons, and though Sawyer was the only one who could make Jack hot to me, I really preferred the hate-sex dynamic of Sawyer/Sahid. And I'm not a hate-sex kind of person, but there was so much more chemistry (and prettiness) in that combo for me. Still doesn't get written as often as the other.

And we all know the attraction of SPN. Lordy, but those two kill me. :)

And all because I liked the character of Q and googled him one day when I was bored.
He always cracked me up-- my favorite TNG guest star other than Ambassador Kaylar. He was always so impetuous and easily annoyed by human foibles, and darn if he didn't know a good thing in Picard when he saw it!

So I have an even greater fondness for Q because, in his mischievious (sp??!!) way--he led me to slash.
I understand entirely-- I'd feel much the same way! And on top of it, he's also terribly funny. :)
growyourwings: Shatner Pretty in Pinkgrowyourwings on October 7th, 2008 02:41 am (UTC)
"One of my K/S favorites is still the New Orleans one by Killashdra. Oh, the atmosphere!"

YES! I loved that story! I think it was called "The Turning Point"??

And I was definitely more into Sawyer/Sayid then the Jack/Sawyer/whomever pairings. I never have been a huge Jack fan. However, it was Zelda's The Exchange that truly got me hooked on the triple threat of J/S/S.

Hmm.. Who WAS that fanfic P/Q writer that I read so much of back in my beginning slash days...Ah yes, Varoneeka.

Wow that was kinda fun--I just went back a looked at my electronic stash of P/Q & K/S fics. I have 67 P/Qs and 330 K/S's! I should really go back and have a fic-reading marathon someday. Other K/S favorites were "The Berries", "A Meal to Remember", "Evergreen" (I think that's the Christmas one), "Through the Looking Glass" (which I believe is a Mirror, Mirror fic), ah..and "Surrender" by Killa. Is that the same author that did "Turning Point?"
growyourwings: SPN Dean Don't Objectify Megrowyourwings on October 7th, 2008 02:50 am (UTC)
BTW--I think P/Q even introduced me to fanvids. There was this one P/Q fanvid set to the sone "Footloose". I hate that song, but must have watched that fanvid a hundred times. It was by SDWolfpup (I wonder if that's the same Wolfpup who does the SPN fanvids today? Hmm...never noticed that before).

Same path as for fanfics--sent from that one P/Q fanvid to several K/S fanvids. Never really found any good (and at all?) Lost fanvids. And SPN is fanvid heaven.

So many talented people. It still amazes me when I think about it.
Livin' La Vida Dorka: Haz No Iconzwere_lemur on October 6th, 2008 04:40 pm (UTC)
Hehe, this is GREAT!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Random Fandomhalfshellvenus on October 6th, 2008 09:20 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Random Fandomhalfshellvenus on October 6th, 2008 09:22 pm (UTC)
You're so lucky that canon itself came up with an icon source for you. My regular fandoms are much less helpful. ;)

I didn't care for Vash much (or her lisp), though I always thought Picard/Beverly was a pairing the show should have done more with. Though I distinctly remember Q treating her pretty badly too. ;)
dragonladyk on October 11th, 2008 05:14 am (UTC)
Hee. I love how Jean-Luc's famous calm goes straight to Hell when Q is around...

DragonLady
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Random Fandomhalfshellvenus on October 11th, 2008 05:19 am (UTC)
:D I think Q would try anyone's patience, but it's made worse by Picard being 'stiffer' than most and Q being far too interested in him!

Having Q materialize in his bed must have given Picard ightmares for months. ;)
Sayraaryas_zehral on January 2nd, 2009 07:09 am (UTC)
lol. *smile*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Random Fandomhalfshellvenus on January 12th, 2009 04:56 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad you liked it! I get a kick out of the way Q can bring out the sputters in Jean-Luc, and SO very easily. :D
kamicountd on February 13th, 2009 07:45 pm (UTC)
Oh, man.
This is great. There simply isn't enough Picard/Q. In fact, do you have any recommended fics? Do you think you might ever write longer ones? Have you?

Keep up the good work.

KCD
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Random Fandomhalfshellvenus on February 14th, 2009 12:27 am (UTC)
Re: Oh, man.
I don't actually write in this fandom (or any of the Star Trek fandoms), so this was more a whim than anything (just like the other one). When I see random prompts floating around in multi-fandom comms, sometimes I get inspired to write something which I ordinarily wouldn't. It's been so long since I watched TNG that I can't imagine doing anything lengthy in it, sorry to say.

But I'm so glad you enjoyed this, and I wonder if you might not find something at fanfiction.net (varying quality, I know) or at a general slash archive?