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08 September 2008 @ 11:06 pm
Supernatural Slash Drabble: These Fragile Lies (Sam/Dean, PG-13)  
Title: These Fragile Lies
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Sam/Dean (Slash, Drabble)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Sam's at Stanford, and there are so many things Dean swears he doesn't miss...
Author's Notes: A birthday drabble for black_regalia, who wanted Dean pining over Sam. I hope this hits the spot!
Also for supernatural100, this is "Glass."

x-x-x-x-x

Nights in the cold north, Dean doesn't dream of Sam's warm skin there beside him, he doesn't lie half-asleep waiting for the sounds of Sam breathing.

In the southern heat, Dean doesn't think of Sam off in California with beaches and sun, smiling for someone else.

It's better, he tells himself, better this way. He never should've—they, they both did—crossed that line. Sam'll find something real now.

He doesn't miss Sam's laughter, his quiet kisses.

Yet when he calls the dorm a year later and it's Sam who answers, the sound of his voice shatters Dean like glass.


-------- fin --------

 
 
 
black_regalia on September 9th, 2008 06:19 am (UTC)
*excited clapping* Birthday things! Thank you so much <333 That definitely hits the spot. Very much my kind of smooey, angsty fic.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam/Dean kisshalfshellvenus on September 9th, 2008 06:23 am (UTC)
Yay! I was hoping you meant "angst" when you said 'pining,' because otherwise this would have been the wrong sort of result entirely.

And what Dean wishes were really happening, that he refuses to admit to, is so painfully clear.

Many, many happy returns! I hope it was a wonderful day, and that the year proves a good one. ♥
jeza_jezaro: nelegalni_morningsjeza_jezaro on September 9th, 2008 06:47 am (UTC)
"...the sound of his voice shatters Dean like glass."

I was going to write something, but am too sleepy to form a decent thought, so I`ll just tell you how much I like this part pf the sentence and how it would be in my mind for the rest of the day
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam/Dean kisshalfshellvenus on September 9th, 2008 09:56 pm (UTC)
The whole story leads up to that moment, and I think/hope the reader feels the tension all that denial builds up in Dean until it's so suddenly and easily broken by the simple truth of Sam.
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam/Dean kisshalfshellvenus on September 9th, 2008 09:57 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Seems as if I've got that Stanford-era ache on the brain these days...
Jas Massonjasmasson on September 9th, 2008 07:33 am (UTC)
Oh, that's so beautiful.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam/Dean kisshalfshellvenus on September 9th, 2008 09:58 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I feel for Dean during that period where Sam was at college-- how heartbreaking that must have been at first, and how incredibly hopeless.
shaitanah: naruto_tearsshaitanah on September 9th, 2008 10:36 am (UTC)
So heartbreakingly beautiful! </3 I love it!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam/Dean kisshalfshellvenus on September 9th, 2008 10:27 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Shaitanah!
jelly babies to manualthehighwaywoman on September 9th, 2008 11:15 am (UTC)
Painfully beautiful -- "shattering like glass" is perfect, showing how fragile is his better-this-way facade. *applause*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam/Dean kisshalfshellvenus on September 10th, 2008 05:09 am (UTC)
showing how fragile is his better-this-way facade.

I've had the idea for this use of the prompt for several weeks now, and it's so nice to finally get the chance to do it!

All of that denial winding tighter and tighter around itself as time went by... it was destined to utterly fall apart.
brigid_tanner: Dean-breakingbrigid_tanner on September 9th, 2008 12:11 pm (UTC)
the sound of his voice shatters Dean like glass. Beautiful.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam/Dean kisshalfshellvenus on September 10th, 2008 05:11 am (UTC)
Thank you, Brigid!

The power Sam has over Dean, because of Dean's love for him, is such an all-consuming, tangible thing.
Entendre? Make mine a double.: SN brothers looking slashdeirdre_c on September 9th, 2008 02:03 pm (UTC)
Ouch. "He never should've- they..." Yes. That's exactly how Dean thinks of it. Great!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam/Dean kisshalfshellvenus on September 10th, 2008 05:13 am (UTC)
That's exactly how Dean thinks of it.
Even when he rationally knows it's something that they both did, he'll always blame himself.

And how can he help but believe it when Sam was the one who would walk away? *cries*
Yo: SPN:  Sam BW emodreamlittleyo on September 10th, 2008 03:55 am (UTC)
Oh, beautiful.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam/Dean kisshalfshellvenus on September 10th, 2008 06:21 am (UTC)
Thank you so much!

Boy, that Stanford ache never dims for me. Those must have been four incredibly long years for Dean. :(
layne: dean walllayne67 on September 10th, 2008 04:16 am (UTC)
Oh Dean ... so in denial :/
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam/Dean kisshalfshellvenus on September 10th, 2008 06:22 am (UTC)
No kidding!

And yet, denial =/= truth. No matter how hard you try to squeeze the facts from the one side to the other, it just doesn't work that way.
devon99 on September 10th, 2008 07:34 am (UTC)
This is quite, quite beautiful.
So full of hurt.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on September 10th, 2008 07:17 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

I tell you, Dean's ache over missing Sam during those Stanford years almost writes itself. *sniffle*
fiery_fox2fiery_fox2 on September 11th, 2008 06:04 pm (UTC)
Oh, ouch.
What a lovely-written "ouch", however. This line shattered me:

Yet when he calls the dorm a year later and it's Sam who answers, the sound of his voice shatters Dean like glass.

That, right there, is absolutely beautiful imagery. I don't know how you do it, but keep on doing it.
*dances*
:>
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam/Dean kisshalfshellvenus on September 12th, 2008 07:01 pm (UTC)
The whole drabble was written as a lead-up to that ending, which I'd been waiting to use for about a month now.

The harder part was finding the right way to build the tension within Dean so that when Sam's voice broke him, the reader would think that was the only thing that could possibly have happened at that point!
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam/Dean kisshalfshellvenus on September 12th, 2008 07:02 pm (UTC)
I know what you mean exactly-- as if there could be more detail in this exact same story to make it full-fledged.

And at the same time, if you feel the whole story in 100 words, that means the drabble is doing its job!

Thanks for reading. :)
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam/Dean kisshalfshellvenus on September 12th, 2008 07:05 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

I've been at these almost since the show started, so three full years. It took a little time to develop the knack, but I think it gets easier with practice to get a whole vignette into just 100 words.

I like the "he doesn't" thing
It's unusual to write a story in full-out denial, but it seemed exactly the right way to tell this so that when Dean is confronted with the slightest hint of all those things he desperately wants and has tried to ignore it just undoes him instantly.

Thanks, as always, for reading and commenting! I appreciate it very much. :)
Lizzie.screamoutloud on October 21st, 2008 10:03 am (UTC)
aww.
bless him
really good
xx
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam/Dean kisshalfshellvenus on November 5th, 2008 02:07 am (UTC)
Thank you! You know it had to have been so hard for him to have Sam walk away.

Love the manip in your icon- it's just gorgeous. :)
(no subject) - screamoutloud on November 5th, 2008 03:56 pm (UTC) (Expand)